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Clips from American Dad! (2005) - Comedy (S01E01)

"One hour ago, a cyber-terrorist hacked into the dam's computers and shut it down..."
American Dad! (2005)
"causing statewide blackouts..."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Any suspects? - No. But the psychopath faxed us this note."
American Dad! (2005)
"Luckily, there was paper in the machine this time."
American Dad! (2005)
"Nice shot, Smith. Accompanied by a hauntingly poignant turn of phrase."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, yeah? Well, my son's a chip off the old perfectly chiseled..."
American Dad! (2005)
"That'd be great, Hayley. I feel so cooped up in this place."
American Dad! (2005)
"It's like a prison, except without the thrill ofa daily cavity search."
American Dad! (2005)
"Way to step into it. Amazing."
American Dad! (2005)
"Huh. He's good, but he's no Smith."
American Dad! (2005)
"Sun was in your eyes. Wind took that one."
American Dad! (2005)
"Steve, I put yours in the blender soyou don't have to chew."
American Dad! (2005)
"It doesn't look like Steve had much fun at the batting cages."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Rok-pra! - You said it! Get a prenup."
American Dad! (2005)
"That's why I tookyour mother to Bangkok last summer."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh! Her Pad Thai is delicious now."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Absolutely. And I gotyou all baseball jackets too. - Oh, that's great, man!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Your size would have cost me two bucks extra, so, uh, just bring a sweater."
American Dad! (2005)
"- I've never been to a baseball game before. - Yeah?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- You? - I said wait, pork chop!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Hey, kids. Have fun at the game."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Steve, what areyou doing?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, thank God!"
American Dad! (2005)
"This time he hacked into the computer system ofthe largest refinery on the East Coast..."
American Dad! (2005)
"essentially shutting down all oil production."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, I hope that doesn't include olive oil."
American Dad! (2005)
"It's notyourfault that nut-job is still out there."
American Dad! (2005)
"So our son is a geek? Who cares?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Maybe the fact that he's not even my son?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Tell me! Ifyou ever loved me, you'll tell me that's what happened!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Look, you two are gonna go to the father/son softball game tomorrow..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, honey. You're breaking out in a stress rash."
American Dad! (2005)
"McCullough's Outdoor Furniture, Bob speaking."
American Dad! (2005)
"Ach, I'm sorry. I must have misdialed. Click."
American Dad! (2005)
"Look, you said you wanted a job soyou could meet people."
American Dad! (2005)
"It's not my fault the job market sucks. I didn't vote for Bush."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Uh, hey, Son. - Dad, check out my protective cup."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Oh, no. - Yeah, I know. God, I'm crushed!"
American Dad! (2005)
"We use the sun to send them to heaven."
American Dad! (2005)
"Half off on a peach smoothie!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Yes! I had a conversation."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hola, Taco King. Cómo estás?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- You're cutting into my business! - Oh, come on."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, that. Uh, well, I, uh-"
American Dad! (2005)
"And I onlywish I had never known the sickly sweet scent of my father's love..."
American Dad! (2005)
"And that I could have mustered something other than "Papa, no!"..."
American Dad! (2005)
"But you're a grinder, and you're getting braces."
American Dad! (2005)
"All right. All right. Settle down. Back to the cyber-terrorist."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Man!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- They ditched me."
American Dad! (2005)
"Steve, may I speak toyou for a second?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Come on, Steve. He's your dad."
American Dad! (2005)
"Shut up, fatty fat, fat pants!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Only the holder of the amulet may talk."
American Dad! (2005)
"The cyber-terrorist uses in his notes!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Now tell me, what is that language? - It's Elvish."
American Dad! (2005)
"then I could capture this madman and be one ofthe cool agents again."
American Dad! (2005)
"Please, Son. I really need your help."
American Dad! (2005)
"It's right here in the letterhead- "From the desk of Dan Vebber.""
American Dad! (2005)
"Time is- is of- T.I.O.- T.I.O.- What am I spelling here?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Roger, I know a place where"
American Dad! (2005)
"But wait a second. Steve was the one who-"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Agent Smith, C.I.A. - Agent Mulder, F.B.I."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, this is so great, not having to wear a disguise."
