'Cause he's smart.

Title	Season	Episode
Death Has a Shadow	1	1
I Never Met the Dead Man	1	2
Chitty Chitty Death Bang	1	3
Mind Over Murder	1	4
A Hero Sits Next Door	1	5
The Son Also Draws	1	6
Brian: Portrait of a Dog	1	7
Peter, Peter, Caviar Eater	2	1
Holy Crap	2	2
Da Boom	2	3
Brian in Love	2	4
Love Thy Trophy	2	5
Death Is a Bitch	2	6
The King Is Dead	2	7
I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar	2	8
If I'm Dyin' I'm Lyin'	2	9
Running Mates	2	10
A Picture Is Worth 1,000 Bucks	2	11
Fifteen Minutes of Shame	2	12
Road to Rhode Island	2	13
Let's Go to the Hop	2	14
Dammit Janet	2	15
There's Something About Paulie	2	16
He's Too Sexy for His Fat	2	17
E. Peterbus Unum	2	18
The Story on Page One	2	19
Wasted Talent	2	20
Fore, Father	2	21
The Thin White Line	3	1
Brian Does Hollywood	3	2
Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington	3	3
One If by Clam, Two If by Sea	3	4
And the Wiener Is...	3	5
Death Lives	3	6
Lethal Weapons	3	7
The Kiss Seen Round the World	3	8
Mr. Saturday Knight	3	9
A Fish Out of Water	3	10
Emission Impossible	3	11
To Love and Die in Dixie	3	12
Screwed the Pooch	3	13
Peter Griffin: Husband, Father... Brother?	3	14
Ready, Willing and Disabled	3	15
A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas	3	16
Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows	3	17
From Method to Madness	3	18
Stuck Together, Torn Apart	3	19
Road to Europe	3	20
Family Guy Viewer Mail #1	3	21
When You Wish Upon a Weinstein	3	22
North by North Quahog	4	1
Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High	4	2
Blind Ambition	4	3
Don't Make Me Over	4	4
The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire	4	5
Petarded	4	6
Brian the Bachelor	4	7
8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter	4	8
Breaking Out Is Hard to Do	4	9
Model Misbehavior	4	10
Peter's Got Woods	4	11
The Perfect Castaway	4	12
Jungle Love	4	13
PTV	4	14
Brian Goes Back to College	4	15
The Courtship of Stewie's Father	4	16
Fat Guy Strangler	4	17
The Father, the Son and the Holy Fonz	4	18
Brian Sings and Swings	4	19
Patriot Games	4	20
I Take Thee, Quagmire	4	21
Sibling Rivalry	4	22
Deep Throats	4	23
Peterotica	4	24
You May Now Kiss the... Uh... Guy Who Receives	4	25
Petergeist	4	26
The Griffin Family History	4	27
Stewie Loves Lois	5	1
Mother Tucker	5	2
Hell Comes to Quahog	5	3
Saving Private Brian	5	4
Whistle While Your Wife Works	5	5
Prick Up Your Ears	5	6
Chick Cancer	5	7
Barely Legal	5	8
Road to Rupert	5	9
Peter's Two Dads	5	10
The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou	5	11
Airport '07	5	12
Bill & Peter's Bogus Journey	5	13
No Meals on Wheels	5	14
Boys Do Cry	5	15
No Chris Left Behind	5	16
It Takes a Village Idiot, and I Married One	5	17
Meet the Quagmires	5	18
Blue Harvest	6	1
Movin' Out (Brian's Song)	6	2
