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Clips from Seinfeld - The Dealership (S09E09)

"Yeah, they have been promising that."
Seinfeld
"What do you think the big holdup is?"
Seinfeld
"Hey, George, I'm buying this car."
Seinfeld
"Thank you."
Seinfeld
"All the kids are shouting at me, Hey, Le George. Bonjour, Le George."
Seinfeld
"I don't think this thing is hooked up right."
Seinfeld
"...took me out to celebrate his promotion."
Seinfeld
"Make this next right and swing back to the dealership."
Seinfeld
"I saw one that could do sign language."
Seinfeld
"Hey, hey, hey. What's going on here?"
Seinfeld
"You didn't agree to anything."
Seinfeld
"Slapping hands is the lowest form of male-primate ritual."
Seinfeld
"It's that bad?"
Seinfeld
"Hey, Puddy thinks I should go for the CD player. What do you think?"
Seinfeld
"Come on."
Seinfeld
"Jump!"
Seinfeld
"So you wanna know how far you can drive your friend's car for free."
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah? I'll tell you what's stupid."
Seinfeld
"That's right. High-five, on the flip side."
Seinfeld
"Just left out a couple of things. Rustproofing."
Seinfeld
"Storage surcharge. Additional overcharge."
Seinfeld
"- Finder's fee. - Finder's fee? It was on the lot."
Seinfeld
"- And floor mats, keys. - Keys?"
Seinfeld
"How are you gonna start it?"
Seinfeld
"You must think I'm pretty stupid."
Seinfeld
"You know you're getting a little vein there?"
Seinfeld
"I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen. No."
Seinfeld
"When we started this deal, I thought things were gonna be different."
Seinfeld
"I need to know the name of that mechanic that walks around here."
Seinfeld
"George, would you help me, please?"
Seinfeld
"Just because a candy bar fails to fall from its perch-"
Seinfeld
"- Does not imply transfer of ownership."
Seinfeld
"Hey, George."
Seinfeld
"Is it just the angle I'm looking from?"
Seinfeld
"All right, I'm satisfied. We better get some gas."
Seinfeld
"- They drove to a dealership? - No, they drove off a cliff."
Seinfeld
"- Who is this? What? - Elaine."
Seinfeld
"Sir, what exactly is the problem?"
Seinfeld
"- What about the $100,000 bar? - No, rice and caramel."
Seinfeld
"They all have swirling chocolate in the commercial."
Seinfeld
"Then we'll talk about the car."
Seinfeld
"Listen to me. When that car rolls into that dealership..."
Seinfeld
"- It's Rick, by the way. - No time."
Seinfeld
"...with no wrappers or identification of any kind..."
Seinfeld
"...for him to select from."
Seinfeld
"Only I hold the answer key to their true candy identities."
Seinfeld
"- Well, that's not bad. - I can live with that."
Seinfeld
"Well, that's a weird thing to say."
Seinfeld
"When are they gonna have the flying cars?"
Seinfeld
"Years. When we were kids it seemed like it was around the corner."
Seinfeld
"I think Ed Begley Jr. has one."
Seinfeld
"No, that's just electric."
Seinfeld
"What about Harrison Ford? He had one in Blade Runner."
Seinfeld
"Well, what's the competition? Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?"
Seinfeld
"The government is very touchy about us being in the air."
Seinfeld
"Let us run on the ground much as we want."
Seinfeld
"Anything in the air is a big production."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, right. And what about the floating cities?"
Seinfeld
"- And the underwater bubble cities? - It's like we're living in the '50s here."
Seinfeld
"That's good suspension."
Seinfeld
"What is wrong with you? You never tell them you like the car."
Seinfeld
"You're not sure what you want. You don't even know why you're here."
Seinfeld
"That vein again."
Seinfeld
"- I'm starving. I should've had lunch. - It'll be 20 minutes."
Seinfeld
"I told you, Puddy's getting me an insider deal."
Seinfeld
"Since when is Elaine's boyfriend selling cars?"
Seinfeld
"- I thought he was a mechanic. - I guess he graduated."
Seinfeld
"Easy move. Go from screwing you behind your back..."
Seinfeld
"...to screwing you right to your face."
Seinfeld
"Puddy's just gonna give you the car, huh? You'll see."
Seinfeld
"They stick you with the undercoating, rustproofing, dealer prep."
Seinfeld
"Suddenly you're on your back like a turtle."
Seinfeld
"- All right, calm down. - My father had a car-salesman buddy."
Seinfeld
"He was gonna fix him up real nice."
Seinfeld
"Next thing I know, I'm getting dropped off in a Le Car with a fabric sunroof."
Seinfeld
"Let's stuff Le George in Le Locker."
Seinfeld
"All right, we're going in."
Seinfeld
"You got a good eye there."
Seinfeld
"I see you've noticed the unibody construction."
Seinfeld
"I'm Rick. Are you looking to buy or to lease?"
Seinfeld
"Borrow. From my friend. Yeah, he'll by buying it."
Seinfeld
"- Maybe I should talk to him. - Oh, I don't think so."
Seinfeld
"No, he's an entertainer."
Seinfeld
"You know, all over the place. That's where I come in."
Seinfeld
"- I see. So you're his manag-? - Neighbor. That's right."
Seinfeld
"Why don't we take this boiler out for a shakedown, huh?"
Seinfeld
"Look at these salesmen."
Seinfeld
"The only thing these guys fear is the walkout."
Seinfeld
"No matter what they say, you say:"
Seinfeld
"- I'll walk out of here right now. - Can I help you with something?"
Seinfeld
"Hold it. One more step and we're walking!"
Seinfeld
"George. Sorry, we're just waiting for David Puddy."
Seinfeld
"He is. You don't know what I'm doing."
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - Hey."
Seinfeld
"- Sorry I'm late. - My new salesman boyfriend..."
Seinfeld
"Oh, where'd you go?"
Seinfeld
"- To a restaurant. - Arby's."
Seinfeld
"I had the roast beef."
Seinfeld
"All right, classic. High-five."
Seinfeld
"Can you tell me where the Xerox machine is?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, sure, babe. Salesmen-only copy room right there."
Seinfeld
"Come on, I'll show you the 900."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, you show us the 900."
Seinfeld
"And look at these features, Mr. Kramer."
Seinfeld
"Antilock brakes, automatic climate control-"
Seinfeld
"Make a right at this corner, please."
Seinfeld
"- An adjustable steering wheel and- Oh, Mr. Kramer, you missed the turn."
Seinfeld
"- No, no, no, I didn't. - Well, that's okay."
Seinfeld
"Well, it's a test drive, right? I never drive around here."
Seinfeld
"If I'm gonna recommend this car..."
Seinfeld
"...I need to see that it'll handle my daily routine."
Seinfeld
"Well, where're we going?"
Seinfeld
"Just a little place I like to call You'll See."
Seinfeld
"I'm starving."
Seinfeld
"You got any of those free doughnuts you use to soften people up?"
Seinfeld
"By the Service Department."
Seinfeld
"All right, remember, no rustproofing. Commit to nothing."
Seinfeld
"If you have to speak, mumble."
Seinfeld
"- Au revoir, Le George. - Don't think it can't happen."
Seinfeld
"Puddy, this is a pretty good move for you."
Seinfeld
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