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Clips from Seinfeld - The Mom and Pop Store (S06E06)

TV Series 1989–1998 Season 6, Episode 8 22 min ★ 8.8/10 (390,457 ratings) 407 clips
Comedy
It kind of throws off the timing: Who's on first?
"It kind of throws off the timing: Who's on first?"
Seinfeld
I don't know.
"I don't know."
Seinfeld
Dear, who do you think is on first?
"Dear, who do you think is on first?"
Seinfeld
Whenever a friend starts with a new girlfriend, he should just say:
"Whenever a friend starts with a new girlfriend, he should just say:"
Seinfeld
- Is she not terrific? - She does have a way.
"- Is she not terrific? - She does have a way."
Seinfeld
Well, they do work on tips.
"Well, they do work on tips."
Seinfeld
The omelet. Damn.
"The omelet. Damn."
Seinfeld
Oh, no. It's Kenny Bania.
"Oh, no. It's Kenny Bania."
Seinfeld
- Hey, Jerry. - Hey, Kenny.
"- Hey, Jerry. - Hey, Kenny."
Seinfeld
- Elaine, George. - Hi.
"- Elaine, George. - Hi."
Seinfeld
- How's it going? - Great. I've been working out.
"- How's it going? - Great. I've been working out."
Seinfeld
Went from a size 40 to a 42.
"Went from a size 40 to a 42."
Seinfeld
- He's very generous, isn't he? - Yes. Yes, he is.
"- He's very generous, isn't he? - Yes. Yes, he is."
Seinfeld
- All right, I'll leave you alone. - Yeah, yeah.
"- All right, I'll leave you alone. - Yeah, yeah."
Seinfeld
What?
"What?"
Seinfeld
What?
"What?"
Seinfeld
It's proper to say pardon.
"It's proper to say pardon."
Seinfeld
Oh, it's just horse manure. Horse manure's not that bad.
"Oh, it's just horse manure. Horse manure's not that bad."
Seinfeld
I don't even mind the word manure.
"I don't even mind the word manure."
Seinfeld
...and a ma in front of it. Manure.
"...and a ma in front of it. Manure."
Seinfeld
You know, my boyfriend has the same one.
"You know, my boyfriend has the same one."
Seinfeld
- He's a real watch freak. - Well, how about that?
"- He's a real watch freak. - Well, how about that?"
Seinfeld
- Oh, look out. You stepped right in it. - Yes. I sure did.
"- Oh, look out. You stepped right in it. - Yes. I sure did."
Seinfeld
So you just pretended it didn't bother you?
"So you just pretended it didn't bother you?"
Seinfeld
...didn't like the looks of the defense and changed the play.
"...didn't like the looks of the defense and changed the play."
Seinfeld
You know, you have a nure with a ma in front of it.
"You know, you have a nure with a ma in front of it."
Seinfeld
And it was around this point she mentioned the boyfriend?
"And it was around this point she mentioned the boyfriend?"
Seinfeld
Yeah.
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
...and puts a positive spin on it.
"...and puts a positive spin on it."
Seinfeld
So you don't think she really has a boyfriend.
"So you don't think she really has a boyfriend."
Seinfeld
Yeah. Well, I'll tell you, she's a full-figured gal.
"Yeah. Well, I'll tell you, she's a full-figured gal."
Seinfeld
- Is she? - Oh, you better believe it, buddy.
"- Is she? - Oh, you better believe it, buddy."
Seinfeld
Best swordfish in the city. The best, Jerry.
"Best swordfish in the city. The best, Jerry."
Seinfeld
Hey, I give you a brand-new Armani suit...
"Hey, I give you a brand-new Armani suit..."
Seinfeld
- I'm just curious. - A bowl, okay?
"- I'm just curious. - A bowl, okay?"
Seinfeld
- Hi, Simon. This is Jerry. - Hello.
"- Hi, Simon. This is Jerry. - Hello."
Seinfeld
- So is she working? Is she here? - Yeah, yeah, she's here.
"- So is she working? Is she here? - Yeah, yeah, she's here."
Seinfeld
It doesn't matter. This is it. This completes the transaction.
