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Clips from Family Guy - The King Is Dead (S02E02)

""is violence in movies and sex on TV"
Family Guy
""He's a family guy""
Family Guy
"...as six members of the Pawtucket fire department struggled valiantly..."
Family Guy
"...to save a fish's life trapped under the frozen ice."
Family Guy
"They want me to be the new artistic director of the Quahog Players!"
Family Guy
"And such an attractive one."
Family Guy
"- It's already been invented. - Then how come I never heard of it?"
Family Guy
"Sorry, Lois. What's your news?"
Family Guy
"...Mr. Zucchini Head."
Family Guy
"He's got stupid cool hip-hop style with his little hat and his Doc Martens."
Family Guy
"Thank you, Peter, that's enough."
Family Guy
"I've seen enough. Inappropriate."
Family Guy
"I haven't had sex in ages."
Family Guy
"Gentlemen, I apologize for wasting your time."
Family Guy
"...but you'll be happy to know our company does not pay him to think."
Family Guy
"Michelangelo worked in a marble quarry."
Family Guy
"I call it "Smith's Theory of Relativity.""
Family Guy
"...you have to find a way to express yourself creatively."
Family Guy
"And Lois has her theater group."
Family Guy
"Yes. And for my first production, I've chosen The King and I."
Family Guy
"Look, I have to go."
Family Guy
"I know you can do it if you put your mind to it."
Family Guy
"- "And all..." - Why don't you sing Itsy Bitsy Spider?"
Family Guy
"How dare you reduce my finely hewn thespian stylings..."
Family Guy
"...to mere Mother Gooseries!"
Family Guy
"Hey, can somebody give me a hand with all this talent?"
Family Guy
"Then I tried sculpting."
Family Guy
"Lois, my penis belongs on stage."
Family Guy
"Hello, everybody."
Family Guy
""Marshall, Will, and Holly, on a routine expedition"
Family Guy
"Siamese baby? Stewie Griffin does not play bit parts!"
Family Guy
"- Hello. - What is that on your ear?"
Family Guy
"The King of Siam? Why, that's the lead!"
Family Guy
"- So, what? I had sex with you for nothing? - No, Peter, I..."
Family Guy
"By not using you to your full potential."
Family Guy
"Great news, Edgar Bronfman, Jr."
Family Guy
"I'm the king of the..."
Family Guy
"And one, two, three."
Family Guy
"Peter, Chris says you told him to build a set for the North Pole."
Family Guy
"Peter, the director decides whether or not to add a character."
Family Guy
"You're the producer, remember?"
Family Guy
"Good producers put their ideas to work outside the theater."
Family Guy
"- And that's creative? - Is it?"
Family Guy
"- You better be huge. - No, I'm Peter Griffin, producer."
Family Guy
"Who's the star?"
Family Guy
"Wow, I'm being interviewed by Diane Simmons!"
Family Guy
"- Really? - Peter."
Family Guy
"Our top story tonight. I will be playing the role of Anna..."
Family Guy
"I'm getting late word that you're a petty, jealous, closet case."
Family Guy
"Bit of breaking news. We now go live to Diane being a bitch. Diane?"
Family Guy
"Loretta's a nobody. Diane Simmons is a star."
Family Guy
"People who've never been in a theater will come see Diane Simmons."
Family Guy
"- You ever acted before, honey? - I did an independent film in college."
Family Guy
"They did an all-you-people version of Hello, Dolly that was very successful."
Family Guy
"Action!"
Family Guy
"Peter, what are you doing? She was wonderful."
Family Guy
"It just doesn't feel real, you know?"
Family Guy
"Anna and Miss Thing both love the king, right?"
Family Guy
"- Loretta, why don't you try slapping Diane? - I think I can do that."
Family Guy
"Wait a minute. Nobody's slapping anybody."
Family Guy
"- I don't know. - I thought you wanted to do a good show?"
Family Guy
"I thought we could dress her in a pair of sequined capri pants."
Family Guy
"...since Andrew Lloyd Webber!"
Family Guy
"What's going on?"
Family Guy
"The Siamese children. How about this? They're not children."
Family Guy
"Isn't he brilliant?"
Family Guy
"We sold out!"
Family Guy
"I am through selling out."
Family Guy
"Morning, theater fans!"
Family Guy
"...they'll produce Shakespeare."
Family Guy
"- "Carnation," "peony." - No, they did that on last week's Marlowe."
Family Guy
"- What about "daisy"? - "Chrysanthemum"!"
Family Guy
"- Moving on. - What about "tulip"?"
Family Guy
""Rose" is fine. Moving on."
Family Guy
"Okay, let's run this scene again."
Family Guy
"- Where does it say that? - In my noodle."
Family Guy
"We've been rehearsing for hours. I'm exhausted!"
Family Guy
"...with the soul and passion that can only come..."
Family Guy
"Thank you, Peter. I'll do it."
Family Guy
"Su-su-sudio. Su-su-sudio."
Family Guy
"Jeez, full house."
Family Guy
"A bitch."
Family Guy
"Siam, 2015 AD."
Family Guy
"The city lies in ruins after the ninth nuclear World War."
Family Guy
"It is a grim future with lots of explosions and partial nudity."
Family Guy
"...who is here to destroy you and free this land from your tyranny."
Family Guy
"I have been expecting you, ANNA. Let me introduce my Siamese children."
Family Guy
"...with your all-female sex orgy."
Family Guy
""Because I kicked all the bad guys in their jewels"
Family Guy
""Just as surely as Paul Lynde was gay""
Family Guy
"Stop it! Stop clapping right now! What's wrong with you?"
Family Guy
"These people shouldn't be encouraged! They should be punished!"
Family Guy
"...that's turning our society into a cultural wasteland!"
Family Guy
"- Yeah, I bet it is. - And it's all thanks to you."
Family Guy
"...if you hadn't believed in me."
Family Guy
"But anyone who could take The King and I and turn it into that is..."
Family Guy
"...but I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you get your chance next year."
Family Guy
""But where are those good, old-fashioned values"
Family Guy
""Lucky there's a family guy"
Family Guy
""all the things that make us"
Family Guy
"Rescue workers got the fish out of the water..."
Family Guy
"Diane?"
Family Guy
"Tom, another life was tragically cut short today."
Family Guy
"Robert Kimble, founder of a local theater group known as the Quahog Players..."
Family Guy
"...passed away this afternoon."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God!"
Family Guy
"...most recently, Miss Saigon."
Family Guy
""La la la la la, Miss Saigon"
Family Guy
"Okay, I'll do it."
Family Guy
"All those years of paying my dues as musical director..."
Family Guy
"...under that old hack have finally paid off."
Family Guy
"Lois, congratulations."
Family Guy
"Brian, you'll have to audition just like everyone else."
Family Guy
"Lois!"
Family Guy
"- I can paint scenery. - Can I be in the show, Mom?"
Family Guy
"Yes, you can be the dumpy teenager who stays backstage and cries..."
Family Guy
"...because nobody finds her attractive."
Family Guy
"- Hey, you guys. - Peter, guess what? I am gonna..."
Family Guy
"Me first! Mr. Weed said whoever comes up with the best idea..."
Family Guy
"...for the big Christmas toy this year gets a huge bonus."
Family Guy
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