You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Seinfeld - The Parking Garage (S03E03)

TV Series 1989–1998 Season 3, Episode 6 22 min ★ 8.8/10 (390,457 ratings) 408 clips
Comedy
...you still don't really know, sometimes, which way to walk...
"...you still don't really know, sometimes, which way to walk..."
Seinfeld
...for my living room. This was a waste of time.
"...for my living room. This was a waste of time."
Seinfeld
You should see what my father used to do before he bought a new car.
"You should see what my father used to do before he bought a new car."
Seinfeld
We'd get phone calls from New Hampshire.
"We'd get phone calls from New Hampshire."
Seinfeld
Oh, big accomplishment.
"Oh, big accomplishment."
Seinfeld
Jerry, what time do you have?
"Jerry, what time do you have?"
Seinfeld
I have 5:00.
"I have 5:00."
Seinfeld
- But it's Saturday. - You got the picnic and burger traffic.
"- But it's Saturday. - You got the picnic and burger traffic."
Seinfeld
- Oh, this is great. - Look, I thought it was Green 22.
"- Oh, this is great. - Look, I thought it was Green 22."
Seinfeld
I remember Orange. I thought it was Orange.
"I remember Orange. I thought it was Orange."
Seinfeld
I'm sure it's right around here.
"I'm sure it's right around here."
Seinfeld
There it is.
"There it is."
Seinfeld
You better find this car.
"You better find this car."
Seinfeld
You hold it in like that, you can cause a lot of damage to your bladder.
"You hold it in like that, you can cause a lot of damage to your bladder."
Seinfeld
- ...it starts to come out involuntarily. - All right.
"- ...it starts to come out involuntarily. - All right."
Seinfeld
...they're gonna put me on an aggravation instalment plan...
"...they're gonna put me on an aggravation instalment plan..."
Seinfeld
...that will compound, with interest, for decades.
"...that will compound, with interest, for decades."
Seinfeld
Make sure you hang on to your jacket.
"Make sure you hang on to your jacket."
Seinfeld
You should always bring a pad and a pen.
"You should always bring a pad and a pen."
Seinfeld
I can't carry a pen. I'm afraid I'll puncture my scrotum.
"I can't carry a pen. I'm afraid I'll puncture my scrotum."
Seinfeld
From now on, no more calling out I found it unless we're sitting in it.
"From now on, no more calling out I found it unless we're sitting in it."
Seinfeld
Jerry, look at my fish.
"Jerry, look at my fish."
Seinfeld
Oh, those are your eyes.
"Oh, those are your eyes."
Seinfeld
I thought you knew this mall.
"I thought you knew this mall."
Seinfeld
- You said you'd been here. - It was easy last time.
"- You said you'd been here. - It was easy last time."
Seinfeld
No one's gonna do that.
"No one's gonna do that."
Seinfeld
...to drive us around the garage for five minutes so we can look.
"...to drive us around the garage for five minutes so we can look."
Seinfeld
- All right, all right. - Hey, you can go over here.
"- All right, all right. - Hey, you can go over here."
Seinfeld
I have no control over it.
"I have no control over it."
Seinfeld
...I could die.
"...I could die."
Seinfeld
- That's up to you. - Oh, so you don't care if I die.
"- That's up to you. - Oh, so you don't care if I die."
Seinfeld
What I care about is the sanitary condition of the parking facility.
"What I care about is the sanitary condition of the parking facility."
Seinfeld
Jerry!
"Jerry!"
Seinfeld
It's like a science-fiction story.
"It's like a science-fiction story."
Seinfeld
...we'll find the car, Jerry will show up and we'll never find you!
"...we'll find the car, Jerry will show up and we'll never find you!"
Seinfeld
That's for starters.
"That's for starters."
Seinfeld
I had a bottle of very tepid water and I poured it out.
"I had a bottle of very tepid water and I poured it out."
Seinfeld
I could see how you made a mistake...
"I could see how you made a mistake..."
Seinfeld
Well, wouldn't you get any satisfaction out of helping someone out?
