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Clips from Seinfeld - The Abstinence (S08E08)

"Say me, you and Kramer are flying over the Andes."
Seinfeld
"Why are we flying over the Andes?"
Seinfeld
"We got a soccer game in Chile. Anyway, the plane crashes."
Seinfeld
"-Who are you gonna eat to survive? -Kramer."
Seinfeld
"-So fast? What about me? -No."
Seinfeld
"Kramer's so stringy. I'm plump, juicy."
Seinfeld
"Kramer's got more muscle, higher protein content. It's better for you."
Seinfeld
"-Well, I would eat you. -That's very nice, I guess."
Seinfeld
"Why wouldn't you eat me? I'm your best friend."
Seinfeld
"If other people are having some, I'll try you."
Seinfeld
"Thank you."
Seinfeld
"-Can I have a piece of that? -No."
Seinfeld
"George, I can't have sex."
Seinfeld
"With me, or in general?"
Seinfeld
"I went to the doctor today. I have mono."
Seinfeld
"Nucleosis?"
Seinfeld
"-I hope that's not a problem for you. -No, no."
Seinfeld
"So how long is this not gonna be a problem for me?"
Seinfeld
"-Six weeks? -Yeah, six weeks."
Seinfeld
"So what? You've gone six weeks before."
Seinfeld
"I can do six weeks standing on my head."
Seinfeld
"I'm like a sexual camel. That's not the point."
Seinfeld
"At least there was the possibility."
Seinfeld
"-You gonna break up with her? -I don't know."
Seinfeld
"-I don't wanna be one of those guys. -What guys?"
Seinfeld
"Like us."
Seinfeld
"-So it's just mono. -Mono?"
Seinfeld
"Well, if anybody needs any medical advice..."
Seinfeld
"...Laney met a doctor, and he's unattached."
Seinfeld
"I thought the whole dream of dating a doctor was debunked?"
Seinfeld
"No, it's not debunk. It's totally bunk."
Seinfeld
"Isn't bunk bad? Like, that's a lot of bunk?"
Seinfeld
"No, something is bunk, then you debunk it."
Seinfeld
"-What? -I think."
Seinfeld
"Lookit. I'm dating a doctor, and I like it. Let's just move on."
Seinfeld
"-Hello. Oh, hi, Katie. -Jerry."
Seinfeld
"Something came up for Tuesday at the Dayton Civic Centre."
Seinfeld
"-That's Ohio, Jerry. -I've heard of Ohio, Katie..."
Seinfeld
"...but Tuesday's no good. I'm doing Career Day at my junior high."
Seinfeld
"Okay, Jerry, that's fine."
Seinfeld
"-All right. -Katie works for Jerry."
Seinfeld
"-Yes, all right, Katie. Thank you. Yes. -Sorry for the late notice."
Seinfeld
"-Bye. Bye. -Okay, you're the--"
Seinfeld
"-They asked you to do Career Day? -Yeah, it's no big thing."
Seinfeld
"With due respect, I went there..."
Seinfeld
"...and I work for a World Series-winning team."
Seinfeld
"And you were integral."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, so nice of you to come down here."
Seinfeld
"I'm on next, right?"
Seinfeld
"Well, unfortunately, Mr. Amiry, from the Bronx Zoo...."
Seinfeld
"-The guy with the lizard? -Yes."
Seinfeld
"Well, he started feeding it crickets, and the children just love him..."
Seinfeld
"...and we're out of time."
Seinfeld
"So can you come back tomorrow?"
Seinfeld
"I'm getting bumped? You're bumping me from Career Day?"
Seinfeld
"So do most doctors like ER, or do you guys just think it's fake?"
Seinfeld
"I couldn't tell you. You know, I'm not really a doctor."
Seinfeld
"Then I'm not really attracted you."
Seinfeld
"I'm serious, Elaine. I went to med school..."
Seinfeld
"...but I still have to pass my licensing exam."
Seinfeld
"When do you take this exam?"
Seinfeld
"I've taken it three times. I almost passed the last one."
Seinfeld
"But you're basically a doctor. I mean, people do call you doctor?"
Seinfeld
"-Well.... -Can I introduce you as doctor?"
Seinfeld
"-Yeah. -All right. That's all I wanted to know."
Seinfeld
"Mono."
Seinfeld
"It was fantastic."
Seinfeld
"-We wound up talking all night. -You're enjoying the not enjoying."
Seinfeld
"You know, just by conversing, you can really learn a lot about a person."
Seinfeld
"I'm finding that out."
Seinfeld
"-Hey, buddy. -Hey."
Seinfeld
"How was Career Day?"
Seinfeld
"I didn't get on. The lizard guy went long."
Seinfeld
"-You got bumped from Career Day? -lt was a mix-up, I'm sure."
Seinfeld
"Sounds like they're trying to screw with your head."
Seinfeld
"Now, why would a junior high school wanna screw with my head?"
Seinfeld
"Why does Radio Shack ask for your phone number..."
Seinfeld
"...when you buy batteries?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know."
Seinfeld
"Hey, hey. Kramer, what are you doing?"
Seinfeld
"-You can't smoke in here. -Oh, go on."
Seinfeld
"-Hey, take it outside. -Come on, Larry. You know me."
Seinfeld
"It bothers people, and it's against the law."
Seinfeld
"You can make all the laws you want. He's still gonna bother people."
Seinfeld
"-What, did they kick you out too? -Yeah, they kicked us all out."
Seinfeld
"Thanks for coming back. Graham cracker?"
Seinfeld
"No, let's just do it."
Seinfeld
"What? What is going on? What is that about?"
Seinfeld
"Fire drill. Sorry. Single file, everyone."
Seinfeld
"-But I was promised a slot. -Single file, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"Fire drill. You believe that?"
Seinfeld
"-Who is Pericles? -Pericles is correct."
Seinfeld
"Like fire in a school is such a big deal."
Seinfeld
"-You got any matches? -Middle drawer."
Seinfeld
"Who is Sir Arthur Conan Doyle?"
Seinfeld
"We were looking for Sir Arthur Conan Doyle."
Seinfeld
"Thanks."
Seinfeld
"-Hello. Oh, hi, Katie. -Jerry."
Seinfeld
"I heard what happened at the school. They can't bump you."
Seinfeld
"-That is so unprofessional. -Oh, relax, Katie. It's not a problem."
Seinfeld
"-What is Borax? -Yes, you are right."
Seinfeld
"They bump you in junior high..."
Seinfeld
"...next, you're being bumped in high schools, colleges, trade schools."
Seinfeld
"Before you know it, Letterman won't return your calls."
Seinfeld
"-You got an ashtray? -I don't have any ashtrays."
Seinfeld
"Cereal bowls."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, don't freak out. I'll take care of you."
Seinfeld
"-Katie, don't-- -All right. Thanks."
Seinfeld
"What is tungsten or wolfram?"
Seinfeld
"We were looking for: What is tungsten or wolfram?"
Seinfeld
"Is this a repeat?"
Seinfeld
"No, no, no. Just lately I've been thinking a lot clearer."
Seinfeld
"Like this afternoon-- What is chicken Kiev?"
Seinfeld
"--I really enjoyed watching a documentary with Louise."
Seinfeld
"Louise. That's what's doing it."
Seinfeld
"You're no longer preoccupied with sex, so your mind is able to focus."
Seinfeld
"-You think? -Yeah. Let's say this is your brain."
Seinfeld
"Okay? Now, from what I know about you..."
Seinfeld
"...your brain consists of two parts."
Seinfeld
"The intellect, represented here..."
Seinfeld
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