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Clips from Seinfeld - The Pitch (S04E04)

"He's got the three-cornered hat, knickers..."
Seinfeld
"...and the Def Leppard shirt."
Seinfeld
"...they go, So what? Neither do I."
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"All right, get up to your room. I've had it."
Seinfeld
"For the rest of this weekend. Did you hear me? Amish."
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"...shows you the battlefield, gives you a bit of the history."
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"- About three hours. - Tommy, you're on."
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"- Then what did they do? - I don't know."
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"They should have a toilet-paper museum. Would you like that?"
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"- Hi. Jay Crespi. - Hello."
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"- C-R-E-S-P-I. - That's right."
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"- Give give me a last name. - I'm not-"
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"George."
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"...and you get involved in their lives."
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"- Why not? - So someone comes in..."
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"- No, they're not. They used to be. - Oh, sure."
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"- Like you know. - Oh, like you do."
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"Look at the characters. You got all these freaks in the show."
Seinfeld
"You got the tallest man in the world. A guy who's just a head."
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"Oh, come on, Jerry. You're wrong. People, they wanna watch freaks."
Seinfeld
"I got the helmet. Go get the radar detector."
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"- Yeah. Sure. - Of course."
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"I had a girlfriend."
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"Hey, you know you're getting gypped over here."
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"All right. Give it to me."
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"I got a postcard from Elaine."
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"What do you need salsa for?"
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"Salsa is now the number-one condiment in America."
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"Do you know why?"
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"You know, it must be impossible for a Spanish person..."
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"You have the seltzer after the salsa."
Seinfeld
"No, I'm really serious. I think that's a good idea."
Seinfeld
"- You gotta have a story. - Who says you gotta have a story?"
Seinfeld
"So on the show there's a character named George Costanza?"
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"Now, he's a character."
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"Right."
Seinfeld
"You wanna go with me to NBC?"
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"- What do we got? - An idea."
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"We'll do nothing."
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"- I say, Nothing. - There you go."
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"What do you mean, you don't you think so?"
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"- I don't like it. - I don't understand."
Seinfeld
"You can do it on one condition."
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"- You can't play Kramer. - I am Kramer."
Seinfeld
"With a series of beeps and flashing lights."
Seinfeld
"Do you have any salsa?"
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"Fine. Very good."
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"They're men with jobs, Jerry!"
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"They're married. They have secretaries!"
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"This guy's a writer. He's a total nut."
Seinfeld
"That's my friend, George."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, you wanna hit me?"
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"No, I'm sure you are. I'm sure you're very close friends."
Seinfeld
"- What was that? - I can't believe what I did."
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"- Who are they? - Yeah."
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"- Who are they? - They're nobody."
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"- I'm just as good as them. - Better."
Seinfeld
"That was funny."
Seinfeld
"I wrote an off-Broadway show."
Seinfeld
"Actually, it was off-off Broadway."
Seinfeld
"- Pepe. - Oh, Pepe. Yes, Pepe."
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"We thought about this in a variety of ways..."
Seinfeld
"- ... but the basic idea is I play myself- - May I?"
Seinfeld
"Mr. Dalrymple, your niece is on the phone."
Seinfeld
"- Is that with a Y? - No."
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"...and I have a friend and a neighbour and an ex-girlfriend."
Seinfeld
"Well, I don't know about the reading. We didn't discuss the reading."
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"How is that a show?"
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"This is the show, and we're not gonna change it."
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"I manage a circus."
Seinfeld
"Not the once-a-week for 80 bucks. No. You need a team."
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"A team of psychiatrists, working round the clock..."
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"...thinking about you, having conferences."
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"Observing you, like the way they did with the Elephant Man."
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"Is that the woman you're talking about?"
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"No!"
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"...and you know how Davola is. He's all..."
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"And so I felt very uncomfortable with him..."
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"- Well, I just assumed that- - Assumed?"
Seinfeld
"- Well, hello. Oh, hello. - Hello."
Seinfeld
"You remember Susan from NBC."
Seinfeld
"- Of course. How are you? - Fine. Good to see you."
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry. Excuse me one second."
Seinfeld
"...would you be interested in switching to TMI long distance?"
Seinfeld
"I- I can't talk right now."
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"It knocks me down. I look up, and it's Crazy Joe Davola."
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"And he says, That's what I think of your party."
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"- Look at that. - Wow, Newman's helmet."
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"What does he want from me? I didn't do anything."
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"Pass the cream."
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"...that really capture, you know..."
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"Well, look at your face in the mirror."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, it's your milk. - He drank it."
Seinfeld
"- You just said, Yo-Yo Ma. - What's Yo-Yo Ma?"
Seinfeld
"All right. Let's go. Six dollars."
Seinfeld
"I know."
Seinfeld
"Forget about the show. We should take the idea to a different network."
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"And if he hadn't vomited all over her, we'd be writing it right now."
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"What are you doing?"
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"What's wrong with you? What are you doing? Give me that."
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"Okay. Bye."
Seinfeld
"They wanna have another meeting?"
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"- What time do you have? - Five till."
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"See, I'm 10 minutes slow again. That's it for this piece of junk. I've had it."
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"We're supposed to be there. Let's take a cab."
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"Jerry!"
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"- Uncle Leo! - Hello!"
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"Hello there. How you doing?"
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"I don't hear from you anymore."
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"He was in the pyjama business."
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"You would cease to exist. You'd be gone for the rest of eternity."
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"Don't step on anything."
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"There are many things that I think you can point to..."
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"We chose not to avoid doing these activities, but instead..."
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"...so we had to come up with the helmet law..."
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"There's no excuse good enough to justify walking away..."
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"You could be a fireman on a fire truck on the way to a fire."
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"You bump into one of my relatives, Sorry, Uncle Leo..."
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"...there's a building full of people burning down. I do have to be running."
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"Is that Joe Davola?"
Seinfeld
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