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Clips from Seinfeld - The Butter Shave (S09E09)

TV Series 1989 –1998 Season 9, Episode 1 22 min ★ 8.8/10 (390,457 ratings) 425 clips
Comedy

Episodes from this show

Title Season Episode
Good News, Bad News 1 1
The Stakeout 1 2
The Robbery 1 3
The Stock Tip 1 5
The Ex-Girlfriend 2 1
The Pony Remark 2 2
The Jacket 2 3
The Phone Message 2 4
The Apartment 2 5
The Statue 2 6
The Revenge 2 7
The Heart Attack 2 8
The Deal 2 9
The Baby Shower 2 10
The Chinese Restaurant 2 11
The Busboy 2 12
The Note 3 1
The Truth 3 2
The Pen 3 3
The Dog 3 4
The Library 3 5
The Parking Garage 3 6
The Cafe 3 7
The Tape 3 8
The Nose Job 3 9
The Stranded 3 10
The Alternate Side 3 11
The Red Dot 3 12
The Subway 3 13
The Pez Dispenser 3 14
The Suicide 3 15
The Fix Up 3 16
The Boyfriend: Part 1 3 17
The Limo 3 19
The Good Samaritan 3 20
The Letter 3 21
The Parking Space 3 22
The Keys 3 23
The Trip: Part 1 4 1
The Trip: Part 2 4 2
The Pitch 4 3
The Wallet 4 5
The Watch 4 6
The Bubble Boy 4 7
The Cheever Letters 4 8
The Opera 4 9
The Virgin 4 10
The Contest 4 11
The Airport 4 12
The Pick 4 13
The Movie 4 14
The Visa 4 15
The Shoes 4 16
The Outing 4 17
The Old Man 4 18
The Implant 4 19
The Junior Mint 4 20
The Smelly Car 4 21
The Handicap Spot 4 22
The Pilot 4 23
The Mango 5 1
The Puffy Shirt 5 2
The Glasses 5 3
The Sniffing Accountant 5 4
The Bris 5 5
The Lip Reader 5 6
The Non-Fat Yogurt 5 7
The Barber 5 8
The Masseuse 5 9
The Cigar Store Indian 5 10
The Conversion 5 11
The Stall 5 12
The Dinner Party 5 13
The Marine Biologist 5 14
The Pie 5 15
The Stand-In 5 16
The Wife 5 17
The Raincoats 5 18
The Fire 5 19
The Hamptons 5 20
The Opposite 5 21
The Chaperone 6 1
The Big Salad 6 2
The Pledge Drive 6 3
Title Season Episode
The Chinese Woman 6 4
The Couch 6 5
The Gymnast 6 6
The Soup 6 7
The Mom and Pop Store 6 8
The Secretary 6 9
The Race 6 10
The Switch 6 11
The Label Maker 6 12
The Scofflaw 6 13
Highlights of a Hundred 6 14
The Beard 6 15
The Doorman 6 17
The Jimmy 6 18
The Doodle 6 19
The Fusilli Jerry 6 20
The Diplomat's Club 6 21
The Face Painter 6 22
The Understudy 6 23
The Engagement 7 1
The Postponement 7 2
The Maestro 7 3
The Wink 7 4
The Hot Tub 7 5
The Soup Nazi 7 6
The Secret Code 7 7
The Pool Guy 7 8
The Sponge 7 9
The Gum 7 10
The Rye 7 11
The Caddy 7 12
The Seven 7 13
The Cadillac 7 14
The Doll 7 16
The Friars Club 7 17
The Wig Master 7 18
The Calzone 7 19
The Bottle Deposit 7 20
The Wait Out 7 21
The Invitations 7 22
The Foundation 8 1
The Soul Mate 8 2
The Bizarro Jerry 8 3
The Little Kicks 8 4
The Package 8 5
The Fatigues 8 6
The Checks 8 7
The Chicken Roaster 8 8
The Abstinence 8 9
The Andrea Doria 8 10
The Little Jerry 8 11
The Money 8 12
The Comeback 8 13
The Van Buren Boys 8 14
The Susie 8 15
The Pothole 8 16
The English Patient 8 17
The Nap 8 18
The Yada Yada 8 19
The Millennium 8 20
The Muffin Tops 8 21
The Summer of George 8 22
The Butter Shave 9 1
The Voice 9 2
The Serenity Now 9 3
The Blood 9 4
The Junk Mail 9 5
The Merv Griffin Show 9 6
The Slicer 9 7
The Betrayal 9 8
The Apology 9 9
The Strike 9 10
The Dealership 9 11
The Reverse Peephole 9 12
The Cartoon 9 13
The Strongbox 9 14
The Wizard 9 15
The Burning 9 16
The Bookstore 9 17
The Frogger 9 18
The Maid 9 19
The Puerto Rican Day 9 20
The Chronicle 9 21
The Finale 9 23
What is Holland?
"What is Holland?"
Seinfeld
Holland is the Netherlands.
"Holland is the Netherlands."
Seinfeld
You know, I cannot stand this thing anymore.