Believe It or Not, Joe's Walking on Air	6	3
Stewie Kills Lois	6	4
Lois Kills Stewie	6	5
Padre de Familia	6	6
Peter's Daughter	6	7
McStroke	6	8
Back to the Woods	6	9
Play It Again, Brian	6	10
The Former Life of Brian	6	11
Long John Peter	6	12
Love Blactually	7	1
Road to Germany	7	3
Baby Not on Board	7	4
The Man with Two Brians	7	5
Tales of a Third Grade Nothing	7	6
Ocean's Three and a Half	7	7
Family Gay	7	8
The Juice Is Loose!	7	9
FOX-y Lady	7	10
Not All Dogs Go to Heaven	7	11
420	7	12
Stew-Roids	7	13
We Love You Conrad	7	14
Three Kings	7	15
Peter's Progress	7	16
Road to the Multiverse	8	1
Family Goy	8	2
Spies Reminiscent of Us	8	3
Brian's Got a Brand New Bag	8	4
Hannah Banana	8	5
Quagmire's Baby	8	6
Jerome Is the New Black	8	7
Dog Gone	8	8
Business Guy	8	9
Big Man on Hippocampus	8	10
Dial Meg for Murder	8	11
Extra Large Medium	8	12
Go, Stewie, Go!	8	13
Peter-assment	8	14
Brian Griffin's House of Payne	8	15
April in Quahog	8	16
Brian & Stewie	8	17
Quagmire's Dad	8	18
The Splendid Source	8	19
Something, Something, Something, Dark Side	8	20
Partial Terms of Endearment	8	21
And Then There Were Fewer	9	1
Excellence in Broadcasting	9	2
Welcome Back Carter	9	3
Halloween on Spooner Street	9	4
Baby, You Knock Me Out	9	5
Brian Writes a Bestseller	9	6
Road to the North Pole	9	7
New Kidney in Town	9	8
And I'm Joyce Kinney	9	9
Friends of Peter G.	9	10
German Guy	9	11
The Hand That Rocks the Wheelchair	9	12
Trading Places	9	13
Tiegs for Two	9	14
Brothers & Sisters	9	15
The Big Bang Theory	9	16
Foreign Affairs	9	17
Episode VI: It's a Trap	9	18
Lottery Fever	10	1
Seahorse Seashell Party	10	2
Screams of Silence: The Story of Brenda Q	10	3
Stewie Goes for a Drive	10	4
Back to the Pilot	10	5
Thanksgiving	10	6
Amish Guy	10	7
Cool Hand Peter	10	8
Grumpy Old Man	10	9
Meg and Quagmire	10	10
The Blind Side	10	11
Livin' on a Prayer	10	12
Tom Tucker: The Man and His Dream	10	13
Be Careful What You Fish For	10	14
Burning Down the Bayit	10	15
Killer Queen	10	16
Forget-Me-Not	10	17
You Can't Do That on Television, Peter	10	18
Mr. & Mrs. Stewie	10	19
Leggo My Meg-O	10	20
Tea Peter	10	21
Viewer Mail #2	10	22
Internal Affairs	10	23
Into Fat Air	11	1
Ratings Guy	11	2
The Old Man and the Big 'C'	11	3
Yug Ylimaf	11	4
Joe's Revenge	11	5
Lois Comes Out of Her Shell	11	6
Friends Without Benefits	11	7
Jesus, Mary and Joseph!	11	8
Space Cadet	11	9
Brian's Play	11	10
The Giggity Wife	11	11
Valentine's Day in Quahog	11	12
Chris Cross	11	13
Call Girl	11	14
Turban Cowboy	11	15
12 and a Half Angry Men	11	16
Bigfat	11	17
Total Recall	11	18
Save the Clam	11	19
Farmer Guy	11	20
Roads to Vegas	11	21
No Country Club for Old Men	11	22
Finders Keepers	12	1
Vestigial Peter	12	2
Quagmire's Quagmire	12	3
A Fistful of Meg	12	4
Boopa-dee Bappa-dee	12	5
Life of Brian	12	6
