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Clips from Seinfeld - The Serenity Now (S09E09)

"I got no legroom back here. Move your seat forward."
Seinfeld
"It's as far as it goes."
Seinfeld
"There's a mechanism. You just pull it and throw your body weight."
Seinfeld
"I pulled it, it doesn't go."
Seinfeld
"If you want the legroom, say you want the room. Don't blame the mechanism."
Seinfeld
"All right, Dad, we're five blocks from the house. Sit sideways."
Seinfeld
"Like an animal. Because of her, I have to sit like an animal."
Seinfeld
"Serenity now! Serenity now!"
Seinfeld
"What is that?"
Seinfeld
"Doctor gave me a relaxation cassette."
Seinfeld
"When my blood pressure gets too high..."
Seinfeld
"...the man on the tape tells me to say, "Serenity now.""
Seinfeld
"Are you supposed to yell it?"
Seinfeld
"The man on the tape wasn't specific."
Seinfeld
"What happened to the screen door? It blew off again?"
Seinfeld
"I told you to fix that thing."
Seinfeld
"Serenity now!"
Seinfeld
"I told Bobby and Lisa we'd try that new Chinese-Spanish place on Saturday."
Seinfeld
"Thought we had tickets to the Knicks home opener."
Seinfeld
"Well, I thought this would be more fun so I gave the tickets away."
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"All right, fine."
Seinfeld
"Are you mad at me?"
Seinfeld
"No, I love a good Chinese-Spanish whatever it is."
Seinfeld
"You know, I've never seen you mad."
Seinfeld
"I get peeved."
Seinfeld
"- Mad. - Miffed."
Seinfeld
"- Mad. - Irked?"
Seinfeld
"I would like to see you get really mad."
Seinfeld
"Why does she want you to be mad?"
Seinfeld
"She says I suppress my emotions."
Seinfeld
"So, what do you care what she thinks?"
Seinfeld
"Good body."
Seinfeld
"She probably gets that impression because you're cool."
Seinfeld
"You're under control. Like me. Nothing wrong with that."
Seinfeld
"But I get upset. I've yelled. You've heard me yell."
Seinfeld
"Not really. Your voice kind of raises to this comedic pitch."
Seinfeld
"Hey."
Seinfeld
"Kramer, I am so sick of you coming in here and eating all of my food."
Seinfeld
"Now, shut that door and get the hell out of here."
Seinfeld
"What is that, a new bit?"
Seinfeld
"I told you."
Seinfeld
"Any of you wanna come and help me fix my father's screen door in Queens?"
Seinfeld
"Sorry, I'm fixing a screen door in the Bronx."
Seinfeld
"- I'll do it. - Really, you wanna come?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, I love going to the country."
Seinfeld
"- Where are they going? - Fix a screen door in Queens."
Seinfeld
"That's funny."
Seinfeld
"Hey, listen, what are you doing Saturday?"
Seinfeld
"Not going to the Knick game."
Seinfeld
"I need somebody to go with me to Mr. Lippman's son's bar mitzvah."
Seinfeld
"You know, if you don't bring a guest, they save on catering."
Seinfeld
"- Should be able to buy a cheaper gift. - Oh, I don't think that's possible."
Seinfeld
"And get a little closer because I can't see the screen door."
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- Perfect. - Dad, the hinges are all rusted here."
Seinfeld
"That's why the wind keeps blowing the door off."
Seinfeld
"I hate that old door. Throw it out!"
Seinfeld
"Serenity now."
Seinfeld
"Might be time to just let her go, Frank. She's worked hard for you."
Seinfeld
"- Will you put her to rest for me? - Oh, yeah."
Seinfeld
"- I'll take good care of her. - Okay."
Seinfeld
"And get George to put those boxes in the garage."
Seinfeld
"- Dad, what is all this? - It's junk."
Seinfeld
"My computers. I've been selling them for two months now."
Seinfeld
"Shut up."
Seinfeld
"You're selling computers?"
Seinfeld
"Two months ago, I saw a provocative movie on cable TV."
Seinfeld
"It was called The Net, with that girl from the bus."
Seinfeld
"I did a little reading and I realized it wasn't that far-fetched."
Seinfeld
"Dad, do you know what it takes to compete with Microsoft and IBM?"
Seinfeld
"Yes, I do. That's why I've got a secret weapon."
Seinfeld
"My son."
Seinfeld
"Damn it, they gave me cream. I asked for nonfat milk."
Seinfeld
"I think they have one percent over there."
Seinfeld
"One percent? They can kiss one percent of my ass."
Seinfeld
"Okay, Jerry, enough. I'm not buying it."
Seinfeld
"You're damn right you're not buying it."
Seinfeld
"You shouldn't have to try. It's just being open."
Seinfeld
"I'm open. There's just nothing in there."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, you think I'm lying? - I think you are."
Seinfeld
"- Well, I'm not. - Yes, you are. Liar."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, stop it. - Okay, liar."
Seinfeld
"That's enough."
Seinfeld
"That was good."
Seinfeld
"Really? It felt good."
Seinfeld
"Congratulations, Mr. Lippman."
Seinfeld
"Oh, Elaine."
Seinfeld
"My boy's a man today. Can you believe it?"
Seinfeld
"- He's a man. - Oh, congratulations, Adam."
Seinfeld
"I'm a man."
Seinfeld
"- Tongue? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"I didn't try that till I was 23."
Seinfeld
"Well, this kid's not just a man, he's a man's man."
Seinfeld
"And I think he's been telling his friends."
Seinfeld
"I got invitations to six more bar mitzvahs."
Seinfeld
"Hello? Yeah, this is Jerry Seinfeld. No. No. No."
Seinfeld
"I do not wanna stop over in Cincinnati."
Seinfeld
"Well, then you upgrade me."
Seinfeld
"That's right, you should thank me. Goodbye."
Seinfeld
"Hey, I'm flying first class."
Seinfeld
"Where did that come from?"
Seinfeld
"Patty showed me how to get mad."
Seinfeld
"You got a problem with that?"
Seinfeld
"- No. - Good."
Seinfeld
"All right, relax, tough guy."
Seinfeld
"I gotta get out to my father's garage. Help him sell computers."
Seinfeld
"The two of you working in that garage is like a steel-cage death match."
Seinfeld
"- Kramer? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"What are you doing?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, I'm putting up Frank's screen door."
Seinfeld
"This beauty has got a little life in her yet."
Seinfeld
"What do you need it for?"
Seinfeld
"The cool evening breezes of Anytown, U.S.A."
Seinfeld
"See how this baby closes."
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah."
Seinfeld
"- Morning, Ma. - You're late."
Seinfeld
"- Morning, Dad. - I'm not Dad in the work place."
Seinfeld
"My professional name is Mr. Costanza..."
Seinfeld
"...and I will refer to you as Costanza."
Seinfeld
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