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Clips from Seinfeld - The Caddy (S07E07)

"...when someone gets hit with a golf ball?"
Seinfeld
"It's a little white ball doing 100 miles an hour on a white background."
Seinfeld
"How? Because I'm an idiot."
Seinfeld
"Then I found out the Auto Club has free locksmith service, so I signed up."
Seinfeld
"Hello, boys."
Seinfeld
"He thinks eventually I'll have a shot at making it big on the Senior Tour."
Seinfeld
"Oh, that's my dream, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, here, Stan. In here. There he is."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, George, this is Stan the Caddy."
Seinfeld
"- How you doing? - Hi."
Seinfeld
"What, is it too cold out?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah. What have you been up to?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I hope you can get me a gift anyway."
Seinfeld
"So keep it under your hat."
Seinfeld
"And it is all because of that car."
Seinfeld
"He sees my car. He figures I'm burning the midnight oi/."
Seinfeld
"Locking your keys in your car is the best career move you ever made."
Seinfeld
"- You know Sue Ellen Mischke? - Sue Ellen Mischke?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, the woman I grew up with in Maryland."
Seinfeld
"This woman has never, not once ever, as long as I have known her..."
Seinfeld
"... and he fo//ows her right out the door."
Seinfeld
"She's your Lex Luthor."
Seinfeld
"Have I ever bought you a jockstrap as a gift?"
Seinfeld
"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at work?"
Seinfeld
"Sue E//en Mischk e to see you."
Seinfeld
"Sue Ellen Mischke?"
Seinfeld
"Hello."
Seinfeld
"I was in the neighbourhood..."
Seinfeld
"Oh, you're welcome."
Seinfeld
"Well, Sue Ellen, it's..."
Seinfeld
"This is the life, isn't it, huh, kid?"
Seinfeld
"- I need a favour. - What's going on?"
Seinfeld
"I just remembered. There's a restaurant near Yankee stadium..."
Seinfeld
"...that puts fliers on all the cars. - Yeah, so?"
Seinfeld
"All right, fine. I'll drive the three hours each way and take them off myself."
Seinfeld
"You wanna go to the Bronx and see if there's fliers..."
Seinfeld
"Oh, man, look at this mess."
Seinfeld
"Oh, the keys are locked inside."
Seinfeld
"Wait a second."
Seinfeld
"There we go."
Seinfeld
"Kramer!"
Seinfeld
"I guess I have to bring his car back up to the stadium. If it can make it."
Seinfeld
"Well, I couldn't help it. You saw what she was wearing."
Seinfeld
"That's the bra I gave her. She's wearing it as a top."
Seinfeld
"A woman is walking around in broad daylight with nothing but a bra on."
Seinfeld
"What about the tour and all my dreams?"
Seinfeld
"I got it!"
Seinfeld
"Somebody's gotta be held accountable."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, yeah. - So we got an attractive woman..."
Seinfeld
"She's flouting society's conventions."
Seinfeld
"It was outrageous."
Seinfeld
"Oh Henry!?"
Seinfeld
"Suzy, call Dr. Bison. Set up an appointment for Mr. Kramer."
Seinfeld
"So, what do you think, Jackie? I mean, we got a case?"
Seinfeld
"Now you got a team."
Seinfeld
"Good morning, Wilhelm."
Seinfeld
"- Find him, Wilhelm. - Yes, sir."
Seinfeld
"Well, you can wait for him in here if you like."
Seinfeld
"He's dead. Costanza's dead."
Seinfeld
"Easy, Big Stein, get it together."
Seinfeld
"- Back to business, Wilhelm. - Yes, sir."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, really? - Why? What's wrong? Come on."
Seinfeld
"You should have been watching the road."
Seinfeld
"Well, your attitude has certainly changed."
Seinfeld
"I don't think it's changed."
Seinfeld
"- Kramer, it is not what you think. - I know what I think."
Seinfeld
"...and now you're willing to sell me and Elaine..."
Seinfeld
"...and whoever else you have to right down the river."
Seinfeld
"And what about you?"
Seinfeld
"...built on sweat and toil manufacturing quality Oh Henry! Candy bars..."
Seinfeld
"You're just out for money!"
Seinfeld
"My name is George Steinbrenner."
Seinfeld
"He'd been logging heavy hours."
Seinfeld
"First one in, last one to leave. The kid was a human dynamo."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, it's Frank Costanza."
Seinfeld
"Mr. Steinbrenner's here. George is dead. Ca// me back."
Seinfeld
"I didn't know what to do, so I put it back at the stadium."
Seinfeld
"They saw the car and the blood, that's why Steinbrenner thinks you're dead."
Seinfeld
"What exquisite beauty."
Seinfeld
"I ran down the hallway to talk to her..."
Seinfeld
"I want to market this item as a new direction in women's fashion."
Seinfeld
"We're gonna sell this as a top."
Seinfeld
"Have it on my desk by the end of the week."
Seinfeld
"I managed to survive..."
Seinfeld
"...I think I may have found a way for us to get Bonds and Griffey..."
Seinfeld
"Don't tell it to me. Tell it to the new assistant to the general manager."
Seinfeld
"I didn't get the job?"
Seinfeld
"But you still have your old job."
Seinfeld
"Not as long as I'm running the show!"
Seinfeld
"What was your golf score the last round you played..."
Seinfeld
"...before your shoulder was injured? - Three under par."
Seinfeld
"That's what the professionals shoot, isn't it?"
Seinfeld
"Mr. Seinfeld, I might remind you that you are under oath."
Seinfeld
"Did you or did you not see this woman wearing a bra?"
Seinfeld
"All right, I saw her. I saw her."
Seinfeld
"Well, Kramer, I think we got this wrapped up."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, yeah."
Seinfeld
"You're close. You're on the green."
Seinfeld
"- See if it fits. - No, no, no, no."
Seinfeld
"Do it, Jackie. Stan's the man."
Seinfeld
"Your caddy? This is a big mistake."
Seinfeld
"This is a public humiliation."
Seinfeld
"Why are people surprised..."
Seinfeld
"Have you watched the tournaments on TV?"
Seinfeld
"...and no one believes it when a Titleist..."
Seinfeld
"You know, you throw a rock into a crowd, that's considered terrorism."
Seinfeld
"But if you have a nice follow-through, you know, that's golf."
Seinfeld
"I'm always impressed with the golf cameraman..."
Seinfeld
"Why bother? Aim the camera at the sky. Aim it at the ground."
Seinfeld
"Take a ball out of your pocket. Throw it down."
Seinfeld
"Who's gonna know where the hell it came from?"
Seinfeld
"How did you lock your keys in your car?"
Seinfeld
"- Why didn't you get a locksmith? - I was going to."
Seinfeld
"Just waiting for the membership to kick in."
Seinfeld
"I don't know. About three days."
Seinfeld
"- You're not playing golf? - Yes, indeed."
Seinfeld
"- And the course is open? - No, no."
Seinfeld
"I sneak in with Stan the Caddy. We go through the caddies' entrance."
Seinfeld
"- No kidding. - I'll tell you something else."
Seinfeld
"Stan's advice has transformed my game. He's never wrong."
Seinfeld
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