"You know, I cannot stand this thing anymore."
Seinfeld
We should have taken some kind of vacation.
"We should have taken some kind of vacation."
Seinfeld
-No. -Buzz cuts?
"-No. -Buzz cuts?"
Seinfeld
Damn it.
"Damn it."
Seinfeld
Hey, hey, hey.
"Hey, hey, hey."
Seinfeld
Check me out.
"Check me out."
Seinfeld
With a cane, it's a sad story. You through with those?
"With a cane, it's a sad story. You through with those?"
Seinfeld
-Killed? -Killed.
"-Killed? -Killed."
Seinfeld
Hey, what's your name?
"Hey, what's your name?"
Seinfeld
Well, I'm glad I brought it up.
"Well, I'm glad I brought it up."
Seinfeld
You got any shredded coconut?
"You got any shredded coconut?"
Seinfeld
I got a job interview.
"I got a job interview."
Seinfeld
They wanna see me this afternoon.
"They wanna see me this afternoon."
Seinfeld
-Yeah, this is better. -Yeah.
"-Yeah, this is better. -Yeah."
Seinfeld
Look. Post card from Elaine from Europe.
"Look. Post card from Elaine from Europe."
Seinfeld
Boy, a month in Europe with Elaine.
"Boy, a month in Europe with Elaine."
Seinfeld
That guy's coming home in a body bag.
"That guy's coming home in a body bag."
Seinfeld
Well, let's see, I've got a 1 0 kroner, a 5 kroner...
"Well, let's see, I've got a 1 0 kroner, a 5 kroner..."
Seinfeld
Taking this lace out. It came undone, touched the floor of a men's room.
"Taking this lace out. It came undone, touched the floor of a men's room."
Seinfeld
That's the end of that.
"That's the end of that."
Seinfeld
Did you see Bania's set last night?
"Did you see Bania's set last night?"
Seinfeld
He only does well when he has me for a lead-in.
"He only does well when he has me for a lead-in."
Seinfeld
Jerry, you gotta give him some credit.
"Jerry, you gotta give him some credit."
Seinfeld
I'm shaving with it.
"I'm shaving with it."
Seinfeld
I mean, the shave is close and clean...
"I mean, the shave is close and clean..."
Seinfeld
Handicap? Oh, I'm not handicapped.
"Handicap? Oh, I'm not handicapped."
Seinfeld
Of course, you will have your own private, fully-equipped bathroom.
"Of course, you will have your own private, fully-equipped bathroom."
Seinfeld
Well, whenever you feel that you're able.
"Well, whenever you feel that you're able."
Seinfeld
-They think you're handicapped? -Yeah, yeah.
"-They think you're handicapped? -Yeah, yeah."
Seinfeld
You should see the bathroom they gave me.
"You should see the bathroom they gave me."
Seinfeld
Jerry, let's face it. I've always been handicapped.
"Jerry, let's face it. I've always been handicapped."
Seinfeld
I'm just now getting the recognition for it.
"I'm just now getting the recognition for it."
Seinfeld
Drove a better car than I did.
"Drove a better car than I did."
Seinfeld
What's with all the butter?
"What's with all the butter?"
Seinfeld
My face feels so good, I'm gonna use it all over my body.
"My face feels so good, I'm gonna use it all over my body."
Seinfeld
After dating Jerry, you're a pleasure.
"After dating Jerry, you're a pleasure."
Seinfeld
You miss her.
"You miss her."
Seinfeld
Excuse me, I was sleeping.
"Excuse me, I was sleeping."
Seinfeld
Someone's cooking.
"Someone's cooking."
Seinfeld
Hello, Newman.
"Hello, Newman."
Seinfeld
...and I say, why?
"...and I say, why?"
Seinfeld
You useless pustule.
"You useless pustule."
Seinfeld
You know what I mean?
"You know what I mean?"
Seinfeld
A real cement head.
"A real cement head."
Seinfeld
By making time with some floozy across the aisle?
"By making time with some floozy across the aisle?"
Seinfeld
This guy? Oh, he's an idiot. He doesn't mean anything to me.
"This guy? Oh, he's an idiot. He doesn't mean anything to me."
Seinfeld
Oh, man.
"Oh, man."
Seinfeld
-ls that what the doctor said? -No, I read an article in Bon AppÈtit.
"-ls that what the doctor said? -No, I read an article in Bon AppÈtit."
Seinfeld
-See you. -See you.
"-See you. -See you."
Seinfeld
Well, I was buttering myself up for a nice shave.
"Well, I was buttering myself up for a nice shave."
Seinfeld
Oh, not you too.
"Oh, not you too."
Seinfeld
You know what's good for that? Relish.
"You know what's good for that? Relish."
Seinfeld
Yeah, this is Jerry Seinfeld.
"Yeah, this is Jerry Seinfeld."
Seinfeld
No.
"No."
Seinfeld
No.
"No."
Seinfeld
Thank you.
"Thank you."
Seinfeld
I don't believe this.
"I don't believe this."
Seinfeld
Well, so what? He's got a couple of good jokes.
