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Clips from Seinfeld - The Boyfriend: Part 1 (S03E03)

"At the health club, people are working out..."
Seinfeld
"...about locking up our dirty towels and smelly jockstraps."
Seinfeld
"...you could put a bullet through it and it won't open."
Seinfeld
"- Kramer, am I a chucker? - Oh, you're a chucker."
Seinfeld
"- No. Did you? - Yeah, I snuck a peek."
Seinfeld
"I made a conscious effort not to look."
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Does he have to stretch in here?"
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"Hey, should we say something to him?"
Seinfeld
"He's Keith Hernandez."
Seinfeld
"You know, Keith, what I've always wondered is..."
Seinfeld
"I can't stand these guys."
Seinfeld
"You give your number to them, and then they don't call."
Seinfeld
"He came over to me. I didn't go over to him."
Seinfeld
"I love how people say they're too busy. Too busy."
Seinfeld
"Takes two minutes. How can you be too busy?"
Seinfeld
"I know, but this is all very confusing."
Seinfeld
"If I meet a guy at a club or a gym: Hey, look, I'm sure you're very nice."
Seinfeld
"I've walked in and out of so many buildings."
Seinfeld
"- And you interviewed there? - Yes, for a sales position."
Seinfeld
"...Vandalay company."
Seinfeld
"The address?"
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"- No. - Jose Jimenez."
Seinfeld
"The address."
Seinfeld
"Vandalay is..."
Seinfeld
"It's why I wanted to work for them."
Seinfeld
"You gotta see the baby. When are you gonna see the baby?"
Seinfeld
"Can't they just send us a tape?"
Seinfeld
"No! Get..."
Seinfeld
"- Hate him! - I despise him."
Seinfeld
"According to your story..."
Seinfeld
"Well, that's the way it happened."
Seinfeld
"I'm leaving."
Seinfeld
"Wait, wait, wait."
Seinfeld
"Should I shake his hand?"
Seinfeld
"You got a pen?"
Seinfeld
"Single pump, not too hard."
Seinfeld
"So we're going out Friday."
Seinfeld
"- Well- I'll cancel it. - No, don't cancel it."
Seinfeld
"Well, this is a little awkward, isn't it?"
Seinfeld
"Vandalay Industries."
Seinfeld
"That was Keith. We're gonna do something next week."
Seinfeld
"I hope you don't mind my saying, she is breathtaking."
Seinfeld
"I can tell you that."
Seinfeld
"I'm serious. She doesn't."
Seinfeld
"How good can it be for your confidence that every paycheck..."
Seinfeld
"He's collecting unemployment insurance."
Seinfeld
"...and making up all these lies about looking for jobs."
Seinfeld
"Hello. How are you?"
Seinfeld
"Do you love her?"
Seinfeld
"What? Lyndon Johnson?"
Seinfeld
"- You don't have to take a picture. - I don't know where it is."
Seinfeld
"Billions and billions."
Seinfeld
"Would you like to come up?"
Seinfeld
"Wouldn't you love to make a key?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, she's gonna be all right."
Seinfeld
"You've got to see my grandfather. You've got to see him."
Seinfeld
"The mid-80s, you gotta see them."
Seinfeld
"You know, my mom's one-quarter Cajun."
Seinfeld
"You know."
Seinfeld
"Well, what kind of a kiss?"
Seinfeld
"Was it a peck? Was it a kiss? Was it a long make-out thing?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, yeah. Okay."
Seinfeld
"Bye."
Seinfeld
"- What's going on? - He wants me to help him move."
Seinfeld
"You know, furniture."
Seinfeld
"So, what did you say?"
Seinfeld
"I said, yes, but I don't feel right about it."
Seinfeld
"The biggest. That's like going all the way."
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"I'm not driving him to the airport."
Seinfeld
"Oh, boy. I don't know."
Seinfeld
"I wouldn't have brought it up, but since you mentioned it."
Seinfeld
"Well, so what? I mean..."
Seinfeld
"...because I don't think he's waving you in."
Seinfeld
"I didn't know you smoked."
Seinfeld
"I suppose he's an attractive man."
Seinfeld
"...I guess I had my chance. And that's that."
Seinfeld
"I mean really tall, like a giant. Like 6'5."
Seinfeld
"What was the tallest woman you ever slept with?"
Seinfeld
"- De Soto? What did he do? - Discovered the Mississippi."
Seinfeld
"I and my good pal Keith Hernandez..."
Seinfeld
"Or not."
Seinfeld
"- A box spring? - Yeah, there's a box spring."
Seinfeld
"Stairs?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, you don't remember me."
Seinfeld
"Let me refresh your memory."
Seinfeld
"I told you."
Seinfeld
"- It was McDowell. - But why? Why McDowell?"
Seinfeld
"- I gotta move. - You want any help?"
Seinfeld
"- I'd love some. You sure? - I'd love to help you."
Seinfeld
"Me too!"
Seinfeld
"I just didn't feel ready."
Seinfeld
"What do you need him for?"
Seinfeld
"Look, could you do me a favor?"
Seinfeld
"Wait! Wait!"
Seinfeld
"...dropped your wallet."
Seinfeld
"Are there boxes here? Have you seen any boxes?"
Seinfeld
"You walk into a store:"
Seinfeld
"...and they're training, getting in shape..."
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"...but strangely, nobody's really getting in shape for anything."
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"The only reason that you're getting in shape..."
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"...is that so you can get through the workout."
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"So we're working out..."
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"This is the whole thing."
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"The other thing I don't get is why we're so careful..."
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"What exactly is the black market on these disgusting gym clothes?"
Seinfeld
"I'll give my car to any guy in front of a restaurant..."
Seinfeld
"...because he's got a short red jacket."
Seinfeld
"He must be the valet guy."
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"But my stinking, putrefied gym clothes..."
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"...I got one of these locks..."
Seinfeld
"That stuff is safe."
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"Wide open! I was wide-open underneath."
Seinfeld
"I had three inches on that guy."
Seinfeld
"See, you two were hogging the ball."
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"Me? It wasn't me. I never even saw the ball."
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"All you do is dribble."
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"I have to dribble. If I give it to you, you just shoot. You're a chucker."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, I'm a chucker. - That's right."
Seinfeld
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