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Clips from Family Guy - Death Has a Shadow (S01E01)

"Man!"
Family Guy
"That'll teach him."
Family Guy
"No, thanks. See, that's the worst we got is Jemima's Witnesses."
Family Guy
"Mom, my lips are too thin. Can I please get collagen injections?"
Family Guy
"Meg, you don't need to change the way you look."
Family Guy
"Damn you, vile woman!"
Family Guy
"Very well, then."
Family Guy
"Mom, can I turn the heat up?"
Family Guy
"Don't touch the thermostat, Meg. Your father gets upset."
Family Guy
"- Yeah, it's all right. - Is my kid over here?"
Family Guy
"Peter, it's 7:00 and you've still got your pants on. What's the occasion?"
Family Guy
"...with festering boils all over his body."
Family Guy
"And then there was that time at the ice cream store."
Family Guy
"Funny guy, Tom Hanks. Everything he says is a stitch."
Family Guy
"Who wants to play Drink The Beer?"
Family Guy
"Right here."
Family Guy
"Listen, Ilsa. If I take this thing out..."
Family Guy
"...and you're not on it, you'll regret it. Not today or tomorrow."
Family Guy
"Meg, finish your pancakes."
Family Guy
"I could've broken my neck."
Family Guy
"I'm glad he's on our side!"
Family Guy
"Are you sleeping on the job?"
Family Guy
"Boy! A Pound Poochie!"
Family Guy
"Your negligence has damaged this company's reputation."
Family Guy
"- Way to go, Dad! Fight the machine! - How do you know about the machine?"
Family Guy
"Can we put her out in the yard for a while?"
Family Guy
"Okay, who's hungry?"
Family Guy
"Jeez. How the hell am I gonna break this to Lois?"
Family Guy
"I feel great! I haven't got a job in the world."
Family Guy
"All right, then let's eat."
Family Guy
"No, damn it! Take 26!"
Family Guy
"Then I had that job as the sneeze guard for that restaurant's salad bar."
Family Guy
"...but you might want to tell Lois the truth."
Family Guy
"Eventually, she'll find out where you're going every day."
Family Guy
"I'll need the checkbook in the morning."
Family Guy
"- Sorry, man. Am I late? What did I miss? - Thank God you're here. What do I do?"
Family Guy
"I promise you, everything's fine. You got nothing to worry about."
Family Guy
"Stewie, I thought I tucked you in an hour ago."
Family Guy
"You can play tomorrow, honey."
Family Guy
"I told her she was fat."
Family Guy
"It's the best way to keep her from the truth."
Family Guy
"You have no choice. Your unemployment will dry up soon."
Family Guy
"What the hell was that?"
Family Guy
"Let's see. $150 a week."
Family Guy
"No, I haven't seen Peter all afternoon."
Family Guy
"I was giving a piano lesson."
Family Guy
"Why don't you burn in hell?"
Family Guy
"Who would've thought getting drunk would get me..."
Family Guy
"Probably because you're so fat."
Family Guy
"What? You're gonna spend $150,000 a week?"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God! Peter, you bought the statue of David?"
Family Guy
"The kind of raise that'll allow me to give my kids a big allowance..."
Family Guy
"You know how I always said you should be treated like a queen?"
Family Guy
"This is great."
Family Guy
"Thank you, Daddy!"
Family Guy
"But did you have to buy breast implants for Chris?"
Family Guy
"When did you get a pool?"
Family Guy
"I know it's silly..."
Family Guy
"It does keep the Black Knight at bay."
Family Guy
"The man I married would never think he could fix a problem..."
Family Guy
"The air is electric here at Super Bowl XXXIII tonight!"
Family Guy
"I'm being told it's a man and his dog throwing cash out of a blimp."
Family Guy
"I don't care what it is! That guy's ruining a perfectly good game of football!"
Family Guy
"- Madden to Fox Security. - Go ahead."
Family Guy
"Take them down! Yes, sir."
Family Guy
"If every woman dumped her husband..."
Family Guy
"...of telling you you shouldn't cover for your father's lie."
Family Guy
"It means you're becoming a man."
Family Guy
"Now, I offer one last chance for deliverance."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God!"
Family Guy
"Lois, am I glad to see you."
Family Guy
"I figured the sooner I cashed the check..."
Family Guy
"All right. Now I want you boys to scream real loud at my ass."
Family Guy
"And everybody learns a valuable lesson."
Family Guy
"Mr. Griffin, have you learned a lesson?"
Family Guy
"And she deserves better."
Family Guy
"I'm sentencing you to 24 months in prison."
Family Guy
"But I know he only accepted that money..."
Family Guy
"- Yes. - All right!"
Family Guy
""She sells seashells down by the seashore.""
Family Guy
"She sells seashells down by the..."
Family Guy
"That is kind of a tongue twister."
Family Guy
"I sure am gonna miss being rich."
Family Guy
"Okay, I mean sexual harassment suit."
Family Guy
"Peter! What?"
Family Guy
"Take it outside, lady."
Family Guy
"I thought you people were supposed to be jolly."
Family Guy
"These are cool."
Family Guy
"Amazing. You can barely drive a car. Yet you were allowed to fly a blimp?"
Family Guy
"I love you too, honey."
Family Guy
"24 months in prison? Unacceptable! Intolerable as it may be..."
Family Guy
"- Hell, you've learned your lesson, right? - Yeah."
Family Guy
"- They live in a crummy neighborhood. - The Bradys?"
Family Guy
"You never know what you're going to get."
Family Guy
"When was the last time you saw your toes?"
Family Guy
"You can't hold onto that thing to save your life."
Family Guy
"You really oughta think of your family's welfare."
Family Guy
"He's going to a stag party."
Family Guy
"- You win. - All right. What do I win?"
Family Guy
"Hello, Mother. Hi there, sweetie."
Family Guy
"Mom, Dad, I found cigarettes in Greg's jacket."
Family Guy
"- Greg, were you smoking cigarettes? - No, Dad."
Family Guy
"He's lying. There's no doubt about that."
Family Guy
"Greg, I'm afraid your punishment will be four hours in the snakepit."
Family Guy
"That'll give you time to think about what you did."
Family Guy
"Jan, I'm afraid you've earned a day in the fire chamber..."
Family Guy
"...for tattling on your brother."
Family Guy
"Smoking. How does a boy like that go so wrong?"
Family Guy
"Yeah. They got robbers, thugs, drug dealers. You name it."
Family Guy
"You folks want some pancakes?"
Family Guy
""It seems today that all you see"
Family Guy
""is violence in movies and sex on TV"
Family Guy
""on which we used to rely?"
Family Guy
""Lucky there's a family guy"
Family Guy
""Lucky there's a man who'll positively tell you"
Family Guy
""all the things that make us"
Family Guy
""laugh 'n' cry"
Family Guy
""He's a family guy""
Family Guy
"You know, most of the world's problems stem from poor self-image."
Family Guy
"Excellent! The mind-control device is nearing completion!"
Family Guy
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