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Clips from Seinfeld - The Junior Mint (S04E04)

"You can't have adultery. You commit it."
Seinfeld
"Then you get caught, get divorced, lose your mind..."
Seinfeld
"- So when you gonna see her? - Tonight."
Seinfeld
"Look at... Why do I get bananas? They're good for one day."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. All right."
Seinfeld
"- What, the whole apartment? - The whole apartment."
Seinfeld
"- What, you rented Home Alone? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. You liked him. What happened? - Yeah, I did. He was very talented."
Seinfeld
"- Artsy? - Fat."
Seinfeld
"- That's very rare. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- All right. We'll wait for you. - I can get some rubber gloves there."
Seinfeld
"Dr. Whittenberg, outside cal."
Seinfeld
"Dr. Whittenberg, outside cal."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. After you stopped seeing me, I was devastated."
Seinfeld
"- Really. It's the truth. - Jerry, did you hear this?"
Seinfeld
"No, I believe it's next week."
Seinfeld
"Pay dirt."
Seinfeld
"We have to."
Seinfeld
"They're gonna cut him open. His guts will be all over the place."
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - Hi."
Seinfeld
"I never even got to the gym. Kramer got the gloves..."
Seinfeld
"- That's nerve. - Yeah. So she and triangle boy..."
Seinfeld
"You know, now you gotta ask her her name. It's so embarrassing."
Seinfeld
"There are ways."
Seinfeld
"...with a part of the female anatomy?"
Seinfeld
"- There you are. - Hey."
Seinfeld
"You asked a date to go to the operation?"
Seinfeld
"Then we'll watch them go slice this fat bastard up."
Seinfeld
"- What are you eating? - Junior Mints."
Seinfeld
"Where'd you get those?"
Seinfeld
"- Didn't they notice it? - No."
Seinfeld
"- How could they not notice it? - Because it's a little mint."
Seinfeld
"Why'd you force that mint on me? I didn't want the mint!"
Seinfeld
"- That's true. - It's very refreshing."
Seinfeld
"Prognosis..."
Seinfeld
"- Yes. - We could be tried for murder."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, that's the spot."
Seinfeld
"Mulva?"
Seinfeld
"- Okay. - My cousin knows the producer."
Seinfeld
"- Hi. - Hi, I'm George."
Seinfeld
"So any word on the artiste?"
Seinfeld
"No. I haven't heard anything."
Seinfeld
"It's about Roy Corning's condition."
Seinfeld
"- What? What? - That's fantastic."
Seinfeld
"There's no luck."
Seinfeld
"So Elaine..."
Seinfeld
"I'm so sorry, Roy..."
Seinfeld
"...but, actually, we are going to the Poconos on Friday. Right, honey?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, I believe that we... We are."
Seinfeld
"- Please, can we go to the Poconos? - Well, I'll think about it."
Seinfeld
"...Joseph Poglia."
Seinfeld
"I had it autographed for my uncle."
Seinfeld
"Mulva?"
Seinfeld
"Ages 0 through 10, candy is your life. There's nothing else."
Seinfeld
"You know, I love those. I hate those."
Seinfeld
"I hate those. I love those."
Seinfeld
"That's two totally different things when you're a 7-year-old."
Seinfeld
"You can't even commit adultery unless you already have a commitment."
Seinfeld
"So you have to make the commitment before thinking about committing it."
Seinfeld
"There's no commit without the commit."
Seinfeld
"Then, once you commit, then you can commit the adultery."
Seinfeld
"...and they have you committed."
Seinfeld
"You know, some people actually cheat on the people they're cheating with..."
Seinfeld
"...which is like, you know, being in a holdup..."
Seinfeld
"...and turning to the robber next to you and going:"
Seinfeld
"All right, give me everything you have too."
Seinfeld
"You met her at the supermarket? How?"
Seinfeld
"Produce section. Very provocative area."
Seinfeld
"Lots of melons and shapes. Everyone squeezing and smelling."
Seinfeld
"It just happened."
Seinfeld
"- How could you not know her name? - I was nervous. I got distracted."
Seinfeld
"It had something to do with a car or a fish."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God. I forgot to tell you."
Seinfeld
"I got a letter today from the State Controller's Office."
Seinfeld
"Back in public school in Brooklyn..."
Seinfeld
"...every week I put 50 cents in the Lincoln Savings Bank."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, I did that too. - Remember the little bankbook?"
Seinfeld
"I haven't put anything in it since sixth grade. I completely forgot about it."
Seinfeld
"The State Controller's Office tracks me down."
Seinfeld
"The interest has accumulated to $1900."
Seinfeld
"Nineteen hundred dollars. They're sending me a check."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. Interest. It's an amazing thing."
Seinfeld
"You make money without doing anything."
Seinfeld
"I have friends that base their whole life on that principle."
Seinfeld
"- Really? Who? - Nobody you know."
Seinfeld
"Maybe I'll go down to the track, put it all on a horse."
Seinfeld
"Why don't you put it in the bank."
Seinfeld
"Bank? This is found money."
Seinfeld
"I want to parlay it. I wanna make a big score."
Seinfeld
"You mean you wanna lose it."
Seinfeld
"- You got it, huh? - Yes, I did."
Seinfeld
"- Yes. - What's with the gloves?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I'm staining my floors. You know, I don't wanna get my hands dirty."
Seinfeld
"And I'm buying that fake-wood wallpaper."
Seinfeld
"I'm gonna surround myself in wood."
Seinfeld
"It's gonna be like a log cabin."
Seinfeld
"Because I need wood around me."
Seinfeld
"Wood, Jerry. Wood."
Seinfeld
"- Wood is good. - Definitely."
Seinfeld
"So we're still going to play racquetball, right?"
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. Whenever you're ready. - Okay. Soon as Elaine gets here."
Seinfeld
"- I thought you saw that. - No, I saw Home Alone 2."
Seinfeld
"Oh, right. But you hated it."
Seinfeld
"Well, I was lost. I never saw the first one."
Seinfeld
"- By the way, you mind if I watch it here? - What for?"
Seinfeld
"If I watch it at my apartment, I feel like I'm not doing anything."
Seinfeld
"Here, I'm out of the house, I'm doing something."
Seinfeld
"All right, go ahead."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah? - It's me. Are you ready to go?"
Seinfeld
"No. Come on up."
Seinfeld
"I can't work with these."
Seinfeld
"- What's wrong? - You bought me dishwashing gloves."
Seinfeld
"- There's no fine touch. - You said gloves."
Seinfeld
"No. No, these are too thick."
Seinfeld
"- Is that Home Alone? - Yeah. The original."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, boys-o. - Hey!"
Seinfeld
"Hello."
Seinfeld
"Hey, get your stuff. Let's go."
Seinfeld
"Wait a minute. There's a change of plans."
Seinfeld
"- What? - Remember Roy, the artist?"
Seinfeld
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