Loading...
Search
Search for Clips
Open main menu
Search for Clips
Home
About
Clips
Shows & Movies
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.
Clips from Seinfeld - The Suicide (S03E03)
"But any kind of physical test, I don't know what it is..."
Seinfeld
"I wanted to do unbelievable on that test."
Seinfeld
"Have you ever fasted?"
Seinfeld
"Well, once I didn't have dinner till, like, 9:00."
Seinfeld
"Give me 2 bucks. I'll do it for 2 bucks."
Seinfeld
"- Right. How much do they cost? - The junior?"
Seinfeld
"- Boy, she's sexy, isn't she? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Hey, you know what?"
Seinfeld
"I just remembered something."
Seinfeld
"- Amazing? You've seen him before. - I haven't seen him in months."
Seinfeld
"What was the dream?"
Seinfeld
"I heard he used to polish off a box of Triscuits."
Seinfeld
"Who is it?"
Seinfeld
"- Martin? - Your next-door neighbour."
Seinfeld
"It's Martin. I think he's dying. He tried to kill himself with pills."
Seinfeld
"- What? - Come on."
Seinfeld
"- No, I'll just wear the pyjamas. - Just get it!"
Seinfeld
"No, I'll go get the robe."
Seinfeld
"Did he say anything about me?"
Seinfeld
"He does not like you."
Seinfeld
"I wasn't."
Seinfeld
"I saw you looking at your watch. You want to leave? Go ahead."
Seinfeld
"- I wanted to see what time it was. - Are you afraid of him?"
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - Hey."
Seinfeld
"I don't get that whole suicide machine."
Seinfeld
"See, that's the beauty of the coma. It doesn't matter what you do."
Seinfeld
"- He goes home, there's nothing left? - Nothing left!"
Seinfeld
"Why would he come to George?"
Seinfeld
"Because George has heightened extrasensory perception."
Seinfeld
"- I knew it. I always felt different. - You are. Some coffee cake?"
Seinfeld
"- Maybe I did. - Take it away."
Seinfeld
"Yes, yes. She had a nose job."
Seinfeld
"Not in this life."
Seinfeld
"I don't know about this trip, George."
Seinfeld
"Now, listen, I just don't know how a person, with everything..."
Seinfeld
"Let's see how he handles that."
Seinfeld
"I do not like your toothbrush."
Seinfeld
"...but I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here..."
Seinfeld
"It is too small for someone with such a big mouth."
Seinfeld
"Let me ask you..."
Seinfeld
"They're a comedy team."
Seinfeld
"...but if I locate them, you'll be the first to know."
Seinfeld
"What kind of sicko would do that? He could kill me."
Seinfeld
"Boy, it's a good thing we came."
Seinfeld
"We'll call you."
Seinfeld
"George, I want you to promise me something. If I'm ever in a coma..."
Seinfeld
"Well, Newman's upstairs visiting Martin."
Seinfeld
"I hope he stays this happy when he wakes up."
Seinfeld
"Nothing could change your mind?"
Seinfeld
"Where did you get that?"
Seinfeld
"Sweetheart, no, don't run!"
Seinfeld
"Oh, that's great. That's great."
Seinfeld
"I tell you, my psychic instincts were a little off-"
Seinfeld
"- Because... Because... - All right, Rula. It's time to go."
Seinfeld
"Drake's Coffee Cake?"
Seinfeld
"It was disgusting!"
Seinfeld
"- You gotta watch for the jellyfish. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"All right, we're coming down."
Seinfeld
"- Elle Macpherson gonna be there? - I gotta call her back."
Seinfeld
"Why don't they just keep trying? What has changed? Is their life better?"
Seinfeld
"...here's one more thing you stink at."
Seinfeld
"Car won't start in the garage? Get a tune-up. You know what I mean?"
Seinfeld
"I'm going to get a physical examination."
Seinfeld
"That urine sample. Giving them that, that's always a pleasure, isn't it?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know what you need. I gave you whatever I had there."
Seinfeld
"I got more. Whatever you need, I can get it for you."
Seinfeld
"Just let me know what you need. It's no problem, I mean..."
Seinfeld
"...I always click into this thing where I wanna do really well."
Seinfeld
"And you'd really be listening, you know..."
Seinfeld
"...trying to really- Trying to do well, I wanna do well."
Seinfeld
"I wanted them to come to me after the test and go:"
Seinfeld
"We think you may have something close to super hearing."
Seinfeld
"What you heard was a cotton ball touching a piece of felt."
Seinfeld
"We're sending the results to Washington."
Seinfeld
"We'd like you to meet the president."
Seinfeld
"Let me ask you a question."
Seinfeld
"If you named a kid Rasputin..."
Seinfeld
"...do you think that would have a negative effect on his life?"
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"What are you doing? We're going out to dinner."
Seinfeld
"Do you realize this is the last meal I'm gonna have for three days?"
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. - George."
Seinfeld
"Come on up."
Seinfeld
"I never heard of this. You gotta fast for three days to take an ulcer test."
Seinfeld
"- How will you do that? - I don't know."
Seinfeld
"How could I possibly have ulcers? Who could have given me ulcers?"
Seinfeld
"I think I'll take out the garbage."
Seinfeld
"I'll tell you, that was pretty rough."
Seinfeld
"Hey. Do me a favour, will you?"
Seinfeld
"Throw out my garbage for me."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. Right."
Seinfeld
"Come on. It's just down the hall."
Seinfeld
"I'll give you 50 cents."
Seinfeld
"There's no way I'd touch that bag for less than $2."
Seinfeld
"Come on, 50 cents. You can get yourself a Drake's Coffee Cake."
Seinfeld
"You're not getting no Drake's Coffee Cake for 50 cents."
Seinfeld
"I'm all set. I got the ticket. I'm going to the Cayman Islands Friday."
Seinfeld
"I don't get you. Who goes on vacation without a job?"
Seinfeld
"What do you need, a break from getting up at 11?"
Seinfeld
"It's a deal. I don't know why you don't come with me."
Seinfeld
"I don't go for nonrefundable deals."
Seinfeld
"I can't commit to a woman, I'm not committing to an airline."
Seinfeld
"- Hi. - Hi."
Seinfeld
"How are you?"
Seinfeld
"Gina, do you know Drake's Coffee Cake?"
Seinfeld
"The plain cake with the sweet brown crumbs on the top."
Seinfeld
"- No, the full-size. - No, junior."
Seinfeld
"- You didn't say junior. - I haven't had one since I was little."
Seinfeld
"Really?"
Seinfeld
"You should be ashamed of yourself. I want you out of here."
Seinfeld
"- How you doing? - Good enough."
Seinfeld
"- Do you believe that guy? - What guy?"
Seinfeld
"- My neighbour. - That creepy guy?"
Seinfeld
"I had a dream about that guy last night. This is amazing."
Seinfeld
"He was doing standup comedy in Kennebunkport, Maine..."
Seinfeld
"...in this really ominous nightclub."
Seinfeld
"The stage was on a cliff and the audience..."
Seinfeld
"...was throwing all the comics off."
Seinfeld
"I think I've played there."
Seinfeld
"I've had a lot of paranormal stuff happen to me."
Seinfeld
Show more clips
« Previous
Next »
Showing
1
to
120
of
398
results
1
2
3
4