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Clips from Seinfeld - The Scofflaw (S06E06)

"...which I don't get because if you have glasses, isn't that because..."
Seinfeld
"I've been leaving messages for months."
Seinfeld
"- You're hurting me. - You gonna share with me next time?"
Seinfeld
"- Sure. I swear. - All right. I'm looking forward to it."
Seinfeld
"- I don't know. - How are you closer to him than me?"
Seinfeld
"- So is he okay? - Oh, yeah, he's fine."
Seinfeld
"No, he was on his regular bed."
Seinfeld
"Who is he not to tell you about his life-threatening illness?"
Seinfeld
"- That's what I'm saying. - His illness is your business."
Seinfeld
"- Jake Jarmel? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"I have to say, as a glasses-wearer, I take exception to that."
Seinfeld
"Gary, I really have to say I'm a little bit hurt..."
Seinfeld
"So he refused to tell you where he got the glasses?"
Seinfeld
"You know, he has to be the only one who has them."
Seinfeld
"All right, George, come on. What do you got?"
Seinfeld
"...but the surgery revealed he never actually had it."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, I guess you could. - Come on."
Seinfeld
"He was so worried about losing more hair with chemo treatments..."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, I can't wait to talk to this guy. - Wait! You can't say anything."
Seinfeld
"I don't like it one bit. And I'm supposed to see him tomorrow."
Seinfeld
"Gary?"
Seinfeld
"- Is that from my gift certificate? - Yeah, buddy."
Seinfeld
"You came through. You've been so nice."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, let me see your fillings. - I don't think so."
Seinfeld
"Hey, look who's over there."
Seinfeld
"- This is Gary. - How are you doing?"
Seinfeld
"No. It's itchy."
Seinfeld
"- Really? - Sure did."
Seinfeld
"So, what made you just call me out of the blue like that?"
Seinfeld
"Anyway, I admit I was dumb to go to the bookstore..."
Seinfeld
"Smugness is not a good quality."
Seinfeld
"I think he's wearing glasses that look like Jake's. Pull over. Stop the car."
Seinfeld
"Can you believe someone would lie about chemotherapy to get a wig?"
Seinfeld
"Debby told me she fell in love with him because he has perspective."
Seinfeld
"Looking over your shoulder to see if someone's coming up..."
Seinfeld
"- Why didn't you tell me? - I couldn't. I couldn't tell anyone."
Seinfeld
"So you've been living this secret by yourself?"
Seinfeld
"...how sick I am of running around town looking for socks."
Seinfeld
"...a new pair of reading glasses. - They're from Malaysia."
Seinfeld
"I can't afford that."
Seinfeld
"As I said, it'll be different once we design something specifically for you."
Seinfeld
"Well, I'm just looking, really."
Seinfeld
"You know, Gary..."
Seinfeld
"So, Jake, what's your percentage on this book?"
Seinfeld
"Is this supposed to be some kind of a joke on me?"
Seinfeld
"...seems to be that strap that connects so you can take them on and off..."
Seinfeld
"...you need to wear glasses?"
Seinfeld
"You need glasses. Isn't that what they say?"
Seinfeld
"An eye doctor doesn't say:"
Seinfeld
"Would you care for some glasses?"
Seinfeld
"People with crutches don't have a chain attached to their belt..."
Seinfeld
"...so they can just let go of them every now and then."
Seinfeld
"Why not get a toupee with a rubber band for water-skiing?"
Seinfeld
"The thing could just..."
Seinfeld
"Hey, George."
Seinfeld
"Gary?"
Seinfeld
"Where the hell have you been?"
Seinfeld
"- I know, I've been busy. - Don't give me busy."
Seinfeld
"Who's not busy? I'm busy. We're all busy. Everybody's busy."
Seinfeld
"All right. Tell me. What's kept you so busy?"
Seinfeld
"Mostly chemotherapy."
Seinfeld
"Hey, I'll see you."
Seinfeld
"Hey, pig!"
Seinfeld
"Hey, hey, hey!"
Seinfeld
"I was yelling at the litterbug."
Seinfeld
"I mean, this is my town."
Seinfeld
"You don't throw trash on the streets of my town."
Seinfeld
"So, didn't you explain that to the cop?"
Seinfeld
"No, I fled the scene."
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - Hey."
Seinfeld
"Kramer, I need to talk to Jerry privately."
Seinfeld
"What about?"
Seinfeld
"- Kramer. - Oh, come on, George..."
Seinfeld
"...you can share it with me."
Seinfeld
"All right, I got news. You ready?"
Seinfeld
"- Gary Fogel had cancer. - Oh, yeah, I knew."
Seinfeld
"- You knew? How did you know? - He told me a few months ago."
Seinfeld
"Why did he tell you and not me?"
Seinfeld
"He was in bad shape for a while, though."
Seinfeld
"Really? How bad? Was he on his deathbed?"
Seinfeld
"So why didn't you tell me?"
Seinfeld
"- He swore me to secrecy. - So?"
Seinfeld
"It's not like you're my wife."
Seinfeld
"I still think you should've told me."
Seinfeld
"You were better off not knowing."
Seinfeld
"It's not easy to deal with someone in a situation like this."
Seinfeld
"I was so nice to him I almost made myself sick."
Seinfeld
"I'm gonna talk to him about this."
Seinfeld
"That's right. You let him have it."
Seinfeld
"- If not mine, whose? - If not now, when?"
Seinfeld
"Were you just talking about me?"
Seinfeld
"No, an old friend of ours, Gary."
Seinfeld
"Oh, the guy with cancer?"
Seinfeld
"If I told you, you would've given it away."
Seinfeld
"- You don't think I can keep a secret? - No, but he would have read your face."
Seinfeld
"- You don't trust my poker face? - Do you ever win at poker?"
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"Hey. Oh, I just saw your old boyfriend on TV."
Seinfeld
"I like those glasses he was wearing. Where'd he get those?"
Seinfeld
"- Why? You don't wear glasses. - I know."
Seinfeld
"But I need a new look. I'm stagnating."
Seinfeld
"That's like me buying a wheelchair to cruise around in."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, I've considered that."
Seinfeld
"Look, how do I get in touch with this guy?"
Seinfeld
"He's having a two-day book signing at Walden's."
Seinfeld
"You know, we had a really bad breakup."
Seinfeld
"The Jujyfruits?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, the Jujyfruits."
Seinfeld
"Okay, K-Man."
Seinfeld
"- Enjoy the book. - Thank you. Listen, Jake..."
Seinfeld
"...where did you get those eyeglass frames?"
Seinfeld
"- I can't tell you. - You don't know where?"
Seinfeld
"Yes, I do, but I don't want anyone else to have them."
Seinfeld
"Well, that's peculiar."
Seinfeld
"Oh, there's that woman that never talks to anybody."
Seinfeld
"Really?"
Seinfeld
"Every day she comes in and reads."
Seinfeld
"Never talks to anybody."
Seinfeld
"Oh, I spoke to Debby Biblow. She said to say hi."
Seinfeld
"Really?"
Seinfeld
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