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Clips from Seinfeld - The Switch (S06E06)

"The Christmas tree seems to inspire a love-hate relationship."
Seinfeld
"All that time is spent selecting it and decorating it..."
Seinfeld
"People snap out of that Christmas spirit like it was a drunken stupor."
Seinfeld
"Ready to go, Lois?"
Seinfeld
"Jimmy's in trouble, Lois."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, yeah. - Gee, I hope you're not leaving now."
Seinfeld
"No. No, this is all wrong."
Seinfeld
"Fine, Benes."
Seinfeld
"- What list? - The do-not-deliver list."
Seinfeld
"Well, does he wear bland, drab, olive-colored clothing?"
Seinfeld
"Yes, he does dress a little drab."
Seinfeld
"Appearance not important? This is unbelievable."
Seinfeld
"- Where's Lois? - She couldn't make it."
Seinfeld
"But, George, guess who her boss is?"
Seinfeld
"I was the last one on the end, George was next to me and Mr. Bevilaqua..."
Seinfeld
"...not even to the end of a block or to catch a bus."
Seinfeld
"I choose not to run."
Seinfeld
"How's Duncan?"
Seinfeld
"Gotta make those big bucks."
Seinfeld
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am."
Seinfeld
"Well, so enjoy yourself."
Seinfeld
"So you lied to her?"
Seinfeld
"I couldn't tell her the truth. I don't know what's gonna happen between us."
Seinfeld
"...at the new Santa at Coleman's Department Store."
Seinfeld
"He wants to meet you?"
Seinfeld
"Yes, I'm causing dissent..."
Seinfeld
"- Hi. - Hello."
Seinfeld
"- Doing a little Christmas shopping? - Yeah, yeah."
Seinfeld
"Big Communist. Big, big Communist."
Seinfeld
"- It was awfully nice to see you. - Yeah, see you later."
Seinfeld
"How are you doing there, buddy?"
Seinfeld
"- Double? - I bet the glue from that beard itches."
Seinfeld
"I didn't hit puberty till the ninth grade."
Seinfeld
"That's what gave me my speed."
Seinfeld
"- That's what I've always wondered. - Well..."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God."
Seinfeld
"George."
Seinfeld
"- This is unbelievable. - Hi, George."
Seinfeld
"Wow, this is something. I haven't seen you guys in, what, 20 years?"
Seinfeld
"What have you been doing with yourself?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah. You know, it's true what they say."
Seinfeld
"Have you designed any buildings in New York?"
Seinfeld
"Really didn't take very long either."
Seinfeld
"I thought we might reminisce."
Seinfeld
"Duncan and I were just talking about the day of the big race."
Seinfeld
"Let me see. I remember you were standing at one end of the line."
Seinfeld
"...and then... You were gone."
Seinfeld
"- Did I get a head start? - Head start? Oh, no."
Seinfeld
"You satisfied? So you see?"
Seinfeld
"- That's a good idea. - No, no, no."
Seinfeld
"What does that mean?"
Seinfeld
"My secretary told Mr. Steinbrenner I'm a Communist."
Seinfeld
"You just called the woman for a date."
Seinfeld
"Hello."
Seinfeld
"...that is not going to work."
Seinfeld
"Why? I'll tell you why."
Seinfeld
"Because I choose not to run."
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry, Elaine. This shirt's too fancy."
Seinfeld
"Fine. You wanna be a Communist? Be a Communist."
Seinfeld
"- I'm gonna order Chinese food. - You're ordering from Hop Sing's?"
Seinfeld
"- Your father was blacklisted? - Yes, he was. And you know why?"
Seinfeld
"You're Benes, right?"
Seinfeld
"I want a racing car set."
Seinfeld
"And these Coleman pigs, they sell it for triple the cost."
Seinfeld
"Not anymore. Get your skinny ass out of here!"
Seinfeld
"I knew it was you. You tried to trick Hop Sing."
Seinfeld
"A Communist?"
Seinfeld
"I am a Yankee, sir, first and foremost."
Seinfeld
"The claro's good too. That's more of a pale brown."
Seinfeld
"I knew that stuff was gonna get us in trouble."
Seinfeld
"Ready."
Seinfeld
"You wanted to see me, el presidente?"
Seinfeld
"Come here. I understand you are very interested in one of our players."
Seinfeld
"And I would be honored if you would be my guest..."
Seinfeld
"...for dinner tonight at the Presidential Palace."
Seinfeld
"Of course, the problem with parties is..."
Seinfeld
"...and then a week after, it's just thrown somewhere."
Seinfeld
"You see it by the side of the road. It looks like a mob hit."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God, there's a tree inside the house."
Seinfeld
"Just throw it anywhere."
Seinfeld
"Boy, you sure like to say my name, don't you?"
Seinfeld
"Excuse me, Lois. Stand back, Lois."
Seinfeld
"Oh, Mr. Meyer, this is my friend Jerry..."
Seinfeld
"- Jerry Seinfeld. - Duncan Meyer."
Seinfeld
"- You two know each other? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"We went to high school together, didn't we, Jerry?"
Seinfeld
"We still have a lot of work left to do."
Seinfeld
"Would you be able to come all the way downtown again..."
Seinfeld
"Why, I'd have to be Superman to do that, Lois."
Seinfeld
"- Where's the chicken cashew? - You no order chicken cashew."
Seinfeld
"No, I didn't order any of this. I'm not paying for this."
Seinfeld
"We're putting you on our list."
Seinfeld
"Merry Christmas to you."
Seinfeld
"What are you doing with the Daily Worker?"
Seinfeld
"I figure Ned must have left it here."
Seinfeld
"Your boyfriend reads the Daily Worker? What is he, a Communist?"
Seinfeld
"He reads everything. You know, Ned's very well-read."
Seinfeld
"Maybe he's just very, well, Red."
Seinfeld
"A Communist? Don't you think he probably would have told me?"
Seinfeld
"Yes."
Seinfeld
"He's a Communist."
Seinfeld
"Hey, look at this."
Seinfeld
"Exciting, uninhibited woman seeks forward-thinking comrade."
Seinfeld
"Appearance not important."
Seinfeld
"Finally, this an ideology I can embrace."
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - Hey."
Seinfeld
"I can't believe you're going out with a woman named Lois."
Seinfeld
"I know. Finally."
Seinfeld
"- Duncan Meyer. - Duncan Meyer?"
Seinfeld
"- Who's he? - Elaine..."
Seinfeld
"...only one person knows what I'm about to tell you..."
Seinfeld
"...and that's George."
Seinfeld
"In the ninth grade they had us all line up in the schoolyard for this race..."
Seinfeld
"...to see who would represent the school in this track meet."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, of course. - He was down at the other end."
Seinfeld
"So he yells out, Ready. On your mark. Get set..."
Seinfeld
"And I was so keyed up, I just took off."
Seinfeld
"By the time he said, Go, I was ten yards ahead."
Seinfeld
"- No. - I looked up."
Seinfeld
"I couldn't believe it."
Seinfeld
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