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Clips from Seinfeld - The Engagement (S07E07)

"No, the queen is old-fashioned. Likes to stay home, cook."
Seinfeld
"Checkmate."
Seinfeld
"I don't think we should see each other anymore."
Seinfeld
"Shut up!"
Seinfeld
"You broke up with her because she beat you at chess?"
Seinfeld
"That's pretty sick."
Seinfeld
"I don't see how I could perform sexually after something like that."
Seinfeld
"If she wants to know if I'm pleased with something, she'll say:"
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"What in God's name are we doing?"
Seinfeld
"- What? - Our lives."
Seinfeld
"Are we gonna be sitting here when we're 60, like two idiots?"
Seinfeld
"I thought she became a lesbian."
Seinfeld
"- I was just curious. - Well, this is it."
Seinfeld
"- Yes, changes. - I'm serious about it."
Seinfeld
"Well, I had a very interesting lunch with George Costanza today."
Seinfeld
"...and we both kind of realized..."
Seinfeld
"...we're kids. We're not men."
Seinfeld
"- There isn't? - Absolutely not."
Seinfeld
"You get up in the morning, she's there."
Seinfeld
"- I'm glad we had this talk. - Oh, you have no idea."
Seinfeld
"There is this dog in the courtyard across from my bedroom window..."
Seinfeld
"You're gonna rub out the dog?"
Seinfeld
"L... I don't really know why I'm here. Kramer talked me into coming here..."
Seinfeld
"But I can promise you this, though:"
Seinfeld
"So, what's it gonna be?"
Seinfeld
"Then he won't bother you anymore and he won't get hurt."
Seinfeld
"Excellent."
Seinfeld
"How come you eat your peas one at a time?"
Seinfeld
"- Oh, my God. - No, it's nothing bad."
Seinfeld
"- Yes. - Oh, I can't believe it."
Seinfeld
"- Hello? - Congratulations."
Seinfeld
"- The dog. You're getting the dog! - Kramer, where you going?"
Seinfeld
"- Did what? - I got engaged. I'm getting married."
Seinfeld
"It's because of that talk we had."
Seinfeld
"- And she said yes? - Well..."
Seinfeld
"Anyway, you should be happy. You're engaged."
Seinfeld
"You thought I was gonna get married?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- This doesn't make any difference. - No."
Seinfeld
"Celebrate! How about some champagne?"
Seinfeld
"- Champagne? - Yes, come on!"
Seinfeld
"- Come on. - Okay. All right."
Seinfeld
"All right, give me the rope."
Seinfeld
"I'm thinking maybe we shouldn't do this."
Seinfeld
"- That's him. - All right."
Seinfeld
"- I don't really think I can go. - Oh, how come?"
Seinfeld
"...and she doesn't really have anything else to do."
Seinfeld
"Well, she doesn't really wanna see Firestorm."
Seinfeld
"- They're playing at the same Cineplex. - George, better get ready."
Seinfeld
"Well, I can guess within the hour, and I don't even have to look at the sun."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, I'll know it if it barks. - All right. Bark."
Seinfeld
"- Think we're far enough? - We're nearly to Monticello."
Seinfeld
"Let go. Let go of my shirt."
Seinfeld
"- Hello. - MSG's rerunning the Yankee game."
Seinfeld
"It's impossible."
Seinfeld
"- Very strange. - I know."
Seinfeld
"So tell me, anyway, who was the big mastermind?"
Seinfeld
"What? What?"
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"I gotta make some changes."
Seinfeld
"Well, you got no place to go."
Seinfeld
"Your problem is you brought your queen out too fast."
Seinfeld
"What do you think, she's a feminist looking to get out of the house?"
Seinfeld
"Shut up, you stupid mutt!"
Seinfeld
"I was completely emasculated."
Seinfeld
"Anyway, it's not the only reason."
Seinfeld
"You wanna know what one of her favourite expressions is:"
Seinfeld
"Happy, pappy?"
Seinfeld
"Happy, pappy? What does that mean?"
Seinfeld
"Happy, pappy?"
Seinfeld
"- Oh, you're pappy. - I'm pappy."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, I get it. I see. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- So that's not so bad. - Come on. What, are you kidding?"
Seinfeld
"So tell her not to say it."
Seinfeld
"I'm much more comfortable criticizing people behind their backs."
Seinfeld
"Look who's talking. You just broke up with Melanie..."
Seinfeld
"...because she shushed you while you watched TV."
Seinfeld
"Hey, I got a real thing about shushing."
Seinfeld
"What is this?"
Seinfeld
"You ever get the feeling like you had a haircut, but you didn't have one?"
Seinfeld
"I'm all itchy back here."
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"- What? - What is this?"
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"What are we doing?"
Seinfeld
"What kind of lives are these?"
Seinfeld
"We come up with all these stupid reasons to break up with women."
Seinfeld
"I know, I know. That's what I do. That's what I do."
Seinfeld
"We should be having dinner with our sons when we're 60."
Seinfeld
"- We're pathetic, you know that? - Like I don't know that I'm pathetic."
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"- Why can't I be normal? - Yes, me too."
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"I wanna be normal. Normal!"
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"It would be nice to care about someone."
Seinfeld
"You know who I think about a lot?"
Seinfeld
"Remember Susan, the one that used to work for NBC?"
Seinfeld
"Did I tell you I ran into her last week? She looked great."
Seinfeld
"You thought she was good-looking, right?"
Seinfeld
"See, there you go again. What is the difference what I think?"
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"I'm really gonna do something about my life."
Seinfeld
"George, I am really gonna make some changes."
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"- Think I'm not? - I'm not kidding."
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"Me too."
Seinfeld
"So we're all straightened out?"
Seinfeld
"You happy, pappy?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, it's just an expression."
Seinfeld
"All right. That's very sweet of you. Okay, I'll call you later. All right. Bye."
Seinfeld
"Hey."
Seinfeld
"- Really? - We were talking about our lives..."
Seinfeld
"So then you asked yourselves, Isn't there something more to life?"
Seinfeld
"Yes, we did."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. Well, let me clue you in on something:"
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"There isn't."
Seinfeld
"I mean, what are you thinking about, Jerry? Marriage? Family?"
Seinfeld
"- Well... - They're prisons."
Seinfeld
"Man-made prisons. You're doing time."
Seinfeld
"You go to sleep at night, she's there."
Seinfeld
"It's like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom."
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"Is it all right if I use the bathroom now?"
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"- Really? - You can forget about watching TV..."
Seinfeld
"...while you're eating."
Seinfeld
"- I can? - Oh, yeah!"
Seinfeld
"You know why? Because it's dinnertime."
Seinfeld
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