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Clips from Family Guy - Stuck Together, Torn Apart (S03E03)

""Lucky there's a family guy"
Family Guy
"Sausage-san. Plan to buy for samurai buddies."
Family Guy
"They got a great deal on pianos if you buy a four-pack. Meg, help me get these down."
Family Guy
"- Lois? - Oh, my gosh."
Family Guy
"Oh. Thank you."
Family Guy
"Ah, yes, there you are!"
Family Guy
"- What are you doing? Don't eat that. - For God's sake, don't be such a nerd."
Family Guy
"You got to buy the cooler, too. That's how they get you."
Family Guy
"But it takes two weeks for delivery."
Family Guy
"And when you went to that concert?"
Family Guy
"- Tattoo here will look out for the kidnappers. - Higgins."
Family Guy
"- What? - Oh, my God!"
Family Guy
"This van has the latest in law-enforcement technology. Watch."
Family Guy
"Suspect! Suspect! You have the right to remain silent!"
Family Guy
"Minority suspect! Minority suspect! Danger, he's got a gun!"
Family Guy
"Peter, isn't that Lois over there in that diner?"
Family Guy
"- Please! Where my eyes are half-closed? - God, just take the damn compliment!"
Family Guy
"- What is Lois doing with another man? - Is it possible she's a whore?"
Family Guy
"Oh, your wife and children are beautiful. It's so good to catch up, Ross. I'm glad I called."
Family Guy
"I'm glad you did, too. Was your husband OK with you coming?"
Family Guy
"Uh... Yes, he turned out to be just fine with it."
Family Guy
"Damn itch. I wonder who gave it to me."
Family Guy
"I'm cleaning myself."
Family Guy
"- Brenda? - Peter! Oh, my God. It's been 25 years!"
Family Guy
"- I owe that to my better half. - Who is it, sir?"
Family Guy
"You hungry?"
Family Guy
"Oh, crap."
Family Guy
"- I can't. - Just say it."
Family Guy
"I'm calling a marriage counsellor. I can't even have coffee with a friend!"
Family Guy
"Good! Embrace the fear! Dance with me, Lois. Dance the dance of life!"
Family Guy
"so I can observe your uncensored behaviour."
Family Guy
"I've compiled an accurate cross section of your home life. Here are the results."
Family Guy
"- Peter, give Chris a spanking. - OK."
Family Guy
"Chris, I'm watching the game. You know what to do."
Family Guy
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"
Family Guy
"This hurts me more than it hurts you. Ow!"
Family Guy
""Today he was out in the yard raking leaves. ""
Family Guy
"No. It's step, hip, step, pivot. Are you trying to piss off the volcano?"
Family Guy
"Mr and Mrs Griffin, what I'm about to suggest may seem unorthodox."
Family Guy
"- Date other people?! - Oh, my God!"
Family Guy
"to lighten the mood by blowing up a surgical glove with his nose."
Family Guy
"When is it gonna be my turn? Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"
Family Guy
"to see if it syncs up in a significant way."
Family Guy
"And so far, no. Nothing has."
Family Guy
"- Hello? - Is Peter there?"
Family Guy
"Oh, hi, Quagmire. No, Peter's not home."
Family Guy
"- Hey, Lois, you want to go out? - What? I don't know, Glen."
Family Guy
"Peter and I just separated. I feel like I need more time."
Family Guy
"I guess it's better to go out with you than some sex pervert."
Family Guy
"You should try a video dating service. That's how Muriel and I met."
Family Guy
"It takes an hour for the solvent to take effect."
Family Guy
"Thank you for being such a good friend and looking after me."
Family Guy
"- Oh. No, thanks. I'll be fine. - Please?"
Family Guy
"Honey! Come on out here and meet Peter Griffin."
Family Guy
"Hi. Peter Griffin. We can go anywhere except the disco. They don't let me in any more."
Family Guy
"All right, I'm gonna lower you in."