"It doesn't matter. This is it. This completes the transaction."
Seinfeld
- Hi. - Hi.
"- Hi. - Hi."
Seinfeld
Fortunately, he has no money and no prospects.
"Fortunately, he has no money and no prospects."
Seinfeld
- Elaine, here's the car keys. - Thanks.
"- Elaine, here's the car keys. - Thanks."
Seinfeld
- Yep. - Listen, Jerry.
"- Yep. - Listen, Jerry."
Seinfeld
- Hey. - Hey.
"- Hey. - Hey."
Seinfeld
Really?
"Really?"
Seinfeld
They'll make it for you.
"They'll make it for you."
Seinfeld
I can bring you two small salads.
"I can bring you two small salads."
Seinfeld
She's on your turf.
"She's on your turf."
Seinfeld
I mean, I know how to get myself fired.
"I mean, I know how to get myself fired."
Seinfeld
How do I get someone else fired?
"How do I get someone else fired?"
Seinfeld
Well, you gotta have something. I can't go back in there with no food.
"Well, you gotta have something. I can't go back in there with no food."
Seinfeld
She expecting something, Jerry.
"She expecting something, Jerry."
Seinfeld
Boy, he's a real bounder, isn't he?
"Boy, he's a real bounder, isn't he?"
Seinfeld
Thank God. I don't have to do this anymore.
"Thank God. I don't have to do this anymore."
Seinfeld
I told you, she's busy.
"I told you, she's busy."
Seinfeld
Tell your boyfriend to stop calling here.
"Tell your boyfriend to stop calling here."
Seinfeld
He's trying to get me in trouble.
"He's trying to get me in trouble."
Seinfeld
Well, hello. Here you are, as promised.
"Well, hello. Here you are, as promised."
Seinfeld
- When are you leaving? - Are you trying to get rid of me?
"- When are you leaving? - Are you trying to get rid of me?"
Seinfeld
How do I look?
"How do I look?"
Seinfeld
If a friend gets involved in a relationship, it affects your friendship.
"If a friend gets involved in a relationship, it affects your friendship."
Seinfeld
I look like the person you used to know...
"I look like the person you used to know..."
Seinfeld
...but I've been modified to survive in this relationship.
"...but I've been modified to survive in this relationship."
Seinfeld
In other words, if we're having an argument and she's there...
"In other words, if we're having an argument and she's there..."
Seinfeld
...I may say, 'I totally disagree with you. '
"...I may say, 'I totally disagree with you. '"
Seinfeld
But what that means is:
"But what that means is:"
Seinfeld
'I'd like to help you out, but I'd rather continue to see her naked. '
"'I'd like to help you out, but I'd rather continue to see her naked. '"
Seinfeld
Okay, cowboys, what will you have?
"Okay, cowboys, what will you have?"
Seinfeld
I'll have the turkey club without the bacon.
"I'll have the turkey club without the bacon."
Seinfeld
And I'll have the bacon club without the turkey.
"And I'll have the bacon club without the turkey."
Seinfeld
George, don't make me get tough with you.
"George, don't make me get tough with you."
Seinfeld
Why? You think you can beat me up?
"Why? You think you can beat me up?"
Seinfeld
You wouldn't want me to mess up that beautiful face of yours.
"You wouldn't want me to mess up that beautiful face of yours."
Seinfeld
Stop it. Stop it.
"Stop it. Stop it."
Seinfeld
You don't want bacon. I'll surprise you.
"You don't want bacon. I'll surprise you."
Seinfeld
You think she thinks I have a beautiful face?
"You think she thinks I have a beautiful face?"
Seinfeld
George, don't make me get tough with you.
"George, don't make me get tough with you."
Seinfeld
Who says that? She is really cool.
"Who says that? She is really cool."
Seinfeld
What do you think? You think she likes me?
"What do you think? You think she likes me?"
Seinfeld
I should've got the egg-white omelet.
"I should've got the egg-white omelet."
Seinfeld
Why should she like me? Who am I? There's a million people to like.
"Why should she like me? Who am I? There's a million people to like."
