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Clips from Family Guy - When You Wish Upon a Weinstein (S03E03)

"On which we used to rely?"
Family Guy
"Laugh and cry"
Family Guy
"Dad, can you help me with my math?"
Family Guy
"Mr Shackleford says if I don't learn it I won't be able to function in the real world."
Family Guy
"- Hello, sir. - Enough foreplay. What you sellin'?"
Family Guy
"- Go on. - So perhaps you'd be interested"
Family Guy
"who's a real whiz with volcanos, a volcano is coming this way."
Family Guy
"- How much is this volcano insurance? - I-I don't know. Let's say $200."
Family Guy
"- Come on. It never rains in Rhode Island. - Yeah, but we've never had a volcano either."
Family Guy
"- Agh! What the hell are you doing?! - Watching you sleep, cutie-pie."
Family Guy
"You shall watch no more!"
Family Guy
"OK, just a quick incision here and we should be all done, Mrs Wilson."
Family Guy
"- Luke, use the Force. - Really? Cos I was just gonna..."
Family Guy
"What is this? A poopy or a Toblerone?"
Family Guy
"We now return to "Girlfriends" on Lifetime."
Family Guy
"- Barry was over last night, and... - Don't tell me."
Family Guy
"Who, me? Yes, me. Couldn't be. Then who?"
Family Guy
"So, Bill, we attack tomorrow?"
Family Guy
"Except "Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made. ""
Family Guy
"She's got a point. You're the white version of a black guy who's not good with his money."
Family Guy
"He made some smart investments that really paid off."
Family Guy
"The noise was good, but I thought they phoned in a lot of the funk."
Family Guy
"Peter, not every Jewish person is good with money."
Family Guy
"For shock value? Jeez, Cleveland, there's edgy and there's offensive. Good day, sir!"
Family Guy
"I guess you can tell him I said hi. But don't make me sound desperate."
Family Guy
"Wondrous dancing speck of light"
Family Guy
"I need a Jew"
Family Guy
"Though by many they're abhorred"
Family Guy
"Hi. My name's Max Weinstein. My car just broke down. May I use your phone?"
Family Guy
"Hey!"
Family Guy
"Aaargh!"
Family Guy
"Hello?! Max Weinstein?"
Family Guy
"Man, I hate these things. Uh, yeah, hi, this is Peter Griffin. Sorry I missed you..."
Family Guy
"And down here in small print it says "He's signing it, he's signing it, I can't believe it. ""
Family Guy
"Refund this man's money and we'll go."
Family Guy
"- Tickler stickler ickler... - Ickler tickler..."
Family Guy
"- Where the hell is the remote? - Hey, honey, guess what?"
Family Guy
"Oh, honey! Oh, hello."
Family Guy
"This is my special friend Max Weinstein. He's Jewish."
Family Guy
"- You balanced our chequebook? - Yep. Isn't that right, Max?"
Family Guy
"I'm gonna call my mother right now and tell her to tell that chimp across the street..."
Family Guy
"- That's OK, Peter. - People have done that for too damn long!"
Family Guy
"exacerbated, instigated..."
Family Guy
"God, what was I thinking when I agreed to this?"
Family Guy
"Lois, I appreciate the marshmallow and fish casserole,"
Family Guy
"- He's gonna help with my math homework. - Chris, he's just a baby."
Family Guy
"- I mean, other than manual labour. - Peter! What a ridiculous thing to say."
Family Guy
"Like when he soiled himself at that dinner party."
Family Guy
"Uh-oh!"
Family Guy
"Thank you, but I can't stay. It's Friday. I've gotta go to Temple."
Family Guy
"Peter! Max, it was nice of you to invite us along."
Family Guy
"Your husband's got a good heart but his views on Judaism are misguided."
Family Guy
"It's not that I have ideological differences, I'm just not a hat person."
Family Guy
"Hey, I didn't know the principal of Meg's school was Jewish."
Family Guy
"But I hear you people have such lovely services."
Family Guy
"I-I didn't mean "Oh, my God" either."