"Well, wouldn't you get any satisfaction out of helping someone out?"
Seinfeld
I said crazy things, I obviously offended you...
"I said crazy things, I obviously offended you..."
Seinfeld
...I made all that up.
"...I made all that up."
Seinfeld
Their 47th wedding anniversary.
"Their 47th wedding anniversary."
Seinfeld
They're meeting me in front of my building at 6: 15.
"They're meeting me in front of my building at 6: 15."
Seinfeld
I mean, the guy had a fat fetish.
"I mean, the guy had a fat fetish."
Seinfeld
Why don't you just go.
"Why don't you just go."
Seinfeld
George!
"George!"
Seinfeld
- Should I? Should I do it? - Teach him a lesson he'll never forget.
"- Should I? Should I do it? - Teach him a lesson he'll never forget."
Seinfeld
Sorry.
"Sorry."
Seinfeld
That's right, go.
"That's right, go."
Seinfeld
Go work on your pecs and your lats. We're all really impressed.
"Go work on your pecs and your lats. We're all really impressed."
Seinfeld
Look at the time. All right, that's it.
"Look at the time. All right, that's it."
Seinfeld
Thank you. Thank you.
"Thank you. Thank you."
Seinfeld
It's a brown Ford.
"It's a brown Ford."
Seinfeld
I'll say.
"I'll say."
Seinfeld
I knew it. I knew this would happen.
"I knew it. I knew this would happen."
Seinfeld
I could have used you.
"I could have used you."
Seinfeld
Sometimes it's good to write those things down.
"Sometimes it's good to write those things down."
Seinfeld
Oh, boy.
"Oh, boy."
Seinfeld
See, the problem with the mall garage...
"See, the problem with the mall garage..."
Seinfeld
It's hard to find a store in a mall. They have a directory...
"It's hard to find a store in a mall. They have a directory..."
Seinfeld
...but the problem with it is, even if you figure out where you are...
"...but the problem with it is, even if you figure out where you are..."
Seinfeld
...and where you wanna go...
"...and where you wanna go..."
Seinfeld
...because it's an upright map.
"...because it's an upright map."
Seinfeld
If you had, like, suction-cup feet, then you could just walk right up on it.
"If you had, like, suction-cup feet, then you could just walk right up on it."
Seinfeld
Then you could tell, you could be on it going, All right, I'm here.
"Then you could tell, you could be on it going, All right, I'm here."
Seinfeld
I wanna go to the Gap. That's down there.
"I wanna go to the Gap. That's down there."
Seinfeld
All right, I'll just walk that way.
"All right, I'll just walk that way."
Seinfeld
But people would know. They would see you walking down the mall going:
"But people would know. They would see you walking down the mall going:"
Seinfeld
I heard about that guy. He's never lost.
"I heard about that guy. He's never lost."
Seinfeld
One left. What a joke.
"One left. What a joke."
Seinfeld
- You can have this one. - That's not enough BTUs...
"- You can have this one. - That's not enough BTUs..."
Seinfeld
I didn't get one either.
"I didn't get one either."
Seinfeld
Why do I always have the feeling...
"Why do I always have the feeling..."
Seinfeld
...everybody's doing something better than me on Saturdays?
"...everybody's doing something better than me on Saturdays?"
Seinfeld
- This is what people do. - No, they don't.
"- This is what people do. - No, they don't."
Seinfeld
They're out on some big picnic, they're cooking burgers...
"They're out on some big picnic, they're cooking burgers..."
Seinfeld
...making out on blankets.
"...making out on blankets."
Seinfeld
They're not at some mall in Jersey...
"They're not at some mall in Jersey..."
Seinfeld
...watching their friends trying to find the world's cheapest air conditioner.
"...watching their friends trying to find the world's cheapest air conditioner."
Seinfeld
He'd go from state to state. He was away for weeks at a time.
"He'd go from state to state. He was away for weeks at a time."
Seinfeld
Like he's running for president and going through the primaries.
"Like he's running for president and going through the primaries."