Family Guy
"- Thank God! - You said it."
Family Guy
"Martini for you and the usual roofie colada for your date?"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God! That's Jennifer Love Hewitt!"
Family Guy
"Oh, man! These all look good, every one of 'em."
Family Guy
"- You want some bread? - No!"
Family Guy
"Peter, is that you?"
Family Guy
"Peter?! Oh, no! I can't let him see me!"
Family Guy
"And I only saw Heartbreakers on a plane!"
Family Guy
"You better run, you little bitch!"
Family Guy
"- Good God! Are you all right? - Fine. Why do you ask?"
Family Guy
"I don't believe this."
Family Guy
"This 12-pack of fungicide is for my daughter Meg."
Family Guy
"Tell you what. If you change your mind, here's my card."
Family Guy
"Like that time at the movies?"
Family Guy
"TC, fly the chopper around the island. I'll talk to the women."
Family Guy
"Yeah, I'll do it when this is over."
Family Guy
"I haven't washed my hand since you touched it."
Family Guy
"He's gonna get us!"
Family Guy
"Our therapist has advised us to date other people."
Family Guy
"OK."
Family Guy
"It's burning my retinas."
Family Guy
"And I have never been more turned-on in my life."
Family Guy
"Ma'am, you dropped your napkin."
Family Guy
"We'll work on it later. I love you, Lois."
Family Guy
"I love you too, Peter."
Family Guy
"because it's our anniversary and the getting's good."
Family Guy
"That sign in the bathroom about washing your hands, that's for the staff, right?"
Family Guy
"Let me handle this."
Family Guy
"Mmm, delicious. I will seriously consider purchasing this product."
Family Guy
""Laugh and cry"
Family Guy
"Ladies, I'm a very desperate man."
Family Guy
"ENGLISH SDH"
Family Guy
"Mr and Mrs Griffin, I've reviewed your situation."
Family Guy
"He lured me to the park with promises of candy and funny stories."
Family Guy
"- He's funny. - Is it 1981?"
Family Guy
"Just on weekends? To help pay for her mom's dialysis? As in my fantasy?"
Family Guy
"You ordered a pie for an appetiser?"
Family Guy
"I'll go to the john and fire one out in five minutes. That should make room for dinner."
Family Guy
"- Here's your table, Mr Quagmire. - Thanks. How about drinks?"
Family Guy
"No, no, no. I wouldn't bring... A glass of wine."
Family Guy
"Wow! I wonder who she's here with. She could date any man she wanted to."
Family Guy
"It's OK, Quagmire. We're just doing what the therapist said to do."
Family Guy
"Peter, I think it's great you're out with Jennifer Love Hewitt."
Family Guy
"Hi. I loved you in Heartbreakers."
Family Guy
"You be on your best behaviour."
Family Guy
"- Here you go, sweetheart. Open up. - No!"
Family Guy
"That's it! You have got to be the most vile, disgusting human being I've ever met!"
Family Guy
"Hold on, toots! I don't care what our therapist says."
Family Guy
"I won't stand by and watch my husband lock lips with another woman! Beat it!"
Family Guy
"- What's your problem, grandma? - You are!"
Family Guy
"Wow. That was pretty cool, Lois."
Family Guy
"I guess I finally understand..."
Family Guy
"I guess I finally understand how you can get so jealous sometimes."
Family Guy
"Seeing her kiss you like that just made me crazy."
Family Guy
"I guess we're gonna have to learn to control our jealousy... together."
Family Guy
"Together."
Family Guy
"Here's your drink, sir."
Family Guy
"What a couple of freaks. God, I need a drink."
Family Guy
"Waiter! Martini and a roofie colada."
Family Guy
""Is violence in movies and sex on TV"
Family Guy
""But where are those good old-fashioned values"
Family Guy
""Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make us"
Family Guy
"Some of this stuff... you wonder who would need it in bulk."
Family Guy
"I mean, like watermelons."
Family Guy
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