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Clips from Family Guy - The Lois Quagmire (S20E20)

"♪ It seems today that all you see ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ On which we used to rely? ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ All the things that make us ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Laugh and cry ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy. ♪"
Family Guy
"Oh, it's a letter from my fancy private high school."
Family Guy
"(barking)"
Family Guy
"(growling)"
Family Guy
"I'll take this envelope to the refuse, madam."
Family Guy
"Oh, thank you, letter butler."
Family Guy
"- What's that all about? - Oh, it's an invitation"
Family Guy
"to my high school reunion."
Family Guy
"I went to the Fancington's Academy for Insufferable Girls."
Family Guy
"Our mascot was a well-dressed woman who yells at valets."
Family Guy
"Nice. I'm sure you and Peter will have a great time."
Family Guy
"Uh..."
Family Guy
"(sharp inhale) Peter."
Family Guy
"Nobody look. This is a private, gross matter."
Family Guy
"Right."
Family Guy
"Do people bring husbands to these things?"
Family Guy
"You're not thinking of going without him, are you?"
Family Guy
"Honestly, Brian, these girls come from old money,"
Family Guy
"so they can be pretty stuffy and judgmental."
Family Guy
"Well..."
Family Guy
"I'm still available."
Family Guy
""But the real outliers were the friends we made along the way.""
Family Guy
"- The end. - (door opens)"
Family Guy
"- Oh, hey, Lois. - Wow, look at you."
Family Guy
"- Reading a book, huh? - Oh, yeah."
Family Guy
"I read everything people leave on planes."
Family Guy
"I read The Da Vinci Code four times."
Family Guy
"And I'm not sure the last time I've seen you in your uniform."
Family Guy
"You really clean up nice."
Family Guy
"Hey, Glenn, I have this class reunion coming up soon,"
Family Guy
"and I thought maybe it'd be fun if, I don't know,"
Family Guy
"you know, maybe the two of us went together."
Family Guy
"- What about Peter? - Oh, he hates those things."
Family Guy
"And football."
Family Guy
"- Climate change? - Well, that is a real problem."
Family Guy
"Hey, here's a fun thought: what if you go"
Family Guy
"and pretend to be my husband?"
Family Guy
"Well, I'm not used to wearing rings above the waist,"
Family Guy
"but what the hell-- I'll try anything once."
Family Guy
"Where you going, Mom?"
Family Guy
"Oh, I'm just heading out for the weekend"
Family Guy
"to visit the..."
Family Guy
"Museum of Dusty Vases."
Family Guy
"Why don't you just look at all the ones in this house?"
Family Guy
"So what do we do for dinner? Like, pizza?"
Family Guy
"- No pizza. - Okay, right. So, like, pizza?"
Family Guy
"No, Peter, not pizza."
Family Guy
"Okay, right. Not pizza."
Family Guy
"So just... pizza?"
Family Guy
"Okay, everyone, I stocked the fridge with healthy food."
Family Guy
"Your weight is a reflection on me,"
Family Guy
"so no pizza."
Family Guy
"Oh, pizza. Now, that's an idea."
Family Guy
"Peter, if you disobey me about the pizza,"
Family Guy
"there will be consequences."
Family Guy
"Mom's-out-of-town consequences,"
Family Guy
"which, according to the movies, are the worst kind."
Family Guy
"Fine, but I'm gonna tweet mean stuff at celebrities"
Family Guy
"that look vaguely like you."
Family Guy
"You're going to that reunion, aren't you?"
Family Guy
"Shh. Keep your voice down."
Family Guy
"Yes, I'm going, but with Quagmire, not Peter."
Family Guy
"Glenn's gonna pretend to be my husband to impress them."
Family Guy
"Are you sure that's a good idea?"
Family Guy
"I mean, it's Quagmire-- you know how he feels about you."
Family Guy
"Yeah, I know he's gonna try and sleep with me,"
Family Guy
"but I'm a big girl,"
Family Guy
"and I can handle Quagmire. I'll be fine."
Family Guy
"- But... - But nothing. Fetch!"
Family Guy
"Oh, not cool, Lois. Very not cool!"
Family Guy
"All right, she's gone."
Family Guy
"Now, who wants pizza?"
Family Guy
"Oh, no. No wife of mine carries her own bags."
Family Guy
"(straining)"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God, that's heavy."
Family Guy
"What's in these things?"
Family Guy
"Well, we're here for two nights,"
Family Guy
"so my hair dryer, my iron, my free weights--"
Family Guy
"and I thought maybe, if I had a minute,"
Family Guy
"I'd Rollerblade--"
Family Guy
"my CPAP machine and bedside table..."
Family Guy
"There's a whole table in here?"
Family Guy
"...travel Peloton, every robe I've ever owned,"
Family Guy
"and my desktop computer."
Family Guy
"It's got my email on there."
Family Guy
"Lois, I have an umbilical hernia."
Family Guy
"- They're on rollers. - Oh."
Family Guy
"Okay, so I booked us a suite"
Family Guy
"so that we can keep up the appearance of being married"
Family Guy
"but still sleep in separate rooms."
Family Guy
"Like John Krasinski and Emily Blunt?"
Family Guy
"Exactly."
Family Guy
"- (knocking) - Oh, pizza man's here."
Family Guy
"Do I look okay?"
Family Guy
"I know, that one has a mind of its own."
Family Guy
"Here's your pie. May I use your bathroom?"
Family Guy
"Absolutely. We'll be out here eating pizza"
Family Guy
"like we're in an '80s commercial."
Family Guy
"♪ ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Smile in your family's face ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ It's pizza night ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Eye contact with your son ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ He's gonna take a stringy bite ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ The obesity epidemic ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Was starting to take hold ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ So stuff your face with pizza ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Before it gets too cold ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Before it gets too cold, yeah! ♪"
Family Guy
"Pizza!"
Family Guy
"It's probably just the pizza talking,"
Family Guy
"but I love you guys."
Family Guy
"Um, the pizza guy's car is still running outside."
Family Guy
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