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Clips from Family Guy - A Hero Sits Next Door (S01E01)

"I'm free! Free from the spell of those diabolical Teletubbies!"
Family Guy
""He's a family guy""
Family Guy
"Attention, please."
Family Guy
"More than I hate spinach, traffic jams, and the last few years of M* A*S*H."
Family Guy
"Cute as a button..."
Family Guy
"I got another one where Natalie's one of those spittin' lizards from Jurassic Park."
Family Guy
"Last guy who lived next door borrowed my toaster. Never saw it again."
Family Guy
"Peter, they might be very nice people."
Family Guy
"Then you open up the septic tank and... Skeleton city!"
Family Guy
"Okay, time for batting practice, my Happy-Go-Lucky Toy Boys."
Family Guy
"Oh, what? Is the baby coming out of him? Jeez, I'll pitch."
Family Guy
"Oh, how hard can it be to pitch?"
Family Guy
"And I can't say no to Joe. Ever."
Family Guy
"Last week, someone lost an eye at Bingo."
Family Guy
"Silence! Ever since you two met, you've done nothing but wax idiotic!"
Family Guy
"Joe, you have to meet our new neighbor, Lois Griffin."
Family Guy
"Hi. I'm Meg. I live next door."
Family Guy
"One time I walked into the locker room, I swear he was bench-pressing Mr. Weed."
Family Guy
"What? Look, all I'm saying is put an Israeli guy next to an Arab guy..."
Family Guy
"- Peter! - Don't get up."
Family Guy
"Picture wire? You son of a bitch."
Family Guy
"So much fun it should be illegal like copyright infringement."
Family Guy
"Hey, Peter!"
Family Guy
"He'll be here, Mr. Weed. You should see this guy in action."
Family Guy
"- Stand and deliver. Get the hell up. - You're a hoot, Peter."
Family Guy
"- Play ball! - Let's do it!"
Family Guy
"- What about club soda? - What about shutting the hell up?"
Family Guy
"They say baseball's the national pastime."
Family Guy
"I can't taste salt."
Family Guy
"All right! Did you see that?"
Family Guy
"Okay."
Family Guy
"Eat up, everyone. Tonight my wife won't be the only one enjoying a pig in a blanket."
Family Guy
"Joe, you're so funny."
Family Guy
"That's what kids want to play with. Yeah. A Beanie Baby in a bubble."
Family Guy
"- I demand to know who made you! - Stewie, it's not polite to point."
Family Guy
"That's okay, Lois. He's just curious about the chair."
Family Guy
"About 10 years ago I was investigating a robbery at an orphanage."
Family Guy
"Wow. Looks like you have a fan."
Family Guy
"You don't admire wheelchair people. You're supposed to feel sorry for them."
Family Guy
"He's a remarkable man and the rest of your family adores him!"
Family Guy
"I've done lots of things to help people."
Family Guy
"Remember the time I sang to the kids at the Sunday school?"
Family Guy
""Because He always puts Skippy"
Family Guy
""In my lunch""
Family Guy
"Well, go fetch 'em."
Family Guy
"All right, you guys wait right here."
Family Guy
"This was her first robbery and she was very brave."
Family Guy
"You'll never take us alive!"
Family Guy
"Mom, what do you do when you like a boy but he doesn't even notice you?"
Family Guy
"Meg loves Kevin."
Family Guy
"Such a mom answer."
Family Guy
"All right. Robin, what are you looking at me for? Look at her."
Family Guy
"Actually, I was gonna use the little girl as a human shield..."
Family Guy
"But improvise, that'll be easier on my back."
Family Guy
"Whoa. Hang on. Sorry, no one can leave."
Family Guy
"Listen, the whole reason I saved you guys today was so I could be a hero."
Family Guy
"Your family idolizes the lousy cripple and not you?"
Family Guy
"- Can you tell me if he's okay? - What's he look like?"
Family Guy
"If we want the cops to take us seriously, we have to waste a hostage. But who?"
Family Guy
"Don't worry. Joe's an excellent negotiator."
Family Guy
"You first."
Family Guy
"...I promise you there are people who care."
Family Guy
"Don't let him sweet talk you like that."
Family Guy
"Can you let me pistol-whip you a couple times for the camera?"
Family Guy
"Stupid robbers with your guns and your make-out parties."
Family Guy
"Now on the Russian MiG, it's next to the altimeter."
Family Guy
"Peter, you had us so worried. What on earth were you trying to prove?"
Family Guy
"Peter, Joe is a hero. But he's not our hero."
Family Guy
"You're always right there on the couch for us, making us laugh when we're upset."
Family Guy
"...they'll think you're a total psycho. And I can say, "That psycho is my dad!""
Family Guy
"...to the ice rink every morning at 6:00 a. m."
Family Guy
""It seems today that all you see"
Family Guy
""all the things that make us"
Family Guy
"Great. Say, you don't happen to have any picture wire, do you?"
Family Guy
"I got shortstop."
Family Guy
"Isn't baseball great?"
Family Guy
"...on and off the field."
Family Guy
"He's cool, Dad. He killed a guy."
Family Guy
"All right, Joe! Come on! Yeah!"
Family Guy
"Machiavelli! You've told me nothing I don't already know!"
Family Guy
"Sun Tzu's The Art of War."
Family Guy
"Stewie, those books aren't for babies. Here. Watch the Teletubbies."
Family Guy
"How dare you! That book may hold the key to my enslaving of all mankind."
Family Guy
"Fuzzy."
Family Guy
"Tickle."
Family Guy
"God. The more I resist, the more intriguing they become! I can't look away!"
Family Guy
"Again! Again!"
Family Guy
"Yes! Yes! Again! Again! Dear God, please once more!"
Family Guy
"Sorry, Stewie."
Family Guy
"A&E Biography is doing the life of the other guy from Wham."
Family Guy
"Thank you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless."
Family Guy
""is violence in movies and sex on TV"
Family Guy
""But where are those good, old-fashioned values"
Family Guy
""on which we used to rely?"
Family Guy
""Lucky there's a family guy"
Family Guy
""Lucky there's a man who'll positively tell you"
Family Guy
""laugh 'n' cry"
Family Guy
"Tomorrow is softball practice. We have a lot of work to do for Saturday's game."
Family Guy
"Don't forget how badly we were humiliated last year by Pawtucket Joke and Novelties."
Family Guy
"Look at those morons and their stupid glasses."
Family Guy
"Oh, man. I hate those guys."
Family Guy
"When Alan Alda took over behind the camera..."
Family Guy
"...and the show got all dramatic and preachy?"
Family Guy
"Am I right? Who's with me?"
Family Guy
"This year we will defeat those Pranksters with our secret weapon..."
Family Guy
"...Guillermo."
Family Guy
"Bravo!"
Family Guy
"You have impeccable credentials."
Family Guy
"I'm sure I can find a position for you somewhere."
Family Guy
"Back to work, people."
Family Guy
"Mr. Weed, I got a great idea for a new line of TV action figures."
Family Guy
"Facts of Life Transformers, huh? Watch the transformation."
Family Guy
"...fat as a cow..."
Family Guy
"...radioactive scorpion. Watch out, Mrs. Garrett. Here comes Blair."
Family Guy
"- I'll consider it. - He'll consider it!"
Family Guy
"Pat, I would like to solve the puzzle. "Go tuck yourself in. ""
Family Guy
"You got it."
Family Guy
"Well, you were close, Dad."
Family Guy
"Yeah. I still can't believe we missed the phrase, "My hairy aunt. ""
Family Guy
"Come on, Brian. I gotta get to softball practice."
Family Guy
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