Family Guy
"Uh-oh!"
Family Guy
"A fiddler on the roof. Sounds crazy, no?"
Family Guy
"But here in our little village of Anatevka, you might say each one of us..."
Family Guy
"- Hey. - He did it."
Family Guy
"Tell me this has nothing to do with Tony Robbins."
Family Guy
"- Could you sign this book, please? - Tony Robbins hungry!"
Family Guy
"No, Lois. I'm gonna make Chris Jewish."
Family Guy
"You can't just buy a Bar Mitzvah. It requires a lot of study."
Family Guy
"Right?"
Family Guy
"How shall I put this? In an attic somewhere there's a portrait of you getting prettier."
Family Guy
"Stewie, any parting words?"
Family Guy
"Where's your father and Chris? It's not like them to be late for lunch."
Family Guy
"Well, hel-Lois! Forgive me for pointing."
Family Guy
"Ah. Here they are."
Family Guy
"Chris!"
Family Guy
"We got us one o' them self-hatin' Jews."
Family Guy
"- And I think Chris will do just fine. - How do you know?"
Family Guy
"everything's gonna be OK."
Family Guy
"- I got back the money for Meg's glasses. - Really?"
Family Guy
"Oh dear. Sister Mary Joseph, it appears Peter Griffin has entered a synagogue."
Family Guy
"- Where are we going? - Son, it's too late for me, and Meg's a girl."
Family Guy
"Elliot here has spent years preparing for his Bar Mitzvah this Saturday."
Family Guy
"Um, you know, I got beat, pure and simple."
Family Guy
"What?!"
Family Guy
"Besides, there'll be plenty of time for that on the ride back."
Family Guy
"Mr Weinstein, I thought you were gonna help me with my homework."
Family Guy
"You-you are a very funny man."
Family Guy
"No, no! No, no, I don't think so."
Family Guy
"Lucky there's a family guy"
Family Guy
"Khan!"
Family Guy
"It seems today that all you see"
Family Guy
"Is violence in movies and sex on TV"
Family Guy
"But where are those good old-fashioned values"
Family Guy
"Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make us"
Family Guy
"He's a family guy"
Family Guy
"OK, you gotta go down the road past the old Johnson place."
Family Guy
"You're gonna find two roads, one parallel and one perpendicular."
Family Guy
"Keep goin' until you come to a highway that bisects it at a 45-degree angle."
Family Guy
"Solve for X."
Family Guy
"Maths. Huh!"
Family Guy
"Math, my dear boy, is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology."
Family Guy
"Well, I was gonna try to sell you some Handsome Cream,"
Family Guy
"but I can see you already bought out the store."
Family Guy
"in something every homeowner cannot be without: volcano insurance."
Family Guy
"- Go on. - According to my uncle,"
Family Guy
"Hm. I too have an uncle."
Family Guy
"Come in."
Family Guy
"$200?! That's more than I spent on all that Handsome Cream. I don't have it."
Family Guy
"- What about that jar of money? - No way. That's Lois's rainy-day fund."
Family Guy
"Well, don't you think we're overdue for one?"
Family Guy
"Why, you sick, sick little moo-cow!"
Family Guy
"- Stewie! - My glasses! I can't see a thing!"
Family Guy
"- Why won't you let me get laser surgery? - I just don't think it's safe."
Family Guy
"- Use the Force. - OK."
Family Guy
"- Are you happy? - I've never been happy."
Family Guy
"Oh, don't worry, honey. We'll get you a new pair tomorrow."
Family Guy
"And in the meantime here's a vision test."
Family Guy
"He left the toilet seat up."
Family Guy
"Oh, I ran into Frank. It's funny -"
Family Guy
"he fought in Vietnam, he's an exorcist, but there is one thing that terrifies him."
Family Guy
"Commitment!"
Family Guy
"Oh, Midge. You're my third best friend in the whole world."
Family Guy
"- Third? Who are the first two? - Ben and Jerry."
Family Guy
"Peter, did you take the money from the family jar?"
Family Guy
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