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Clips from Seinfeld - The Contest (S04E04)

"But you still kind of maintain the image in your head:"
Seinfeld
"...because somebody had a little too much wine with dinner."
Seinfeld
"You're there for a long time."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, Georgie. - Hi."
Seinfeld
"I was alone..."
Seinfeld
"...and I went inside for a few minutes."
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"Nobody was there. They're supposed to be working."
Seinfeld
"First she screams, "George, what are you doing? My God!""
Seinfeld
"I didn't know whether to keep her from falling or zip up."
Seinfeld
"I know. I'm sorry. It's serious."
Seinfeld
"...that again."
Seinfeld
"It's like shaving."
Seinfeld
"Obviously, we all know each other very well."
Seinfeld
"Yes, of course I'm gonna come by."
Seinfeld
"My mother wants me to see a psychiatrist now."
Seinfeld
"Why? Because she caught me?"
Seinfeld
"I got my troops amassed along the border."
Seinfeld
"Who walks around the house like that?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- Not me. - Not me."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, well, the waitress should've taken it back."
Seinfeld
"Wow, that was fast."
Seinfeld
"You know, you better be careful, buddy. She'll get you next."
Seinfeld
"I don't understand you. I really don't."
Seinfeld
"You have nothing better to do at 3:00 in the afternoon?"
Seinfeld
"Ma..."
Seinfeld
"People can hear you."
Seinfeld
"You'd be very successful at it."
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"- I want you to go see somebody. - Well, I am not going."
Seinfeld
"...what are you doing now?"
Seinfeld
"Let me help you off with that. Here, just slip it over your head."
Seinfeld
"Well, it's about time."
Seinfeld
"Good morning."
Seinfeld
"So you're still master of your domain."
Seinfeld
"Master of my domain."
Seinfeld
"I am going over to her apartment..."
Seinfeld
"Do you hear what you're saying? Can you hear it?"
Seinfeld
"This is a beautiful woman walking around naked..."
Seinfeld
"...and you wanna tell her to stop?"
Seinfeld
"The nurse was giving her a sponge bath?"
Seinfeld
"I am king of the county."
Seinfeld
"Listen, listen. Then I showered, and I dressed..."
Seinfeld
"So we get in the cab, and I mean, I have no idea where I'm going, right?"
Seinfeld
"My mother is in the hospital. I'm gonna pay her a visit."
Seinfeld
"You-know-who isn't here."
Seinfeld
"John Kennedy asked about me? What did he say?"
Seinfeld
"He wanted to know your situation."
Seinfeld
"Okay. All right, talk to you later. Bye."
Seinfeld
"All through the day"
Seinfeld
"They looked so good, I had to have them!"
Seinfeld
"- Oh, boy. Oh, boy. - What are we doing here?"
Seinfeld
"- This is ridiculous. - You believe this? We're fighting."
Seinfeld
"I'm yelling at strangers on the street."
Seinfeld
"I figured you'd cruise, at least through the spring."
Seinfeld
"All right, Costanza..."
Seinfeld
"And then, there were two."
Seinfeld
"- Really? - Yes."
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"- You sure? - Yes."
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"- You really want to? - I do. I'm ready."
Seinfeld
"- What do you mean? - It's kind of silly, but..."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, my God. I gotta go. - No, no, he just left."
Seinfeld
"Marla?"
Seinfeld
"Men wanna see women naked."
Seinfeld
"If women always wore hats in public, all the time..."
Seinfeld
"...you know, Skulls of the Big 10."
Seinfeld
"...where everybody is naked?"
Seinfeld
"How could you have a strip club there?"
Seinfeld
"Woman takes off the necklace and the nose ring, that's it, show's over."
Seinfeld
"Don't visualize your parents having sex."
Seinfeld
"You know what I mean? It's somehow very uncomfortable."
Seinfeld
"I don't know if that actually happened. ""
Seinfeld
"I'd be happy to hear that. That means technically..."
Seinfeld
"...it's possible, that my mother and father are just really great friends."
Seinfeld
"Sex is great, but you don't wanna think your whole life began..."
Seinfeld
"Let me ask you a question."
Seinfeld
"You're a hostage captured by terrorists."
Seinfeld
"- Who, me? - You, anybody. Whatever."
Seinfeld
"You're in the little room. You're chained to the floor."
Seinfeld
"Do you think they would consider doing laundry?"
Seinfeld
"They have to. It's in the Geneva Convention."
Seinfeld
"You. Take off your socks and pants. We're doing the wash."
Seinfeld
"Come on. Take it off. Take it off."
Seinfeld
"What's the matter?"
Seinfeld
"My mother caught me."
Seinfeld
"Caught you? Doing what?"
Seinfeld
"You know."
Seinfeld
"You mean..?"
Seinfeld
"- She caught you? - Where?"
Seinfeld
"I stopped by the house to drop the car off..."
Seinfeld
"My mother had a Glamour magazine. I started leafing through it."
Seinfeld
"Glamour?"
Seinfeld
"- So one thing led to another. - What did she do?"
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"Looked like she was gonna faint."
Seinfeld
"She started clutching the wall, trying to hang onto it."
Seinfeld
"- So she fell? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Well, I couldn't run over there the way I was."
Seinfeld
"- No, I guess you couldn't. - I wouldn't think so."
Seinfeld
"So she fell, and then she starts screaming, "My back, my back!""
Seinfeld
"I picked her up. I took her to the hospital."
Seinfeld
"- How is she? - She's in traction."
Seinfeld
"- I'm sorry. - It's not funny, Elaine."
Seinfeld
"All she said on the way over in the car was, "Why, George, why?""
Seinfeld
"I said, "Because it's there. ""
Seinfeld
"I'll tell you this, though:"
Seinfeld
"What? You mean in your mother's house or altogether?"
Seinfeld
"- Altogether. - Give me a break."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, right."
Seinfeld
"- You think you could? - I could hold out longer than you."
Seinfeld
"Care to make it interesting?"
Seinfeld
"Sure. How much?"
Seinfeld
"Hundred dollars?"
Seinfeld
"You're on."
Seinfeld
"Wait a second. Wait a second. Count me in on this."
Seinfeld
"You? You'll be out before we get the check."
Seinfeld
"I want in on this."
Seinfeld
"- No, no. - It's apples and oranges."
Seinfeld
"- It's different. - Why? Why?"
Seinfeld
"- Because you're a woman. - So what?"
Seinfeld
"It's easier for a woman not to do it than a man. We have to do it."
Seinfeld
"It's part of our lifestyle."
Seinfeld
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