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Clips from Family Guy - I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar (S02E02)

"It seems today that all you see"
Family Guy
"On which we used to rely?"
Family Guy
"Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make us"
Family Guy
"Laugh and cry"
Family Guy
"I guarantee you a man made that commercial."
Family Guy
"Dad, we won a boat! We won a boat! Ha-ha!"
Family Guy
"I'll take it."
Family Guy
"Hello, China? I have something you may want, but it's gonna cost you."
Family Guy
"I can't wait to get my sea legs! Yeah!"
Family Guy
"Well, at least I'll be the fattest guy on Spooner Street to get a boat."
Family Guy
"Oh, man. Even Della Reese is getting a boat."
Family Guy
"Just beautiful homes and nothing else."
Family Guy
"like buy that time-share, or not realise I taped over our wedding video with soft-core porn."
Family Guy
"Wake up, dammit! Wake up!"
Family Guy
"Mr and Mrs... Griffin. If you sign this contract without reading it, I'll take your blank cheque,"
Family Guy
"You're acting like this is the first time I've ever done something stupid."
Family Guy
"It could even be a boat! You know how much we want one."
Family Guy
"- Let's... - We'll take the box."
Family Guy
"- Could you pass me the oar, N-word Jim. - Thank you."
Family Guy
"- Excuse me, sir. I haven't even... - That one was hilarious."
Family Guy
"- Peter! - You think this is easy?"
Family Guy
"You know what that stuff does? Huh?"
Family Guy
"Ah! You like a little abuse, huh?"
Family Guy
"Or lose. Whichever's funnier."
Family Guy
"well, you wouldn't be cooking very fast at all, now, would you? That one wasn't very good."
Family Guy
"They laughed because it looked like you peed yourself, not because they liked your jokes."
Family Guy
"you'd need an egg calendar! Ha-ha-ha!"
Family Guy
"They are devices built by the Lord Jesus Christ for our entertainment."
Family Guy
"I assure you, Peter will be there. His job depends on it."
Family Guy
"You are a valued member of our business team"
Family Guy
"You're a valued member of our business team and I will give you a raise tomorrow"
Family Guy
"- Nice ass. - You haven't heard a word I've said."
Family Guy
"Oh! Oh! They spotted me!"
Family Guy
"when I wish you were a little more sensitive."
Family Guy
"I'd like to welcome Peter Griffin, who's here to get in touch with his feminine side."
Family Guy
"But you are a beautiful person and I am here for you."
Family Guy
"You'd make more of a connection if you hugged her."
Family Guy
"OK, good, good. Now smell her a little."
Family Guy
"Trust your sisters. Jump into the trust quilt."
Family Guy
"Welcome back, Peter."
Family Guy
"- Well, what do you want? - Nothing. I just called to talk."
Family Guy
"- You think so? - I know so."
Family Guy
"One of these days I'm gonna need the mirror."
Family Guy
"- Remember? - Oh, my God. That reminds me."
Family Guy
"Well, as you may have noticed, Peter's been acting a little different lately."
Family Guy
"It was refreshing at first, but now... well, he doesn't even treat me like a woman any more."
Family Guy
"could help change Peter back to the way he was."
Family Guy
"If men were as caring as women, we wouldn't have crime or violence."
Family Guy
"Look, I don't care how many letters we gotta write. The View should be on for three hours."
Family Guy
"so a woman like you can become more than just a housewife."
Family Guy
"Excuse me?"
Family Guy
"Is violence in movies and sex on TV"
Family Guy
"Boy, that lotion sure feels good."
Family Guy
"- Sure is hot. - And it just got hotter."
Family Guy
"Here. Now let me do you."
Family Guy
"Pawtucket Patriot beer. If you buy it, hot women will have sex in your back yard."
Family Guy
"Typical male fantasy! Women drinking beer!"
Family Guy
"Of course a man made it. It's a commercial, Lois, not a delicious Thanksgiving dinner."
Family Guy
"Holy crap! We did! We won a free freakin' boat!"
Family Guy
"Dad, nobody gives things away for free."
Family Guy
"I know plenty of people who give things away."
Family Guy
"That's right. All the tea."
Family Guy
"I knew there was a catch. You have to sit through an awful time-share presentation."
