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Clips from Family Guy - Rock Hard (S20E20)

"♪ It seems today that all you see ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ But where are those good old‐fashioned values ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ On which we used to rely? ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ All the things that make us ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Laugh and cry ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪"
Family Guy
"Ah, the record store‐‐"
Family Guy
"full of the greatest albums of all time"
Family Guy
"and the employees who hate every one of 'em."
Family Guy
"Hey, do you have the Eagles' Greatest Hits?"
Family Guy
"Yeah. It's under "O" for "obvious.""
Family Guy
"And "overrated.""
Family Guy
"Thank you, bearded failures."
Family Guy
"You know, it's stores like this where you learn"
Family Guy
"about the real history of rock and roll,"
Family Guy
"not the watered‐down version you get in every movie"
Family Guy
"about a musician's life."
Family Guy
"Yeah, all those biopics are the same story:"
Family Guy
"unsupportive parents, hit song,"
Family Guy
"band turmoil..."
Family Guy
"Having giant horse teeth and dying of AIDS."
Family Guy
"All of 'em are exactly the same."
Family Guy
"Check out this section for the Doors."
Family Guy
"Jim Morrison is a legend,"
Family Guy
"whether we like it or not."
Family Guy
"He had the good sense to die"
Family Guy
"before we could see him at the Pechanga Casino and go,"
Family Guy
""Oh, my God, that's him?""
Family Guy
"♪"
Family Guy
"It was the '60s,"
Family Guy
"a time of great fateful missed Frisbee catches."
Family Guy
"The iconic band was formed one day"
Family Guy
"when Ray Manzarek met Jim Morrison on Venice Beach."
Family Guy
"Thanks! I'm Ray Manzarek. What's your name?"
Family Guy
"Jim Morrison. Light my fire."
Family Guy
"W‐Wait a minute, wait. What'd you just say?"
Family Guy
"Say that again."
Family Guy
"Light my fire?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, that! That could be a song"
Family Guy
"that's tolerated for generations!"
Family Guy
"What do you say you and I form a band?"
Family Guy
"A band? But this is the '60s."
Family Guy
"We don't have nearly enough floppy heads of hair to do that."
Family Guy
"Hey, you guys starting a band? Mind if we join?"
Family Guy
"Yes. You're both in."
Family Guy
"We are gonna be huge, you guys."
Family Guy
"And nothing's gonna get between us‐‐"
Family Guy
"not drugs or alcohol"
Family Guy
"or the first toxic relationship that comes my way."
Family Guy
"Look out! Easily manipulated runaway comin' through!"
Family Guy
"Screw you guys! I'm following that lady,"
Family Guy
"and there's nothing you can do about it!"
Family Guy
"I am the Doors!"
Family Guy
"Jim, be reasonable."
Family Guy
"We haven't even named ourselves that yet."
Family Guy
"Look, I'm gonna get right to it"
Family Guy
"and say I miss making music with you bastards."
Family Guy
"Thanks!"
Family Guy
"I'm Charles Manson. What's your name?"
Family Guy
"Jim Morrison. Kill Sharon Tate."
Family Guy
"Wait a minute. What did you just say?"
Family Guy
"Say that again."
Family Guy
"- ♪ - (humming)"
Family Guy
"♪ This is how women on drugs dance. ♪"
Family Guy
"Yeah."
Family Guy
"Jim Morrison. Love me two times."
Family Guy
"W‐Wait a minute. What'd you just say?"
Family Guy
"Say that again."
Family Guy
"Well, Jim, I'm flattered you broke into my home,"
Family Guy
"but I have a serious boyfriend and I think you should leave."
Family Guy
"But I'm a rock star!"
Family Guy
"And he's an astronaut."
Family Guy
"You know, unfortunately for you, this is the one time in history"
Family Guy
"where astronauts are cooler than rock stars."
Family Guy
"Well, I don't care. You're my muse,"
Family Guy
"and I'm moving in with my trash bags of bad poetry."
Family Guy
""The caterpillar‐‐"
Family Guy
""a tiny hair snake?"
Family Guy
"Nay. Because of his many, many legs.""
Family Guy
""The snake."
Family Guy
""A large, hairless caterpillar?"
Family Guy
"Nay. On account of no legs.""
Family Guy
""The snakeapillar...""
Family Guy
"Wow. Such a genius, huh?"
Family Guy
"Now, I do have a boyfriend,"
Family Guy
"but I'm also a free spirit."
Family Guy
"(quietly): That's my fun little way of sayin' I'm a slut."
Family Guy
"So, how'd you like to have sex with my kite‐sized woman weave?"
Family Guy
"Mm, it'll mesh perfectly with my giant nest of tight ringlets."
Family Guy
"(moaning)"
Family Guy
"LOIS: Oh, Jim."
Family Guy
"PETER: Call me the Lizard King."
Family Guy
"LOIS: (moans) Oh, Lizard King!"
Family Guy
"PETER: Yeah. Now call me Archduke Salamander,"
Family Guy
"Emperor of Newts."
Family Guy
"LOIS: (exhales) You're the Archduke..."
Family Guy
"PETER: Ah, I'm done."
Family Guy
"(Velcro ripping)"
Family Guy
"(giggles) Velcro."
Family Guy
"Just like my shoes."
Family Guy
"♪"
Family Guy
"Early on, Jim Morrison had terrible stage fright,"
Family Guy
"so he performed with his back to the crowd."
Family Guy
"The only thing that calmed his nerves"
Family Guy
"was what everyone was using back then,"
Family Guy
"Strawberry Nesquik."
Family Guy
"It upset his stomach terribly"
Family Guy
"because of his lactose intolerance,"
Family Guy
"a condition that would escalate to full‐on cream bigotry."
Family Guy
"Yeah, that's the stuff."
Family Guy
"♪"
Family Guy
"♪ And a one, two, three. ♪"
Family Guy
"- (stomach gurgles) - Uh‐oh."
Family Guy
"(flatulence)"
Family Guy
"(quietly): My fart's stuck in the pants."
Family Guy
"Well, get it out. We've got a show to do."
Family Guy
"(cheering)"
Family Guy
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