Into Harmony's Way	12	7
Christmas Guy	12	8
Peter Problems	12	9
Grimm Job	12	10
Brian's a Bad Father	12	11
Mom's the Word	12	12
3 Acts of God	12	13
Fresh Heir	12	14
Secondhand Spoke	12	15
Herpe, the Love Sore	12	16
The Most Interesting Man in the World	12	17
Baby Got Black	12	18
Meg Stinks!	12	19
He's Bla-ack!	12	20
Chap Stewie	12	21
The Simpsons Guy	13	1
The Book of Joe	13	2
Baking Bad	13	3
Brian the Closer	13	4
Turkey Guys	13	5
The 2,000-Year-Old Virgin	13	6
Stewie, Chris & Brian's Excellent Adventure	13	7
Our Idiot Brian	13	8
This Little Piggy	13	9
Quagmire's Mom	13	10
Encyclopedia Griffin	13	11
Stewie Is Enceinte	13	12
Dr. C and the Women	13	13
#JOLO	13	14
Once Bitten	13	15
Roasted Guy	13	16
Fighting Irish	13	17
Take My Wife	13	18
Pilling Them Softly	14	1
Papa Has a Rollin' Son	14	2
Guy, Robot	14	3
Peternormal Activity	14	4
Peter, Chris & Brian	14	5
Peter's Sister	14	6
Hot Pocket-Dial	14	7
Brokeback Swanson	14	8
A Shot in the Dark	14	9
Candy, Quahog Marshmallow	14	10
The Peanut Butter Kid	14	11
Scammed Yankees	14	12
An App a Day	14	13
Underage Peter	14	14
A Lot Going on Upstairs	14	15
The Heartbreak Dog	14	16
Take a Letter	14	17
The New Adventures of Old Tom	14	18
Run, Chris, Run	14	19
Road to India	14	20
The Boys in the Band	15	1
Bookie of the Year	15	2
American Gigg-olo	15	3
Inside Family Guy	15	4
Chris Has Got a Date, Date, Date, Date, Date	15	5
Hot Shots	15	6
High School English	15	7
Carter and Tricia	15	8
How the Griffin Stole Christmas	15	9
Yacht Rocky	18	1
Bri-Da	18	2
Absolutely Babulous	18	3
Disney's The Reboot	18	4
Cat Fight	18	5
Peter & Lois' Wedding	18	6
Heart Burn	18	7
Shanksgiving	18	8
Christmas Is Coming	18	9
Connie's Celica	18	10
Short Cuts	18	11
Undergrounded	18	12
Rich Old Stewie	18	13
The Movement	18	14
Baby Stewie	18	15
Start Me Up	18	16
Coma Guy	18	17
Better Off Meg	18	18
Holly Bibble	18	19
Movin' In (Principal Shepherd's Song)	18	20
Stewie's First Word	19	1
The Talented Mr. Stewie	19	2
Boys & Squirrels	19	3
CutawayLand	19	4
La Famiglia Guy	19	5
Meg's Wedding	19	6
Wild Wild West	19	7
Pawtucket Pat	19	8
The First No L	19	9
Fecal Matters	19	10
Boy's Best Friend	19	11
And Then There's Fraud	19	12
PeTerminator	19	13
The Marrying Kind	19	14
Customer of the Week	19	15
Who's Brian Now?	19	16
Young Parent Trap	19	17
Meg Goes to College	19	18
Family Cat	19	19
Tales of Former Sports Glory	19	20
LASIK Instinct	20	1
Rock Hard	20	2
Must Love Dogs	20	3
80's Guy	20	4
Brief Encounter	20	5
Cootie & The Blowhard	20	6
Peterschmidt Manor	20	7
The Birthday Bootlegger	20	8
The Fatman Always Rings Twice	20	9
Christmas Crime	20	10
Mister Act	20	11
The Lois Quagmire	20	12
Lawyer Guy	20	13
HBO-No	20	14
Hard Boiled Meg	20	15
Prescription Heroine	20	16
All About Alana	20	17
Girlfriend, Eh?	20	18
First Blood	20	19
Jersey Bore	20	20