Seinfeld
We took a little ride, what's the big deal?
"We took a little ride, what's the big deal?"
Seinfeld
At least you accomplished something. You got fish.
"At least you accomplished something. You got fish."
Seinfeld
Fish. What do they do?
"Fish. What do they do?"
Seinfeld
- What do you do? - Hey, this way!
"- What do you do? - Hey, this way!"
Seinfeld
- Always late. Always late. - You're not late.
"- Always late. Always late. - You're not late."
Seinfeld
I told them to meet me in front of my building at 6: 15.
"I told them to meet me in front of my building at 6: 15."
Seinfeld
- Who? - My parents. It's their anniversary.
"- Who? - My parents. It's their anniversary."
Seinfeld
I'm taking them out to dinner and a show tonight.
"I'm taking them out to dinner and a show tonight."
Seinfeld
- Think we'll hit traffic? - Of course. It's rush hour.
"- Think we'll hit traffic? - Of course. It's rush hour."
Seinfeld
- Isn't it the other way? - There's no other way.
"- Isn't it the other way? - There's no other way."
Seinfeld
Everybody goes every way all the time.
"Everybody goes every way all the time."
Seinfeld
- There's picnic traffic? - As my grandfather used to say:
"- There's picnic traffic? - As my grandfather used to say:"
Seinfeld
Sometimes even a picnic's no picnic.
"Sometimes even a picnic's no picnic."
Seinfeld
I always get myself in this position. Can't be on time. Gotta rush.
"I always get myself in this position. Can't be on time. Gotta rush."
Seinfeld
What's the matter?
"What's the matter?"
Seinfeld
I have to go to the bathroom.
"I have to go to the bathroom."
Seinfeld
Why do they hide the bathrooms in these malls?
"Why do they hide the bathrooms in these malls?"
Seinfeld
- You want me to help you with that? - No, I got it.
"- You want me to help you with that? - No, I got it."
Seinfeld
Did I need that pointed out for me?
"Did I need that pointed out for me?"
Seinfeld
What is that gonna do for me? How does that help me, to see her?
"What is that gonna do for me? How does that help me, to see her?"
Seinfeld
Yeah, women love to get approached in parking garages.
"Yeah, women love to get approached in parking garages."
Seinfeld
I'll go up and say, Hi, how you doing? Would you like a glass of white wine?
"I'll go up and say, Hi, how you doing? Would you like a glass of white wine?"
Seinfeld
You get within 15 feet, she'd have her finger on the Mace button.
"You get within 15 feet, she'd have her finger on the Mace button."
Seinfeld
That was a guy.
"That was a guy."
Seinfeld
- That was a guy? - Where's the car?
"- That was a guy? - Where's the car?"
Seinfeld
Well, I thought it was here.
"Well, I thought it was here."
Seinfeld
You don't know where we parked?
"You don't know where we parked?"
Seinfeld
- I didn't pay attention. - This is just what I need.
"- I didn't pay attention. - This is just what I need."
Seinfeld
Yeah, it looks familiar. I remember the elevator.
"Yeah, it looks familiar. I remember the elevator."
Seinfeld
There's elevators all over! Everything looks the same!
"There's elevators all over! Everything looks the same!"
Seinfeld
We're like rats in some experiment.
"We're like rats in some experiment."
Seinfeld
It's over there. I know where it is.
"It's over there. I know where it is."
Seinfeld
- It's black, right? - Well, it's dark brown.
"- It's black, right? - Well, it's dark brown."
Seinfeld
In a parking lot, you write it down. How hard is that?
"In a parking lot, you write it down. How hard is that?"
Seinfeld
No, no.
"No, no."
Seinfeld
That's a Toyota.
"That's a Toyota."
Seinfeld
- I thought it was... - Hey, didn't we come in over there?
"- I thought it was... - Hey, didn't we come in over there?"
Seinfeld
I thought we came in over there.
"I thought we came in over there."
Seinfeld
How long can fish live in one of these plastic bags?
"How long can fish live in one of these plastic bags?"
Seinfeld