You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Seinfeld - The Apology (S09E09)

"Melissa, waffles are ready."
Seinfeld
"She ate breakfast naked?"
Seinfeld
"Why now?"
Seinfeld
"Still with the neck hole?"
Seinfeld
"Regardless, I had to walk around for the rest of the party..."
Seinfeld
"...we're the only ones in this bathroom."
Seinfeld
"That's an hour ago. What were you doing in there?"
Seinfeld
"That's kooky talk."
Seinfeld
"All right. Whiff away."
Seinfeld
"...and I see Peggy using a seat protector."
Seinfeld
"-So? -We're the only women on the floor."
Seinfeld
"-All right. I'll get that. -All right. It's just--"
Seinfeld
"Sixty-six points."
Seinfeld
"I'd accuse you of cheating, but where would you hide the tiles?"
Seinfeld
"Everything goes with naked."
Seinfeld
"When you cough, there are thousands of unseen muscles..."
Seinfeld
"...in his stomach in slow motion."
Seinfeld
"Naked hair brushing, good. Naked crouching, bad."
Seinfeld
"Listen, I just got sober..."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. Making amends."
Seinfeld
"Important step."
Seinfeld
"Anyway, Jerry, you know, this may sound dumb..."
Seinfeld
"So I'm sorry."
Seinfeld
"Great. Great."
Seinfeld
"-You've got some suds over here. -What?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, man."
Seinfeld
"Well, Jerry, you know I can't do that."
Seinfeld
"He has to do is count his blessings, say a prayer and he's done."
Seinfeld
"Oh, thanks, Walter."
Seinfeld
"Guys, there's no doubt that the pay is good."
Seinfeld
"I don't know if I'm into that."
Seinfeld
"I didn't get my apology."
Seinfeld
"George, come on. Not that neck-hole thing."
Seinfeld
"All right, George, all right. I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry."
Seinfeld
"I'm so sorry that I didn't want your rather bulbous head..."
Seinfeld
"You got a steak?"
Seinfeld
"Here you go."
Seinfeld
"Thanks, buddy."
Seinfeld
"I gotta clean those bearings. Hold this."
Seinfeld
"It's gonna leave a welt. Look at that."
Seinfeld
"What is it about me that you find so offensive?"
Seinfeld
"I happen to have a very steady boyfriend."
Seinfeld
"...and there has been an occasional guy here or there, but--"
Seinfeld
"I'll give you some germs."
Seinfeld
"How about some for your keyboard, huh?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I hit the wall yesterday with Lady Godiva."
Seinfeld
"Did you explain about the good naked and the bad naked?"
Seinfeld
"Where am I gonna get a fat guy and a cannonball?"
Seinfeld
"Well, what if you showed her bad naked, huh?"
Seinfeld
"...kicking up sawdust."
Seinfeld
"I'm trying to get out of the shower sooner."
Seinfeld
"I got a waterproof phone, I shaved, I brushed my teeth..."
Seinfeld
"-When are you getting out? -I'm not. I'll see you later, buddy."
Seinfeld
"Oh, come on. We all have intense malaise, right?"
Seinfeld
"I just spoke with her, Elaine."
Seinfeld
"She thinks I made her sick because I coughed on her doorknob..."
Seinfeld
"...rubbed her stapler in my armpit and put her keyboard on my butt."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. She's a wacko."
Seinfeld
"-So you're Jason Hanky's supervisor. -Sponsor."
Seinfeld
"...you can go through them pretty fast."
Seinfeld
"Is there some unresolved issue between you and Jason?"
Seinfeld
"Well, aren't you the boss of him?"
Seinfeld
"When I was in Cub Scouts, I got stuck on Webelos..."
Seinfeld
"I think you should drop him down to Step 2."
Seinfeld
"Admit there's a higher power?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, let him chew on that for a while."
Seinfeld
"You know, George, I think I can help you."
Seinfeld
"Lomez, you're not listening. Jerry likes the naked."
Seinfeld
"Calm down. I'm on your side."
Seinfeld
"Jeez. Hey, hold on a second."
Seinfeld
"-What? Rage-aholics? -George, this can help you."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me. We have a no-yelling policy at these meetings."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me. Am I talking to you, pinhead? Am l?"
Seinfeld
"Please, don't call me pinhead."
Seinfeld
"This bread has nuts in it."
Seinfeld
"Chicken wing shoulder blades."
Seinfeld
"Well, female body is a work of art."
Seinfeld
"The male body is utilitarian. It's for getting around. It's like a Jeep."
Seinfeld
"It's simian."
Seinfeld
"Dismantle latch hasp beneath main drainage line."
Seinfeld
"Oh, come on, Clarkman."
Seinfeld
"You gotta dismantle the latch hasp from the auxiliary drainage line."
Seinfeld
"I'll call you. I'll talk you through it."
Seinfeld
"...but I assure you, I don't have any problem with germs."
Seinfeld
"...would have sent me running for the pHisoHex."
Seinfeld
"-Really? -I still have trouble looking..."
Seinfeld
"...at those disgusting old bedroom slippers she slobs around in."
Seinfeld
"Okay. We're broken up for the rest of the day."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, are you listening to me?"
Seinfeld
"I kept trying to picture her naked..."
Seinfeld
"...she kept trying to not picture me naked."
Seinfeld
"Hang on."
Seinfeld
"I just started yesterday."
Seinfeld
"...and I've thought it over and you know..."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me, Jason."
Seinfeld
"I don't wanna get into a big thing here but I'm not sure if technically..."
Seinfeld
"I'm interacting with someone here, if you can understand that."
Seinfeld
"I'm not saying anything to you. I'm not sorry. I was never sorry."
Seinfeld
"What are you looking at?"
Seinfeld
"This food is fantastic, Kramer."
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"What are you guys doing here?"
Seinfeld
"He never apologized to me..."
Seinfeld
"Oh, fantastic. I'm starving."
Seinfeld
"How about that?"
Seinfeld
"She didn't even want a napkin."
Seinfeld
"It's like you're living in the Playboy Mansion."
Seinfeld
"Did she--? Did she frolic?"
Seinfeld
"I don't have enough room."
Seinfeld
"-Hey, Laney, Puddy. -Hey."
Seinfeld
"-Hi. -Hey."
Seinfeld
"-I gotta make a pit stop. -Okay."
Seinfeld
"Back together?"
Seinfeld
"His apartment was being fumigated. We thought we'd give it another shot."
Seinfeld
"So guess who called me last night? Jason Hanky."
Seinfeld
"Stanky Hanky? What did he want?"
Seinfeld
"He called to apologize for standing me up five years ago."
Seinfeld
"A.A. It's one of the 1 2 steps."
Seinfeld
"Step number 9 is you have to apologize..."
Seinfeld
"...to everyone you've ever wronged."
Seinfeld
Show more clips