"Well, so what? He's got a couple of good jokes."
Seinfeld
Shopping carts with one bad wheel?
"Shopping carts with one bad wheel?"
Seinfeld
That's true. That always happens to me.
"That's true. That always happens to me."
Seinfeld
You're a closet Bania fan.
"You're a closet Bania fan."
Seinfeld
We've been together two hours...
"We've been together two hours..."
Seinfeld
Oh, tell me about it. I don't know why I ever took you back.
"Oh, tell me about it. I don't know why I ever took you back."
Seinfeld
...and end this whole thing.
"...and end this whole thing."
Seinfeld
Oh, God.
"Oh, God."
Seinfeld
Oh, yeah.
"Oh, yeah."
Seinfeld
I'll meet you at the coffee shop.
"I'll meet you at the coffee shop."
Seinfeld
What? No, no. Just the old handicap acting up.
"What? No, no. Just the old handicap acting up."
Seinfeld
Yeah, see, when we met...
"Yeah, see, when we met..."
Seinfeld
...I was over there and you were over here...
"...I was over there and you were over here..."
Seinfeld
I think I can see what's going on here.
"I think I can see what's going on here."
Seinfeld
On the house.
"On the house."
Seinfeld
It must comforting to know you'll be going to hell...
"It must comforting to know you'll be going to hell..."
Seinfeld
-Hello? -Jerry.
"-Hello? -Jerry."
Seinfeld
Huge.
"Huge."
Seinfeld
Well, gotta motor.
"Well, gotta motor."
Seinfeld
If you got juice left, you might wanna roll by the showcase tonight.
"If you got juice left, you might wanna roll by the showcase tonight."
Seinfeld
Hey, buddy.
"Hey, buddy."
Seinfeld
George tells me you're gonna throw your set?
"George tells me you're gonna throw your set?"
Seinfeld
Let's see how Bania does without the cushy time slot.
"Let's see how Bania does without the cushy time slot."
Seinfeld
Whoa, man.
"Whoa, man."
Seinfeld
And what's the deal with lamp shades?
"And what's the deal with lamp shades?"
Seinfeld
I have cancer.
"I have cancer."
Seinfeld
Hey. Hey.
"Hey. Hey."
Seinfeld
What you got there, the four volt?
"What you got there, the four volt?"
Seinfeld
The cancer bit.
"The cancer bit."
Seinfeld
A big, fat turkey.
"A big, fat turkey."
Seinfeld
I'll tell you, he worked so hard and then he just blows--
"I'll tell you, he worked so hard and then he just blows--"
Seinfeld
Look at me.
"Look at me."
Seinfeld
Are you a religious man, sir?
"Are you a religious man, sir?"
Seinfeld
-Eat hickory. -No.
"-Eat hickory. -No."
Seinfeld
Kenny, there you are.
"Kenny, there you are."
Seinfeld
Jay Chermack and Stu Crespi from NBC.
"Jay Chermack and Stu Crespi from NBC."
Seinfeld
...a little hackey.
"...a little hackey."
Seinfeld
Looks like I'm following you again.
"Looks like I'm following you again."
Seinfeld
This has been the worst month of my life...
"This has been the worst month of my life..."
Seinfeld
I'm sorry, lady, there's a cab shortage.
"I'm sorry, lady, there's a cab shortage."
Seinfeld
Oh, no.
"Oh, no."
Seinfeld
I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry."
Seinfeld
No, that's the Netherlands.
"No, that's the Netherlands."
Seinfeld
I know, I hate it too. I feel like an out-of-work porn star.
"I know, I hate it too. I feel like an out-of-work porn star."
Seinfeld
-Well, why didn't we? -You said this would be better.
"-Well, why didn't we? -You said this would be better."
Seinfeld
Remember?
"Remember?"
Seinfeld
That's what you said.
"That's what you said."
Seinfeld
-Parachute pants? -Stop it, George. Stop it.
"-Parachute pants? -Stop it, George. Stop it."
Seinfeld
I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry."
Seinfeld
You've gotta get a job.
"You've gotta get a job."
Seinfeld
No more crutches. That must be a relief.
"No more crutches. That must be a relief."
Seinfeld
Yeah. With crutches, everyone has questions.
"Yeah. With crutches, everyone has questions."
Seinfeld
That is a sad story.
"That is a sad story."
Seinfeld
...he wants me to do a showcase.
"...he wants me to do a showcase."
Seinfeld
I might have another shot at a pilot.
"I might have another shot at a pilot."
Seinfeld
All right. We're back in.
"All right. We're back in."
Seinfeld
Ladies and gentlemen, Kenny Bania.
"Ladies and gentlemen, Kenny Bania."
Seinfeld
Thank you. Thank you.
"Thank you. Thank you."
Seinfeld
Hey, Jerry, did you see me up there?
"Hey, Jerry, did you see me up there?"
Seinfeld
I was killing, Jerry. Killing. I killed.
"I was killing, Jerry. Killing. I killed."
Seinfeld
I'm gonna go pick up some chicks.
"I'm gonna go pick up some chicks."
Seinfeld