You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Family Guy - And I'm Joyce Kinney (S09E09)

"NARRATOR: Stewie Griffin, scientist, inventor, infant."
Family Guy
"Searching for a way to tap into the hidden strengths that all humans have."
Family Guy
"And now whenever Stewie Griffin grows angry or outraged,"
Family Guy
"a startling metamorphosis occurs."
Family Guy
"I hurt myself changing this tire!"
Family Guy
"NARRATOR: The creature is wanted for a murder he didn 't commit."
Family Guy
"And he must let the world think that he is dead,"
Family Guy
"I can't stand Iocal news."
Family Guy
"No, Brian. The new female anchor"
Family Guy
"(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) And this is April's Child ofthe Month,"
Family Guy
"JOYCE: Child ofthe Month, Angus Reed."
Family Guy
"Well, you never see a gray-haired one."
Family Guy
"Me, too. I didn't dress up not to be seen."
Family Guy
"-Let me kiss that belly. -Stop it!"
Family Guy
"-Cut it out! -I'm gonna give you a flubber kiss."
Family Guy
"I got a Iittle nervous."
Family Guy
"It's just, I Iike you so much."
Family Guy
"PIease turn to hymn number 487."
Family Guy
"Ifwe praise Jesus by singing all together"
Family Guy
"And examine it with some objectivity"
Family Guy
"LOIS: Vespers!"
Family Guy
"we will have the Sunday afternoon family picnic,"
Family Guy
"(LOIS LAUGHING OBNOXIOUSLY)"
Family Guy
"LOIS: Look out, Gallagher!"
Family Guy
"PETER: Stop kissing ass."
Family Guy
"-BIess you. Have a wonderful day. -Thank you, Father."
Family Guy
"Thank you, Lois."
Family Guy
"with the rummage sale for the needy Iast weekend."
Family Guy
"Can you believe?"
Family Guy
"and we're short about eight pies."
Family Guy
"I mean, Iook, there's a Iion in overalls on the aluminum foil."
Family Guy
"I mean, who is that for?"
Family Guy
"Excuse me, Miss Kinney?"
Family Guy
"with no one trying to murder me."
Family Guy
"Oh, well, that's very nice of you to say."
Family Guy
"You know, it's my first anchoring job, and I'm trying to make a good impression."
Family Guy
"You know, the news is so much better with you on it."
Family Guy
"I'd be happy to give you a tour."
Family Guy
"Oh, wait, wait. BILF. Total BILF."
Family Guy
"Yeah, so, going pretty good. I got six pacifiers now."
Family Guy
"saying that she brought the gun to the nightclub for protection."
Family Guy
"Oh, I almost forgot. That Iittle girl is still missing."
Family Guy
"So Iook out for a Puerto Rican."
Family Guy
"MAN: We're clear."
Family Guy
"Lois, you've met Tom Tucker."
Family Guy
"Oh, thank you. You know, half the time those things didn't really work."
Family Guy
"Yeah, that would be the ending to this day."
Family Guy
"In here is our editor, Mike."
Family Guy
"-What? -There's been a change!"
Family Guy
"NARRATOR: We now return to EIIen Only Talks When Her Guest Is Talking."
Family Guy
"-shooting in Louisiana. -I danced all over my house."
Family Guy
"all weekend. I think there 's, like, something in the air."
Family Guy
"Are you just gonna talk over"
Family Guy
"(ALL EXCLAIMING DISAPPROVAL)"
Family Guy
"who's going out for drinks with a celebrity tonight."
Family Guy
"They don't speak English, and they always mess up the order."
Family Guy
"So, could you please call me if it arrives? I'II give you my cell number."
Family Guy
"Okay. 401-555-1 125."
Family Guy
"Four, four, zero..."
Family Guy
"No, no, I was just repeating the four. One four."
Family Guy
"-Zero. -Zero..."
Family Guy
"-One. -One."
Family Guy
"Five. Five. Five."
Family Guy
"There you go, you got it."
Family Guy
"-One, five, five. -What?"
Family Guy
"I'm not giving you quantities of the numbers,"
Family Guy
"One, one."
Family Guy
"Yes! One, one, two, five. AII right, now, read the number back to me."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God, Joyce, you've got so many great stories."
Family Guy
"AII right, well, when I was in college, I was in an adult film."
Family Guy
"I promised my friend Joyce I'd watch the news tonight."
Family Guy
"FEMALE SINGER: Channel Five"
Family Guy
"We're with you through it all"
Family Guy
"Yes, local housewife and church organist Lois Griffin has revealed to this reporter"
Family Guy
"that she appeared in a pornographic movie back in the early 1980s."
Family Guy
"Huh? Would it not?"
Family Guy
"Evidently, Lois Griffin, star citizen of Quahog,"
Family Guy
"Ha!"
Family Guy
"How could you do that to me, Joyce?"
Family Guy
"Oh. Hello, Lois."
Family Guy
"We went to high school together, Lois?"
Family Guy
"Chemistry class? Freshman year? Joycie?"
Family Guy
"You're Joyce Chevapravatdumrong?"
Family Guy
"When you took the blindfold off, I was standing in front ofthe entire school"
Family Guy
"poorly through Facebook."
Family Guy
"It was back in a disgusting period known as the early '80s."
Family Guy
"while the curtains were billowing around them."
Family Guy
"I think there was actually more wind back then."
Family Guy
"because I maxed out all my credit cards buying a copy of E. T. at the video store."
Family Guy
"and a porn producer came in, and, well, the rest you know."
Family Guy
"Come on, guys, knock it off!"
Family Guy
"Yeah, Griffin, your mom's gross and nasty!"
Family Guy
"-You're a whore-daughter! -Yeah, Griffin gets it!"
Family Guy
"Leave this house of God!"
Family Guy
"Maybe you should've thought of that before you made a porn."
Family Guy
"Well, I mean, you'd either say, "You made porn," or "You made a porno.""
Family Guy
"Oh, God, have I been saying it wrong this whole time?"
Family Guy
"And what does it matter what those people in church think?"
Family Guy
"I mean, most of them are just random background people"
Family Guy
"we've never seen before anyway."
Family Guy
"Half of them don't even move, the other half just blink."
Family Guy
"What's that? Is that them Iittle fish that eat cows?"
Family Guy
"Hey, Lois, can I talk to you for a second?"
Family Guy
"And then he started making those jokes himself,"
Family Guy
""is available online.""
Family Guy
"Oh, Iook, everybody, it's the burning bush."
Family Guy
"You know, I've been coming to this church for years."
Family Guy
"I've heard all the stories."
Family Guy
"But the rest of you..."
Family Guy
"And here it is."
Family Guy
"I know I'm a man of God, but that shit is hot!"
Family Guy
"Then an accidental overdose of gamma radiation alters his body chemistry."
Family Guy
"Stewie Griffin is believed to be dead."
Family Guy
"until he can find a way to control the raging spirit that dwells within him."
Family Guy
"Oh, come on, can we please change the channel?"
Family Guy
"Good evening, I'm Joyce Kinney."
Family Guy
"eight-year-old Angus Reed."
Family Guy
"Angus was born with cerebral palsy."
Family Guy
"And his only wish is to one day become a famous heart surgeon."
Family Guy
"All I want to do is help people."
Family Guy
Show more clips