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Clips from Family Guy - Meet the Quagmires (S05E05)

"These are the only people I get to party with."
Family Guy
"That's where the fourth hole is, right there."
Family Guy
"I like having a family. I got all the crazy out of my system when I was 18."
Family Guy
"Except for that time I rode the mechanical bull at that bar."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God, how embarrassing! Look how much fun I am!"
Family Guy
"before being brutally murdered."
Family Guy
"Oh, come on!"
Family Guy
"Step aside, junior. Nope, he's just knocked out."
Family Guy
"Hey, Death, I got a favor to ask you."
Family Guy
"At least, that's how everyone will see you."
Family Guy
"Hey, Peter, slap me five."
Family Guy
"Now, over by the diving board."
Family Guy
"Now, on the other side of the pool."
Family Guy
"All right, now, I want you to meet me at this address in an hour,"
Family Guy
"We are gonna raise more hell than Hellraiser."
Family Guy
"Hey, honey, you want some salt for your steak?"
Family Guy
"Hello, boys."
Family Guy
"I see those ivory lies in sweet Rosita's eyes"
Family Guy
"Stay tuned for President Ronald Reagan's"
Family Guy
"weekly radio address."
Family Guy
"Hey, did you ever have a barbecue?"
Family Guy
"- Molly Ringwald? - Yeah. How's it going?"
Family Guy
"- Well, I hope you got your fill, Peter. - Death, that was totally worth it."
Family Guy
"we somehow altered the past."
Family Guy
"Looks like she's coming out of Quagmire's house."
Family Guy
"- Husband? - Morning, Pete."
Family Guy
"causing the time line to skew off into an alternate tangent,"
Family Guy
"You ever hear the theory that if you kill a butterfly in the past,"
Family Guy
"And musician, Harry Connick Jr."
Family Guy
"Chevy!"
Family Guy
"Oh, God, Brian, we messed up bad. We messed up real bad."
Family Guy
"- Hi, Mr. Griffin. - How's it going, man?"
Family Guy
"Chris, Stewie!"
Family Guy
"Meg, stop staring at Mr. Griffin."
Family Guy
"Oh, there's the pie."
Family Guy
"We're the ones who were meant to be together, not you and Quagmire."
Family Guy
"I mean, there was a time back when we dated"
Family Guy
"Jane his wife"
Family Guy
"You are not taking my whole wallet so you can go shopping."
Family Guy
"Well, the only one who can help us is Death,"
Family Guy
"and he only shows up when somebody dies."
Family Guy
"Listen, you've got to send me back in time again, so I can marry Lois."
Family Guy
"and the bullet went right through him and killed Karl Rove and Tucker Carlson."
Family Guy
"and no one would be gay, yeah, I know the joke."
Family Guy
"Hey, you know what? Listen, Zapped sucks."
Family Guy
"That's hilarious! You are a delight. And Zapped is one of my favorite movies."
Family Guy
"- I figured Scott Baio... - Yes."
Family Guy
"- I can't wait to see the movie. - Well, terrific. I'll see you tonight."
Family Guy
"Peter, what the hell are you doing? You're supposed to be with Lois."
Family Guy
"Aw, crap! Death!"
Family Guy
"No! You know what? I'm not doing it again."
Family Guy
"I'm going to the Country Club Dance with Glenn."
Family Guy
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready."
Family Guy
"- Oh! Something poked me. - It's okay, it's okay."
Family Guy
"Hasn't been made yet. We could write it, Brian."
Family Guy
"Who's gonna play guitar?"
Family Guy
"Earth angel, earth angel"
Family Guy
"- Is that what you really want, Lois? - Yes, it is."
Family Guy
"Who the hell am I kidding? I don't deserve her."
Family Guy
"Why, I didn't know I meant that much to you."
Family Guy
"Lois Pewterschmidt, will you be my wife?"
Family Guy
"Earth angel, earth angel"
Family Guy
"Please be mine"
Family Guy
"Uh, okay."
Family Guy
"You know the rules and so do I"
Family Guy
"Well, listen to this!"
Family Guy
"that things are completely back to normal again."
Family Guy
"Who ate all the pecan sandies?"
Family Guy
"Lucky there's a man who positively can do"
Family Guy
"Yeah. I mean, it's only visible if you're looking from exactly the right angle,"
Family Guy
"like the entrance to Hogwarts. But you got to believe that it's there."
Family Guy
"Right there in the back of the knee."
Family Guy
"Not me. I was dating Lois the whole time. I never got to be wild."
Family Guy
"It's like I missed out on half my life."
Family Guy
"What I wouldn't give to be 18 again, like those kids on spring break."
Family Guy
"where the remains of three female college students"
Family Guy
"were found near a local nightclub."
Family Guy
"Reports suggest that all three were violated sexually"
Family Guy
"Hang on, I'll fix it."
Family Guy
"Oh, did you hear that? Noah Wyle here thinks he might be dead."
Family Guy
"Damn, I drove all the way out here. I had to cancel another appointment."
Family Guy
"I never like to be too far away from Mike Wallace."
Family Guy
"Could you let me go back in time and be 18 again?"
Family Guy
"Coming up next on ESPN,"
Family Guy
"Let's go. But just for one night."
Family Guy
"This is Newport Country Club. I used to be a towel boy here."
Family Guy
"Slap me ten."
Family Guy
"Around the side."
Family Guy
"And back again."
Family Guy
"Up high."
Family Guy
"Down low."
Family Guy
"I'm 18, and I'm ready to do some living."
Family Guy
"Yeah, sure."
Family Guy
"Gotcha! That's more salt than you wanted."
Family Guy
"Wow, 18-year-old Lois."
Family Guy
"Son of a bitch."
Family Guy
"Hi, Peter."
Family Guy
"I'm really looking forward to the movie tonight."
Family Guy
"that we could both fantasize about him, and no one would be gay."
Family Guy
"But we had a date."
Family Guy
"Ronald Reagan? The actor? He's President?"
Family Guy
"Peter, you're the one from the future. You should know... Ah, forget it."
Family Guy
"Oh, you've got to hear this new Eddie Murphy cassette I bought."
Family Guy
"I have!"
Family Guy
"Yeah, I've logged a lot of game hours on Menstrual Miss Pacman."
Family Guy
"- What? What? - Jeez."
Family Guy
"- Nothing. - Bitch."
Family Guy
"So, have you seen Ghostbusters?"
Family Guy
"Save your breath, geekwad. I'm here with my boyfriend."
Family Guy
"- Are you hitting on my girlfriend? - No, no, I was just being friendly."
Family Guy
"I will kick your ass anytime, anywhere."
Family Guy
"the morning of September 11th, 2001, 8:00 a. M?"
Family Guy
"- That was nice. - I'll say."
Family Guy
"Peter, is that... Are you..."
Family Guy
"Lucky for me, huh?"
Family Guy
"No, a hobby's good."
Family Guy
"All right, Peter, your time's up."
Family Guy
"- Oh, man, already? - Yup, come on."
Family Guy
"Good to meet you, Molly. I'll be back later for your career."
Family Guy
"I stumbled into that fat, lonely women's club."
Family Guy
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