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Clips from Family Guy - Brian's a Bad Father (S12E12)

"Ah, this hunting trip is long overdue."
Family Guy
"and just waste them?"
Family Guy
"Well, maybe I can stir up some quail or pheasant"
Family Guy
"Should've taken the shot, fat-ass."
Family Guy
"Well, you want me to pull the trigger"
Family Guy
"There. See, Quagmire?"
Family Guy
"Older technology, older world view."
Family Guy
"Dylan? Your son?"
Family Guy
"The last thing he needs is a father who's,"
Family Guy
"Really? When-when was the part when you were there?"
Family Guy
"Hey... hey, Dylan."
Family Guy
"Hey, Dad!"
Family Guy
"I can cover for you at the project, Brian!"
Family Guy
"I don't know, Stewie."
Family Guy
"Geez, calm down, you guys."
Family Guy
"it's time somebody said this to him."
Family Guy
"I'm done with all your crap!"
Family Guy
"I never want to speak to you again!"
Family Guy
"I got my silent movie friends."
Family Guy
"Hey, what are you still doing here?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, you know, Stewie, I've been thinking about it."
Family Guy
"In entertainment news, Hollywood comes to Quahog"
Family Guy
"in the form of a new Disney Channel show"
Family Guy
"You remember that weekend we watched TV together?"
Family Guy
"And-and you know what's weird?"
Family Guy
"You... you want a job on my show?"
Family Guy
"by Mazda."
Family Guy
"Hey, Jerome, can you clear out my booth?"
Family Guy
"Come on, you guys."
Family Guy
"Joe, I got a box of salt water taffies,"
Family Guy
"Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe!"
Family Guy
"You see, in the '90s, this was a tough guy."
Family Guy
"I'm just one of the guys, all right?"
Family Guy
"You got it?"
Family Guy
"Okay, so we got to come up with a story"
Family Guy
"where DJ gets his driver's license?"
Family Guy
"That could work. I don't think we've done that."
Family Guy
"No, no, no."
Family Guy
"You should be, you know?"
Family Guy
"Art is scary."
Family Guy
"This is writing, man."
Family Guy
"The viewer wants to be raped."
Family Guy
"Are you saying my nine-year-old daughter wants to be raped?"
Family Guy
"Like-like, for instance, what if the daughter in Taken"
Family Guy
"was Zooey Deschanel?"
Family Guy
"the late-night phone calls, the attack ads."
Family Guy
"So I choose Quagmire."
Family Guy
"I love Susie more! Come here, Susie!"
Family Guy
"Uncle Peter's gonna give you a raspberry."
Family Guy
"I think it's best if you leave."
Family Guy
"an abdomen-punch abortion during her volleyball tournament."
Family Guy
"Wait, what?!"
Family Guy
"in the middle of a surgery!"
Family Guy
"I'm supposed to have surgery, but my doctor disappeared."
Family Guy
"Okay, Derek, this is the shot"
Family Guy
"I thought they were anybody's Diet Coke!"
Family Guy
"They're for work! I work at home!"
Family Guy
"You know what, Dad?"
Family Guy
"Is that Rite Aid- brand whiskey?"
Family Guy
"I think you've got to get down to that set"
Family Guy
"We're not allowed to let you in."
Family Guy
"if you hadn't yelled "For this!""
Family Guy
"You know, that-that kind of telegraphed"
Family Guy
"what you were gonna do."
Family Guy
"Ah, Stewie, it's no use."
Family Guy
"but I think I know someone who can."
Family Guy
"Acting."
Family Guy
"Driving? Yes. Automatic and standard..."
Family Guy
"Welcome aboard."
Family Guy
"but here on the Love Boat..."
Family Guy
"do I slit my wrists this way or this way?"
Family Guy
"Who's that?"
Family Guy
"What the hell's that new kid doing?"
Family Guy
"This isn't in the script."
Family Guy
"I'm talking about your dad, DJ."
Family Guy
"Stay on me, camera one."
Family Guy
"and now he feels like he's lost you all over again."
Family Guy
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
Family Guy
"You're damn right I am."
Family Guy
"Cut!"
Family Guy
"but I liked it."
Family Guy
"Who are you?"
Family Guy
"And I go where I'm needed."
Family Guy
"It's-it's my mom and dad's house,"
Family Guy
"I take you airport."
Family Guy
"I need you to shoot me in the arm"
Family Guy
"Hand me the gun, Peter."
Family Guy
"But-but just the fact"
Family Guy
"that I would make the offer is so meaningful to you."
Family Guy
"Stop! Stop! Quagmire, let go!"
Family Guy
"Come on! You're not leaving here without being shot!"
Family Guy
"Nothing got settled! You shot him!"
Family Guy
"Hey, Dad."
Family Guy
"I've been a really bad father, like Ernest Hemmingway"
Family Guy
"* Is violence in movies and sex on TV *"
Family Guy
"* On which we used to rely?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, I mean, it's just too bad that all the-the animals"
Family Guy
"grouped together, like in a cafeteria,"
Family Guy
"and you could just go in there with a trench coat"
Family Guy
"with my patented bird calls."
Family Guy
"Come on out!"
Family Guy
"I'm a bird of the opposite sex who's interested in mating!"
Family Guy
"We're gonna get laid!"
Family Guy
"Okay, 'cause your gun is pointing right at me."
Family Guy
"and prove it to you?"
Family Guy
"Quite the difference, huh?"
Family Guy
"You shot me!"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God, Peter!"
Family Guy
"That might be the dumbest thing you've ever done."
Family Guy
"was open that can of whup-ass."
Family Guy
"And that is a good day."
Family Guy
"I earned some banana bread."
Family Guy
"Oh, crap."
Family Guy
"It's Dylan."
Family Guy
"I haven't heard you mention him in ages."
Family Guy
"Hey, if I click "ignore,""
Family Guy
"Hey, it's Stewie!"
Family Guy
"Yeah, I'm right here with your dad!"
Family Guy
"I know we haven't talked in a while,"
Family Guy
"but I'm calling because I'm on my way to Quahog."
Family Guy
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