Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Seinfeld - The Old Man (S04E04)

"...you'd marry at 9, divorced at 15."
Seinfeld
"In your late teens, you move down to Florida."
Seinfeld
"I guess that's how spring break got started. I don't know."
Seinfeld
"A mute would be good."
Seinfeld
"Where you gonna meet a mute?"
Seinfeld
"A deep, yawning chasm."
Seinfeld
"Well, there's gotta be more to life than this."
Seinfeld
"Listening to you."
Seinfeld
"Your misery is my pleasure."
Seinfeld
"Good. Okay. Well, it's all set. I start tomorrow."
Seinfeld
"The strange thing is, I mean, I haven't even met the woman yet."
Seinfeld
"...and it's supposed to make them feel good."
Seinfeld
"What, do you break it in with her then you try it out on me?"
Seinfeld
"- I am gonna help somebody, damn it. - What about you?"
Seinfeld
"Only successful."
Seinfeld
"...finds the experience extremely rewarding."
Seinfeld
"I mean, I'm feeling like a good person."
Seinfeld
"You think we'll make it to that age?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, that's too bad."
Seinfeld
"- What are you talking about? - Oh, Jerry, I'm surprised at you."
Seinfeld
"Kramer? Kramer?"
Seinfeld
"Come on, I'm in here. Come on."
Seinfeld
"Newman and I are going partners, selling used records."
Seinfeld
"...old-fashioned useless records just lying around, you know-"
Seinfeld
"We'd take them off your hands. Free."
Seinfeld
"...and come back with a gun and shoot everybody?"
Seinfeld
"Just take the records. They're in the bedroom. Take them."
Seinfeld
"- Take anything you want. - Yeah, yeah."
Seinfeld
"Can't walk down the street in South America."
Seinfeld
"Hi. I'm Jerry Seinfeld. The agency sent me."
Seinfeld
"Tries to hypnotize me."
Seinfeld
"But, Mr. Fields, I'm here to spend some time with you."
Seinfeld
"Are you the boyfriend? I know she's got a boyfriend."
Seinfeld
"I can't read that, you fool."
Seinfeld
"Well, take it. I sure as hell am not gonna give it to my family."
Seinfeld
"Well, do you wanna go out and go for a walk, get a cup of coffee?"
Seinfeld
"Well, maybe I'll get going, then."
Seinfeld
"Oh, listen, before you go..."
Seinfeld
"Oh, I feel great for 85."
Seinfeld
"...kind of pushing the envelope there."
Seinfeld
"I'm not afraid to die, and I never think about it."
Seinfeld
"You don't?"
Seinfeld
"It's a matter of simple arithmetic, for God's sake."
Seinfeld
"How can you sit there and look me in the eye..."
Seinfeld
"...and tell me that you're not worried? Don't you have any sense?"
Seinfeld
"Are you so completely senile you don't even know..."
Seinfeld
"Wait a second. Where are you going?"
Seinfeld
"Life's too short to waste on you."
Seinfeld
"That goitre."
Seinfeld
"Hey."
Seinfeld
"Does it bother you?"
Seinfeld
"I mean, you wanna know something?"
Seinfeld
"I wish I had one."
Seinfeld
"I mean, I keep thinking that goitre's gonna start talking to me."
Seinfeld
"Well, I'd rather talk to a goitre with a nice disposition..."
Seinfeld
"I don't think it's gonna work out."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, I'm a great quitter."
Seinfeld
"I come from a long line of quitters."
Seinfeld
"Well, here's your albums."
Seinfeld
"Sinatra, Duke Ellington, Al Jolson, Benny Goodman."
Seinfeld
"Wild, wild stuff."
Seinfeld
"So you don't speak any English at all?"
Seinfeld
"You said they could come and take the records."
Seinfeld
"It's like watching a couple of hyenas going through the garbage."
Seinfeld
"Where's his teeth? Where's his teeth?"
Seinfeld
"- Downtown. - All right."
Seinfeld
"He can't have gotten far."
Seinfeld
"...just staring out the window..."
Seinfeld
"The passion."
Seinfeld
"You had an affair with Gandhi?"
Seinfeld
"...and he'd rub it all over my body."
Seinfeld
"Here. Look."
Seinfeld
"Twenty bucks."
Seinfeld
"That's it. Get out of my store."
Seinfeld
"Our agency's sole purpose is to care for senior citizens."
Seinfeld
"...destroyed our reputation."
Seinfeld
"I don't know what happened. We tried to take him to the dentist."
Seinfeld
"Why were you taking him to the dentist?"
Seinfeld
"What were they doing in the apartment?"
Seinfeld
"Well, the line's busy now."
Seinfeld
"We..."
Seinfeld
"We talked for hours."
Seinfeld
"We were getting along real good..."
Seinfeld
"They just go, I'm old. I've been waiting a long time."
Seinfeld
"And then once they get out there they drive so slowly."
Seinfeld
"I think old people should be allowed to drive their age."
Seinfeld
"Which, in our terms, would mean you get your driver's license around 5..."
Seinfeld
"His mind is so sharp, you would think you're talking to a 2-year-old."
Seinfeld
"When I like them, they don't like me. When they like me, I don't like them."
Seinfeld
"Well, you've only got another 50 years or so to go and it'll all be over."
Seinfeld
"This is what my life has come to: Trying to meet a mute."
Seinfeld
"I don't know, Jerry. Something's missing."
Seinfeld
"There's a void, Jerry. There's a void."
Seinfeld
"What gives you pleasure?"
Seinfeld
"I listen to this for 15 minutes, I'm on top of the world."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, boys. - Hey, how you doing?"
Seinfeld
"- Start what? - I signed up to do volunteer work..."
Seinfeld
"- ... with senior citizens. - Really?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah. God. I can't tell you how I feel."
Seinfeld
"I mean, I feel so good. I really feel good."
Seinfeld
"- Volunteer work? - What are you gonna do down there?"
Seinfeld
"They say all it is is you go over to their apartment and..."
Seinfeld
"...you take them out for a walk and you get a cup of coffee..."
Seinfeld
"That's what I do with him."
Seinfeld
"Wait. When did you get this idea?"
Seinfeld
"Last time I had lunch with you here."
Seinfeld
"You were going on and on and on about how you wanna..."
Seinfeld
"...meet somebody who didn't speak English."
Seinfeld
"- And anybody could do this? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Really?"
Seinfeld
"Helping people."
Seinfeld
"Of course."
Seinfeld
"Of course."
Seinfeld
"It makes perfect sense."
Seinfeld
"How could I not be doing this?"
Seinfeld
"No, it's not for me."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, if anybody should be doing this, it's you."
Seinfeld
"What kind of a person are you?"
Seinfeld
"I think I'm pretty much like you."
Seinfeld
"This is a wonderful thing. They're so grateful..."
Seinfeld
Show more clips