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Clips from Seinfeld - The Puffy Shirt (S05E05)

"There's no way that moving in with your parents..."
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"...is a sign that your life is right on track."
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"There's no way that you could fake this even."
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""Things are great. I met a terrific girl, I got a great job..."
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"...and if everything goes according to plan..."
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"...I'm gonna be moving back in with my parents soon.""
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"It's like getting busted on a parole violation..."
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"...and thrown back into the slammer."
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""In the opinion of the board, you need further rehabilitation, I'm afraid.""
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"And you go back into that little room of yours, you feel so huge."
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"It's like you could take your bed and just crush it in your hands."
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"You can hold your parents between your fingers."
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""Why was I so afraid of you people when I was growing up?""
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"- I can't believe this. - It won't be for that long."
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"How can I do this? How can I move back in with those people?"
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"Please, tell me. They're insane, you know that."
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"Hey, my parents are as crazy as your parents."
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"How can you compare your parents to mine?"
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"My father has never thrown anything out ever."
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"My father wears his sneakers in the pool. Sneakers."
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"My mother has never set foot in a natural body of water."
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"Listen carefully."
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"My mother has never laughed."
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"Ever. Not a giggle, not a chuckle, not a tee-hee."
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"Never went, "Ha.""
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"- A smirk? - Maybe."
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"- And I'm moving back in there. - I'll lend you the money for the rent."
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"No, no, no. Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex."
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"It just completely changes the relationship."
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"- Hey. - Hey."
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"All right, I'm ready."
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"I still don't understand. Why do you want to move back with your parents?"
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"I don't want to. I'm out of money. I got $714 in the bank."
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"- Well, move in here. - What's that?"
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"Why doesn't he just move in here?"
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"Yeah, I'll move in with him. He doesn't let you use the toilet."
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"You can move in with me if you want."
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"Thank you. I..."
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"That might not work out."
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"Careful. Careful with the suitcases. We just painted."
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"- Hello, Mrs. Costanza. - Hello, Kramer."
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"- Close the door. - I gotta bring in more stuff."
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"- More stuff? How much is there? - There's more."
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"- So how are you, Jerry? - Fine, Mrs. Costanza."
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"- Hey, I got a terrific joke for you. - I'm not interested."
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"No, no. It's really funny."
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"- There's these two guy- - Tell it to the audience."
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"Here, I made some bologna sandwiches."
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"Bologna? Nobody eats bologna anymore."
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"What are you talking about? Have a sandwich."
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"- No, thanks. - Oh, stop it."
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"- You don't want one, Kramer? - No, thanks."
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"I think you're all a little touched in the head."
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"You're so worried about your health? You're young men."
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"- I really don't eat it. - What will I do with these sandwiches?"
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"Will you take them home, give them to someone in your building?"
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"I don't feel comfortable handing out bologna sandwiches in the building."
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"- All right. That's it. Anything else? - No, that's it."
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"- I gotta go move the car. - Well, I guess we'll be going."
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"- What, you're going? - Yeah."
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"Well, what are you doing later?"
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"Elaine and I are having dinner with Kramer and his new girlfriend."
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"- Really? - Yeah. You can't believe this woman."
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"She's one of these low-talkers. You can't hear a word."
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"You're always going, "Excuse me? What was that?""
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"- Maybe I'll meet you. - No, George."
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"We're going out to eat tonight with your father."
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"Okay."
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"- I'll talk to you later. - Yeah, take it easy."
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"Oh, my God."
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"- Yeah? - I had this idea for a pizza place..."
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"- ...where you make your own pie. - Right."
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"- You remember? - That was a good one."
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"Well..."
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"- What's that? - Excuse me?"
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"- Yeah? Yeah. - Yeah. Yeah."
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"You know that Leslie's in the clothing business?"
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"She's a designer."
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"She's come up with a new one that'll be the big new look in men's fashions."
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"It's, like, a puffy shirt."
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"Well, yeah, it's all puffy."
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"Like the pirates used to wear."
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"- Oh, a puffy shirt. - Puffy."
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"Yeah. See, I think people wanna look like pirates."
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"It's the right time for it."
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"To be all puffy and devil-may-care, you know."
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"Yeah."
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"That's true."
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"I'll be right back."
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"Jerry's gonna be on the Today show on Friday."
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"- Yeah, that's right. - Yep. He's promoting..."
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"...a benefit for Goodwill."
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"You know, they clothe the poor and the homeless."
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"- And the indigent. - And the indigent, yeah."
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"I do volunteer work for them. I set the whole thing up and got Jerry to do it."
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"- Sure. Yeah. - Oh, yeah."
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"Yeah. Yep."
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"Yep."
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"Yep, yep."
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"Maybe you should take a civil-service test."
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"- I'm not taking a civil-service test. - Look at this, George."
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"You ever seen a silver dollar?"
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"Yes, I've seen a silver dollar."
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"Why don't you wanna take a civil-service test?"
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"To do what? Work in the post office? Is that what you want me to do?"
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"Would you believe when I was 18 I had a silver-dollar collection?"
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"I don't understand. You get job security."
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"- You get a paycheck every week. - I'm a college graduate."
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"You want me to be a mailman?"
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"You know, I couldn't bring myself to spend one of these."
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"I got some kind of a..."
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"...phobia."
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"- So, what are you gonna do? - I don't know."
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"I do know that I have some kind of a talent, something to offer."
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"I just don't know what it is yet."
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"I bet that collection would be worth a lot of money today."
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"Oh, my God."
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"I don't like this waiter."
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"Look at him."
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"He sees us."
Seinfeld
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