Family Guy
"A small price to pay. I'm gonna be the first one on Spooner Street to have his own boat."
Family Guy
"Whoa! All hands on deck! I'm gettin' a boat!"
Family Guy
"Hey, Quagmire, I'm also getting a boat too."
Family Guy
"Right on! Whoo!"
Family Guy
"Hey, hey, hey! I'm gettin' a boat!"
Family Guy
"These wonderful homes on this beautifully secluded island"
Family Guy
"can be yours with almost no strings attached."
Family Guy
"Beautiful island. Nothing out of the ordinary here."
Family Guy
"Each residence has 200 feet of pristine ocean front."
Family Guy
"No city noise, no flesh-eating ogres, no pollution."
Family Guy
"I hate these high-pressure sales situations."
Family Guy
"That's so cute. You're just afraid that because you're a woman, you'll do something stupid,"
Family Guy
"- You taped over our wedding video? - Relax. I just taped over the boring stuff."
Family Guy
"The couple has written their own vows, which they will now recite."
Family Guy
"Peter, I..."
Family Guy
"Look, the only reason I got myself arrested was to find out what happened to my sister."
Family Guy
"Excuse me, ladies, it's laundry time."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God, Peter. I sent a copy of that tape to my great-aunt Lil."
Family Guy
"This wedding is hot!"
Family Guy
"and you won't not be not loving your time-share before you know it."
Family Guy
"We're not gonna buy your lousy time-share, all right? Now where's my boat?"
Family Guy
"Hold on! You have a choice."
Family Guy
"You can have the boat or the mystery box."
Family Guy
"- Are you crazy? We'll take the boat. - Not so fast, Lois."
Family Guy
"A boat's a boat, but the mystery box could be anything."
Family Guy
"It could even be a boat! You know how much we want one."
Family Guy
"- Let's... - We'll take the box."
Family Guy
""We'll take the box." You gave up a boat for free tickets to a crappy comedy club."
Family Guy
"Remember the time we went to get that boat?"
Family Guy
"A boat's a boat, but the mystery box could be anything."
Family Guy
"- Peter, that just happened ten minutes ago. - Who cares? I bet nobody took the boat."
Family Guy
"Who could resist the call of the mystery box?"
Family Guy
"Hey, look at me! I'm the man in the boat! All right!"
Family Guy
"- Joe, look to the right. It's the Griffins. - We're nautical now, baby."
Family Guy
"That's called starboard. But I'll forgive you cos you sex me up. Now give me some sugar."
Family Guy
"- Hey, neighbours! Where's your boat? - We didn't take the boat."
Family Guy
"We took the mystery box. Hop in."
Family Guy
"Hey, Quagmire, maybe the comedian will tell some jokes"
Family Guy
"about boats or boating or owning a boat."
Family Guy
"Yeah. Or maybe he'll tell some jokes about being a sucker."
Family Guy
"Oh, Quagmire, you're what the Spaniards call el terrible."
Family Guy
"Why are you upset? I never even knew you liked boats."
Family Guy
"Boating's in my blood. Ever since my great-grandfather, Huck Griffin,"
Family Guy
"rafted down the mighty Mississippi."
Family Guy
"- What did you just call me? - I... I thought that was your name."
Family Guy
"That is our word. You've got no right using it."
Family Guy
"Hey, hey, hey. I'm cool, I'm cool. No problem."
Family Guy
"This comic sucks! He couldn't make me laugh"
Family Guy
"even if I was laughing my ass off and he was making me do it. Huh?"
Family Guy
"- Come on, Skinny! Make me laugh! - Peter, that's a microphone stand."
Family Guy
"Oh, well, pardon me for thinking"
Family Guy
"a microphone stand in a comedy club should tell a joke or two."
Family Guy
"I guess I'm just old-fashioned that way."
Family Guy
"- Hi. Welcome to... - Ha-ha-ha-ha! Very funny!"
Family Guy
"That was even funnier than your first joke. Put Skinny back up there."
Family Guy
"- You wanna come up here and try this? - I thought you'd never ask."
Family Guy
"Maybe you shouldn't do this. You've never had a lot of luck telling jokes."
Family Guy
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