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Clips from Seinfeld - The Understudy (S06E06)

"...have a kid. I mean, come on. I mean, you're so close."
Seinfeld
"If you need a pet that can roller-skate and smoke cigars..."
Seinfeld
"Monkeys, of course, were the first astronauts, in the '60s..."
Seinfeld
"...which I'm sure made perfect sense in the monkey brain."
Seinfeld
"And in 10,000 years, it will still be exactly the same..."
Seinfeld
"What else can they do?"
Seinfeld
"Yes. Yes, I do."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, isn't that Alec Berg? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. - Alec Berg."
Seinfeld
"I actually might not use them on Friday either, so I'll let you know."
Seinfeld
"Really, thank you."
Seinfeld
"Well, what about these nitwits that get on a plane with nothing to read?"
Seinfeld
"...I think this is it."
Seinfeld
"...and probably wouldn't for the next 50,000 years..."
Seinfeld
"- What are you talking about? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Because if you don't get that return..."
Seinfeld
"- So she works at the zoo? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"...you got it made in the shade."
Seinfeld
"- Well, you can't walk around like that. - Why not?"
Seinfeld
"Go Devils! Let's go, Devils!"
Seinfeld
"We're gonna get you, Messier!"
Seinfeld
"Will you sit down?"
Seinfeld
"So why didn't you?"
Seinfeld
"You know, I'm hungry. Let's get something to eat."
Seinfeld
"The Devils!"
Seinfeld
"Yep."
Seinfeld
"...and the other one says, I'm hungry. Let's get something to eat."
Seinfeld
"...when all of a sudden I am hit in the face with a banana peel."
Seinfeld
"...and I wait for that monkey to turn around, and then I:"
Seinfeld
"Kramer, you threw a banana peel at a monkey?"
Seinfeld
"- You're out of your mind. - Where are you going?"
Seinfeld
"I gotta get a suit cleaned. I have a funeral on Friday."
Seinfeld
"...and he lost control of the car."
Seinfeld
"Hey, Alec."
Seinfeld
"Did you see that?"
Seinfeld
"Only the poor monkey's important. Everything's done for the monkey."
Seinfeld
"Look, I'm sorry. I..."
Seinfeld
"You know, George really likes you."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, they can't go, Hey! You look fabulous!"
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - Hey."
Seinfeld
"It's the monkey that should be apologizing to me."
Seinfeld
"- What? - Yeah, her boss told me..."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, my God. - What?"
Seinfeld
"It's like the whole thing never happened."
Seinfeld
"So I don't know if I got a funeral hello..."
Seinfeld
"- See? I told you, Jerry! I told you! - What do you want me to do?"
Seinfeld
"Look, we got five hours before the game."
Seinfeld
"Well, you see, David..."
Seinfeld
"No, I was expecting somebody else."
Seinfeld
"Anyway..."
Seinfeld
"I lost my temper, and I probably shouldn't have."
Seinfeld
"...we both know that you started it. I mean, who's kidding who?"
Seinfeld
"And as you can see, this is not my face."
Seinfeld
"Well, did he call?"
Seinfeld
"It's 6:00! It's all over! Just pick up the phone and thank him!"
Seinfeld
"Hey, great game, huh? Let's go, Devils!"
Seinfeld
"Come on, D! D!"
Seinfeld
"Should I go over there?"
Seinfeld
"Of course."
Seinfeld
"- Where are you going? - Show League game."
Seinfeld
"I didn't know you were such a fan."
Seinfeld
"- Is this Bette Midler's understudy? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Just once I'd like to tell someone they stink."
Seinfeld
"It could be like the word foxto us."
Seinfeld
"You know George. This is Kramer."
Seinfeld
"Nice to meet you."
Seinfeld
"- Playing today? - No. I'm a bench player."
Seinfeld
"- So she's coming? - Oh, yeah, she'll be here."
Seinfeld
"It was really good."
Seinfeld
"Look, there she is. It's Bette. It's Bette."
Seinfeld
"You know, I've seen you in everything you've done."
Seinfeld
"All right."
Seinfeld
"I once talked to the Reverend Sun Myung Moon."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, yeah."
Seinfeld
"I know what you mean. Why don't you go back and play your position there."
Seinfeld
"You stink."
Seinfeld
"- What's that? - Nothing. Nothing."
Seinfeld
"Mr. Costanza, I don't-"
Seinfeld
"Maybe it was because I refused to take off my shoes."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God, Bette's hurt!"
Seinfeld
"The understudy's boyfriend probably put him up to it."
Seinfeld
"Our top story:"
Seinfeld
"...I just know this is gonna be my big break."
Seinfeld
"Jerry."
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"I hope you're all very proud of yourselves."
Seinfeld
"Not the Broadway I know."
Seinfeld
"...and I met an American businessman."
Seinfeld
"This man also refuses to take his shoes off."
Seinfeld
"Now, take your dry, bitten nails and get out!"
Seinfeld
"Frank?"
Seinfeld
"And if I see one piece of dark meat on there, it's your ass, buster."
Seinfeld
"All right, yeah."
Seinfeld
"Well, can I do that for you?"
Seinfeld
"So, what's the scoop on Bob Barker?"
Seinfeld
"Does he really give a damn about what those things cost..."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, I suppose that's true."
Seinfeld
"How do you know all that?"
Seinfeld
"You can all go straight to hell."
Seinfeld
"What planning? You think we planned this?"
Seinfeld
"- I had nothing to do with it. - Get out of my cab!"
Seinfeld
"...and I began running as fast as I could."
Seinfeld
"Touchability."
Seinfeld
"So many years, Frank."
Seinfeld
"If only you had taken your shoes off."
Seinfeld
"Couldn't, because I had a potential foot problem."
Seinfeld
"I thought maybe you had holes in your socks."
Seinfeld
"Here."
Seinfeld
"I made this for you."
Seinfeld
"All right, we are gonna go find a security guard."
Seinfeld
"There's only one place where I know you'll be safe."
Seinfeld
"Are you insane?!"
Seinfeld
"Wait, wait, wait. I didn't even get to tell you about my new job."
Seinfeld
"- Listen, buddy- - What, are you gonna break my legs?"
Seinfeld
"- Oh, I'm so sorry- - Oh, no, it's okay. I'm fine."
Seinfeld
"No Bette Midler?"
Seinfeld
"Hold it."
Seinfeld
"Your turn!"
Seinfeld
"All right, what am I supposed to do here?"
Seinfeld
"It's not like somebody died. It's Beaches, for God's sake."
Seinfeld
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