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Clips from Family Guy - The Story on Page One (S02E02)

"We now return to "Sherry and the Anus"."
Family Guy
"- Anus, are you still up? - Yeah, come on in, sis."
Family Guy
"You're the best."
Family Guy
"It seems today that all you see"
Family Guy
"But where are those good old-fashioned values"
Family Guy
"On which we used to rely?"
Family Guy
"He's a family guy"
Family Guy
"Yes. Yes, it is."
Family Guy
"Oh, I haven't been on a college campus in years."
Family Guy
"- Everything seems so different. - Really?"
Family Guy
"Why don't you come back in about 17 years?"
Family Guy
"This is a one-of-a-kind item, a super-mega death ray."
Family Guy
"It can enslave the human race. Come on. It's solid titanium."
Family Guy
"- Nope? - D'oh!"
Family Guy
"I'm tired of being small."
Family Guy
"I wish I was big."
Family Guy
"Blast!"
Family Guy
"I never wanted to call her Meg."
Family Guy
"- We're not having dinner. - Then be quiet."
Family Guy
"- You ain't getting this meat. This is my meat. - Shut up. I found this meat."
Family Guy
"Attagirl. And I got your first story right here."
Family Guy
"Lois, I challenge you to a race around the world."
Family Guy
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
Family Guy
"I'm looking for something like the spread in last month's Vanity Fair."
Family Guy
"Look, Neil, I need an activity to get into Brown. The paper is my last hope."
Family Guy
"Run, little rabbit, run. But some day our two worlds will be one."
Family Guy
"- Excuse me, Mayor? - How do you know my language?"
Family Guy
"- What about my interview? - Mayor West asked me to give you this."
Family Guy
"That's why I started Stewie's Big and Tall Man Shop. If you're portly or tall,"
Family Guy
"you'll find a friendly atmosphere brimming with personalised and expert service."
Family Guy
"- Hey, Stewie, how's the weather up there? - Very fair... like our prices."
Family Guy
"Hey, dude. You want some of these?"
Family Guy
"They're crafty, I tell you. It happens when you least expect it."
Family Guy
"You can't print that! It'll compromise my entire investigation!"
Family Guy
"- I'm Chris. - Eviscerate the proletariat."
Family Guy
"Eviscerate the proletariat!"
Family Guy
"No! No."
Family Guy
"All my cunning."
Family Guy
"Duh-duh!"
Family Guy
"Argh!"
Family Guy
"- Luke! Time for dinner! - In a minute, babe."
Family Guy
"- I love Luke Perry. - Meg, you're wasting your time."
Family Guy
"- One minute to curtain, Jewel. - Jewel! Jewel!"
Family Guy
"I just wanted you to have something to put on your transcript."
Family Guy
"Thanks to you I can put that I'm a big liar who makes up stories about people."
Family Guy
"It worked for Walter Cronkite... You know that Vietnam thing? Never happened."
Family Guy
"Ponies like food, don't they? Oh, boy."
Family Guy
"I'm yanking you. You just rot in the ground."
Family Guy
"Good day, shopkeep."
Family Guy
"Who the deuce are you? No, I don't have any spare change."
Family Guy
"Oh, bloody hell. Is this thing still on?"
Family Guy
"Argh!"
Family Guy
"How is he gonna recognise us? He doesn't know who we are."
Family Guy
"Gee, the sun seems really strong, even for my already-bronzed skin."
Family Guy
"Oh, my muscles are all... Look, they're all shiny with oil."
Family Guy
"Ah, this is gonna take drastic measures. All right, get the camera ready. Oh, Luke!"
Family Guy
"- We have a picture of Luke Perry vomiting. - That's no good."
Family Guy
"They have been ever since they first came here from France."
Family Guy
"Now, that's not true. Libel's not a felony."
Family Guy
"That scene where you wanted to get on the plane and that dumb guy was screaming."
Family Guy
"Every time I see that lame-o actor I put your head on his body."
Family Guy
"Thanks. It's nice to meet someone who appreciates my work."
Family Guy
"Huh?"
Family Guy
"Dark Side of the Moon synchs up with The Wizard of Oz."
Family Guy
"Really? Shannen Doherty told me that but I thought she was just being a bitch."
Family Guy
"- Sex with another man. - Whoa! Look, if you're gay, that's cool."
Family Guy
"I should've figured you were up to something."
Family Guy
"If I do this, do you promise to stop stealing my water?"
Family Guy
"Have you ever had to tell a lie in order to keep a friend?"
Family Guy
"Well, the other day I told Jane her blouse was pretty when it was really pee-ew."
Family Guy
"Anus, I'm serious."
Family Guy
"Look, sometimes it's better to tell a little fib than to hurt someone's feelings."
Family Guy
"Oh, that was good."
Family Guy
"Funnier than the one where Anus got the hamster stuck in his mouth."
Family Guy
"Is violence in movies and sex on TV"
Family Guy
"Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make us"
Family Guy
"Laugh and cry"
Family Guy
"Ah, the old alma mater. I tell you, there's something magical about Brown."
Family Guy
"Brown's the colour of poo!"
Family Guy
"If you laid on your back with your ankles behind your ears that would ring a bell."
Family Guy
"Excuse me. We're here to see the dean."
Family Guy
"Nobody sees the dean. Not nobody, not nohow."
Family Guy
"I'm sorry. Can I help you?"
Family Guy
"Yes, this is Meg Griffin. She's here to see the dean of admissions"
Family Guy
"and we'd, uh, like it if she got into the university."
Family Guy
"- Go on. Take it. - Wait over there."
Family Guy
"My days in college were so exciting."
Family Guy
"This one time the National Guard came and shot some of my friends."
Family Guy
"You must be the Griffins. Come in."
Family Guy
"Oops. Honey, you got a little smudge."
Family Guy
"Hey, you got something on your other cheek too."
Family Guy
"- And this is Pembroke Quad. - Oh, very nice. Very Brideshead Revisited."
Family Guy
"Being on this campus really brings back memories."
Family Guy
"Cowards!"
Family Guy
"What ho? A veritable bevy of co-eds."
Family Guy
"Um... the recent campus sporting event was most disappointing for our side, wasn't it?"
Family Guy
"Oh, aren't you adorable? Are you in a fraternity, little boy?"
Family Guy
"Not yet, but I'm thinking about joining I Phelta Thi."
Family Guy
"Oh."
Family Guy
"If I remember correctly, this is the physics department."
Family Guy
"That explains all the gravity."
Family Guy
"I say! It's like the spice rack in my fantasy kitchen!"
Family Guy
"Hold on, little fella! This is just for big people."
Family Guy
"But the shelf life of that Sodium Pentothal is only two years and..."
Family Guy
"Blast! This isn't the first time I've been thwarted by my small stature."
Family Guy
"OK, our next lot is number 15 in your programme."
Family Guy
"It's got the power to enslave the entire human race. Do we have an opening bid?"
Family Guy
"Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!"
Family Guy
"- Anything? - Ooh! Ooh!"
Family Guy
"- We'll take any bid. - Here!"
Family Guy
"- Do I hear $100? $5? - Oh, come on."
Family Guy
"- Yeah! Ooh! - Free?"
Family Guy
"- Enslave the human race. - Behind the fat chick!"
Family Guy
"OK."
Family Guy
"Ooh! Ooh!"
Family Guy
"Well, let's take a look at your transcript."
Family Guy
""Meg." Hm."
Family Guy
"That's not very impressive."
Family Guy
"It's just three letters. It's hardly a name at all."
Family Guy
"I wanted to call her Twiki. But Lois said kids now wouldn't get the reference."
Family Guy
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