Seinfeld
Maybe she could like me. Is it that far-fetched?
"Maybe she could like me. Is it that far-fetched?"
Seinfeld
Maybe she sees something. Is it possible?
"Maybe she sees something. Is it possible?"
Seinfeld
- No. Not possible. - No. Not possible.
"- No. Not possible. - No. Not possible."
Seinfeld
- Hey. - Hey, Laney.
"- Hey. - Hey, Laney."
Seinfeld
- How was the trip? - What trip? You were gone?
"- How was the trip? - What trip? You were gone?"
Seinfeld
I went to England.
"I went to England."
Seinfeld
- How was it? - Actually, it was great.
"- How was it? - Actually, it was great."
Seinfeld
I met an Englishman, and we really hit it off.
"I met an Englishman, and we really hit it off."
Seinfeld
Well, that relationship has obviously got a lot of potential.
"Well, that relationship has obviously got a lot of potential."
Seinfeld
Yeah, well, Jerome...
"Yeah, well, Jerome..."
Seinfeld
...I happen to be flying him in on my frequent-flier miles.
"...I happen to be flying him in on my frequent-flier miles."
Seinfeld
Flying him in? How long is he staying for?
"Flying him in? How long is he staying for?"
Seinfeld
It's an open-ended ticket. He can return anytime he wants.
"It's an open-ended ticket. He can return anytime he wants."
Seinfeld
All this in five days.
"All this in five days."
Seinfeld
- Who's he? - He's this awful comedian.
"- Who's he? - He's this awful comedian."
Seinfeld
- No kidding? - Yeah. I'm huge.
"- No kidding? - Yeah. I'm huge."
Seinfeld
- Well, I'll leave you guys alone. - Okay, thanks.
"- Well, I'll leave you guys alone. - Okay, thanks."
Seinfeld
Oh, Jerry, you know what just hit me? I was thinking...
"Oh, Jerry, you know what just hit me? I was thinking..."
Seinfeld
- What size suit are you? - I'm a 40. Why?
"- What size suit are you? - I'm a 40. Why?"
Seinfeld
I just got a brand-new Armani suit, doesn't fit me anymore. You want it?
"I just got a brand-new Armani suit, doesn't fit me anymore. You want it?"
Seinfeld
Well, I don't know if...
"Well, I don't know if..."
Seinfeld
Oh, come on. Why should it sit in a closet?
"Oh, come on. Why should it sit in a closet?"
Seinfeld
- An Armani suit? - Take the suit.
"- An Armani suit? - Take the suit."
Seinfeld
- You gonna be home later? - Yeah.
"- You gonna be home later? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
I'll drop it off.
"I'll drop it off."
Seinfeld
- Hey, new suit! - Yeah, yeah. Lucky me.
"- Hey, new suit! - Yeah, yeah. Lucky me."
Seinfeld
Here, I personally made you a cold chicken sandwich.
"Here, I personally made you a cold chicken sandwich."
Seinfeld
It's not even on the menu.
"It's not even on the menu."
Seinfeld
Oh, this is fabulous.
"Oh, this is fabulous."
Seinfeld
Boy, she is nice.
"Boy, she is nice."
Seinfeld
I like her. I like her, Jerry. She's got substance.
"I like her. I like her, Jerry. She's got substance."
Seinfeld
She oozes substance.
"She oozes substance."
Seinfeld
Well, go in there and talk to her.
"Well, go in there and talk to her."
Seinfeld
She's not gonna put them on the glass.
"She's not gonna put them on the glass."
Seinfeld
You mean the walk back in?
"You mean the walk back in?"
Seinfeld
That's the toughest move in the business.
"That's the toughest move in the business."
Seinfeld
You're sending me into no man's land...
"You're sending me into no man's land..."
Seinfeld
...and if I get shot down, I have to crawl back.
"...and if I get shot down, I have to crawl back."
Seinfeld
Well, I can't do it, I tell you!
"Well, I can't do it, I tell you!"
Seinfeld
Pull yourself together. You're going in there, soldier.
"Pull yourself together. You're going in there, soldier."
Seinfeld
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