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Clips from Seinfeld - The Pilot (S04E04)

"Will we have to have AA-type meetings for these people?"
Seinfeld
"Hi, my name is Bill, and the one thing I'm worried about is having a stereo..."
Seinfeld
"Look, we've been through this already. You're not an actor."
Seinfeld
"You say something. I'll pretend it's funny."
Seinfeld
"- Say something funny. - All right."
Seinfeld
"Mine was better than that. Come on, look:"
Seinfeld
"- Any word from NBC? - No."
Seinfeld
"I don't understand. They're supposed to be casting this week."
Seinfeld
"Hi, Russell."
Seinfeld
"All right, well, first of all..."
Seinfeld
"I don't understand. We went out once, and-"
Seinfeld
"Yes, I know, and I- I- I just- I can't get you out of my mind."
Seinfeld
"The day in that restaurant when we met..."
Seinfeld
"Russell, you are the president of NBC."
Seinfeld
"You can have any woman you want."
Seinfeld
"...I don't know who eats these cheesy things."
Seinfeld
"...you're a very sweet guy, but..."
Seinfeld
"We have one with a bright young comedian, Jerry Seinfeld."
Seinfeld
"I got up. I went to work."
Seinfeld
"There's a show. That's a show."
Seinfeld
"- ... go to work, so- - Elaine, when-? When are we-?"
Seinfeld
"Bye-bye."
Seinfeld
"Hello. Yeah, he's here. Hey!"
Seinfeld
"He's getting phone calls here now?"
Seinfeld
"Hello."
Seinfeld
"Again with the sweatpants?"
Seinfeld
"You're telling the world, I give up."
Seinfeld
"I can't compete in normal society."
Seinfeld
"I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable."
Seinfeld
"Hello."
Seinfeld
"NBC?! Give me the phone!"
Seinfeld
"Okay, look, I'll call you back. Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Hello. Yes, it's Jerry Seinfeld returning the call."
Seinfeld
"What is that on your lip?"
Seinfeld
"...and you look for tumours?"
Seinfeld
"- I'm trying to help you. - What are you, like, a sadist?"
Seinfeld
"- You're rooting for a tumour. - You'd better go."
Seinfeld
"Do you see anything on my lip?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah. Like a discoloration."
Seinfeld
"Would you stop?"
Seinfeld
"- If you go, maybe they'll catch it in time. - Catch what in time?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God, it's Crazy Joe Davola."
Seinfeld
"Where's Russell? I thought he was gonna be here."
Seinfeld
"I don't know. I saw him this morning, and I said hello. He walked past me."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, right."
Seinfeld
"This is Mark Matz."
Seinfeld
"I don't know. You manufacture it."
Seinfeld
"They'll probably have to amputate."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. - Okay."
Seinfeld
"I think it moved."
Seinfeld
"Sorry, I made a faux pas."
Seinfeld
"Okay. Shall we start?"
Seinfeld
"You know what?"
Seinfeld
"- All right, wanna start? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- What was that look? - What look?"
Seinfeld
"- I gave a look? - Yes."
Seinfeld
"- Hi, how you doing? - Hi."
Seinfeld
"- What is this about? - Levels."
Seinfeld
"- Levels? - Yeah. Getting rid of all my furniture."
Seinfeld
"All of it. I'm building levels..."
Seinfeld
"I'll be comfortable."
Seinfeld
"- Wonderful reading. - That's really something."
Seinfeld
"...I went in."
Seinfeld
"Hey, you need a ticket."
Seinfeld
"- So who's playing Elaine? - Oh, don't worry about it."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, God. - She came down from Juneau by sled."
Seinfeld
"Listen, was Russell at the casting?"
Seinfeld
"Heat more."
Seinfeld
"...characteristic would you say is common to all of them?"
Seinfeld
"- Do you think it's a coincidence? - No."
Seinfeld
"I- I haven't seen four women like this together outside of a Russ Meyer film."
Seinfeld
"Never seen this before?"
Seinfeld
"How could a doctor not say, Get out of here?"
Seinfeld
"The show will be a hit, make millions, and I'll be dead."
Seinfeld
"- You got mugged? - Mugged?"
Seinfeld
"- Why didn't you use it in the building? - It was full."
Seinfeld
"I tried a few other places, you know, but that didn't work."
Seinfeld
"Come on up."
Seinfeld
"- What's the matter with him? - He's a little backed-up."
Seinfeld
"Apply for a job? What for?"
Seinfeld
"It's a coincidence."
Seinfeld
"Oh, hi."
Seinfeld
"She wants to talk about the part."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. - I want to know her from the inside."
Seinfeld
"- With her hands. - What about pasta?"
Seinfeld
"Everything?"
Seinfeld
"- Well- - Does she kiss..."
Seinfeld
"Actually, she has a thing where she spirals her tongue around. It's like a-"
Seinfeld
"You should be writing this stuff down."
Seinfeld
"Look, this stuff doesn't matter to me."
Seinfeld
"- I'm Kramer. - I'm Kramer."
Seinfeld
"Have you ever waited on tables before?"
Seinfeld
"Anyway, there's at least..."
Seinfeld
"That's hard to say."
Seinfeld
"...that's only hiring large-breasted women."
Seinfeld
"Really?"
Seinfeld
"Danish. Is it from Denmark?"
Seinfeld
"I can't believe that. They fooled me, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"Boy, talk about a show about nothing."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me."
Seinfeld
"This- This is not right."
Seinfeld
"You want to hit fooledmore."
Seinfeld
"They fooled me, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"I'm not gonna say it like that."
Seinfeld
"George?"
Seinfeld
"Why is that?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know, but they don't seem to like it."
Seinfeld
"So you think this guy playing Kramer took the raisins?"
Seinfeld
"I told you these stand-ups can't act."
Seinfeld
"Nothing."
Seinfeld
"Are we going out?"
Seinfeld
"You're breaking up with me, aren't you?"
Seinfeld
"All right, we're broken up."
Seinfeld
"Can we still be friends?"
Seinfeld
"There was a box of raisins on the coffee table."
Seinfeld
"What are you talking about?"
Seinfeld
"I was just wondering if, you know..."
Seinfeld
"Are you accusing me of stealing the raisins?"
Seinfeld
"...well, I'm just inquiring."
Seinfeld
"Stay away from me. I don't wanna talk to you."
Seinfeld
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