American Dad! (2005)
"You set fire to my Celica! No one believed me!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Mywife left me! She took my boys!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Yeah. Uh, this is kind of myweekend."
American Dad! (2005)
"would totally destroy Frodo!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- That's Dan Vebber! - Sorry, Vebber."
American Dad! (2005)
"- You're going away for a long time. So packyour baggins."
American Dad! (2005)
"So the enemies of Middle Earth are upon Dan Vebber."
American Dad! (2005)
"Notso fast, Halfling."
American Dad! (2005)
"avoiding the one person on this planet who wants to talk toyou."
American Dad! (2005)
"# Oh, boy it's swell to say #"
American Dad! (2005)
"# Goodmorning, U.S.A.#"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Who can bring me up to speed?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- I choose... Smith. - Face!"
American Dad! (2005)
"and my DVD of Personal Best to cut out right before the chicks did each other."
American Dad! (2005)
"No one has, sir. That's why we're flying in our top code breaker."
American Dad! (2005)
"He's notoriously diffiicult to work with."
American Dad! (2005)
"Some call him a genius. Others call him a madman."
American Dad! (2005)
"But he's the single most valuable weapon our country has in our war on terror."
American Dad! (2005)
"We must focus all of our resources on catching him!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Right after softball practice."
American Dad! (2005)
"It slipped the surly bonds of Earth to touch the face ofGod."
American Dad! (2005)
"Thanks. It's from Reagan's speech when the Challenger blew up."
American Dad! (2005)
"Speaking ofwhich, you're going down in flames at the father/son softball game Saturday."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hey, my kid just made varsity, and he's only 1 2 or something."
American Dad! (2005)
"Yeah. My son is so strong, when I talk out ofturn, he beats me up with one hand."
American Dad! (2005)
"His one freakishly large hand."
American Dad! (2005)
"never impotent, except for that one time I couldn't get Lisa Kudrow out of my head, block."
American Dad! (2005)
"My elf powers are invisibility, archery and worthy hygiene."
American Dad! (2005)
"I sure hope the fellows like Crystal Light as much as I do."
American Dad! (2005)
"Look, don't go down there."
American Dad! (2005)
"I promise I'll helpyou find a safe way to socialize with humans."
American Dad! (2005)
"Nice one! Beautiful!"
American Dad! (2005)
"You weren't readyyet. You weren't readyyet. You weren't readyyet."
American Dad! (2005)
"Thanks, Mom. And thanks again for hanging out with me today, Dad."
American Dad! (2005)
"Nonsense! You should have seen him crying when we were leaving."
American Dad! (2005)
"You know, Stan, maybe Steve's not the athleteyou think he is."
American Dad! (2005)
"Damn right. Because ifyou're an athlete, you're a winner."
American Dad! (2005)
"And all Smiths are winners. Therefore, all athletes are Smiths."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm sorry I'm late, Mai Ling. I'm thinking French tips this week."
American Dad! (2005)
"Behold! It is here. The events guide to this weekend's sci-fi convention."
American Dad! (2005)
"They're doing a Klingon wedding, followed by a Klingon divorce."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Really? - Absolutely. Ifyou want to get good at something..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Where did that come from?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Uh, yes, Steve's friend, it was me."
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, going to the beach as a Saudi exchange student was an awful idea."
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, I'm sorry no one talked toyou. But we can't risk anyone seeing you."
American Dad! (2005)
"You know, back home, l was a greeter at Philaxido?"
American Dad! (2005)
"It's kind oflike Wal-Mart."
American Dad! (2005)
"Except when people work there for 1 8 years, they aren't proud ofit."
American Dad! (2005)
"Listen, the C.I.A. said theywere done with me."
American Dad! (2005)
"I still have the headaches and the nightmares."
American Dad! (2005)
"What happened in Munich? Who did I kill?"
American Dad! (2005)
"No, no. I'm not here forthat. I'm herewith my son."
American Dad! (2005)
"He's an athlete, likeyou."
American Dad! (2005)
"We've beamed down to a planet of strange men in swaddling clothes."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm Sulu."
American Dad! (2005)
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