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Clips from Seinfeld - The Red Dot (S03E03)

"Every mall has a Hoffritz in it."
Seinfeld
"I need knives. I need more knives."
Seinfeld
"That's the kind of knife I'm looking for."
Seinfeld
"You don't."
Seinfeld
"All you have to do is meet him. Come on."
Seinfeld
"So..."
Seinfeld
"...I'm Jerry."
Seinfeld
"So have you ever done this kind of work before?"
Seinfeld
"Well, you know, book reports, that kind of stuff."
Seinfeld
"- Who do you read? - I like Mike Lupica."
Seinfeld
"- I find him very insightful. - No, I mean authors."
Seinfeld
"...because I'm afraid I'm gonna leave somebody out."
Seinfeld
"Find me one person that doesn't like cashmere. It's too expensive."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, yeah. - Oh, it's damaged."
Seinfeld
"Yes, you would."
Seinfeld
"It's been there two years. I've been using it as a paint thinner."
Seinfeld
"Boy, that Hennigan goes down smooth..."
Seinfeld
"That's right, folks. I just had three shots of Hennigan's, and I don't smell."
Seinfeld
"Get out of here."
Seinfeld
"Say you got a big job interview and you're nervous."
Seinfeld
"Oh, George, this is beautiful. Is this cashmere?"
Seinfeld
"- Who doesn't? - Oh, my God."
Seinfeld
"I couldn't. He just wants to make people happy."
Seinfeld
"Say that again."
Seinfeld
"Do you see it, or don't you?"
Seinfeld
"- I can't believe I get paid for this. - God."
Seinfeld
"You had sex with the cleaning woman on your desk?"
Seinfeld
"Who are you? How did you do that?"
Seinfeld
"- You don't drink. - I couldn't think of anything else to say."
Seinfeld
"Dick was fired."
Seinfeld
"...because it was cheaper?"
Seinfeld
"- Okay. You just gave me the answer. - No, I didn't."
Seinfeld
"I have to open my mouth sometimes to breathe."
Seinfeld
"Here I go out, in the spirit of the season and spend all my savings..."
Seinfeld
"...to show my appreciation to you at Christmas..."
Seinfeld
"I didn't tell her, you stupid idiot. She tricked you."
Seinfeld
"Elaine, you don't understand."
Seinfeld
"No. Get away from me."
Seinfeld
"- I'm going to try it on. - No. Don't try it on now. Try it later."
Seinfeld
"Oh, look, it fits beautiful."
Seinfeld
"All right, take it off. You're gonna ruin it."
Seinfeld
"I like the hand blower, I have to say."
Seinfeld
"- I don't know. - On a wagon."
Seinfeld
"You know, because I've worked in a lot of offices..."
Seinfeld
"Well, you didn't have to say it like that."
Seinfeld
"You never had sex in the office before?"
Seinfeld
"- Well, that's not sex. - Kissing is sex."
Seinfeld
"- George. - Jerry."
Seinfeld
"Over here."
Seinfeld
"...when the nipple makes its first appearance."
Seinfeld
"Nice try."
Seinfeld
"So guess who heckled me at the club last night."
Seinfeld
"Dick!"
Seinfeld
"It's Cape Fear."
Seinfeld
"Hide. Hide under the desk."
Seinfeld
"I hate being around alcoholics."
Seinfeld
"They're either saying how much they love you or how much they hate you."
Seinfeld
"Do you want to stand there having people going:"
Seinfeld
"Do you have any bigger knives?"
Seinfeld
"I'd like a bigger knife. A big, long, sharp knife."
Seinfeld
"That's what I'm in the market for. I like them really sharp."
Seinfeld
"Do you have one with hooks and gouges..."
Seinfeld
"...and blades that are kind of serrated?"
Seinfeld
"I need one I can throw. I need one I can hack away with."
Seinfeld
"Do you have anything like that?"
Seinfeld
"Like you know what you're talking about."
Seinfeld
"Oh, no. You do?"
Seinfeld
"Well, what do you think, they put the statue on a giant raft..."
Seinfeld
"...and a tugboat pulled it all the way from France?"
Seinfeld
"Think they brought it in pieces..."
Seinfeld
"...and screwed it together like a coffee table?"
Seinfeld
"What's going on? It's a little early for a Christmas party."
Seinfeld
"- Why'd France give that to us anyway? - It was a gift."
Seinfeld
"Countries just exchange gifts like that?"
Seinfeld
"If they like each other."
Seinfeld
"- There's Elaine. - See that guy she's talking with?"
Seinfeld
"- That's her new boyfriend. - Really?"
Seinfeld
"He works here in the office?"
Seinfeld
"They're having a little fling, so don't say anything to anyone."
Seinfeld
"Who am I gonna tell, my mother? Like I have nothing better to talk about."
Seinfeld
"He's a recovering alcoholic."
Seinfeld
"- Really? - He's been off the wagon two years."
Seinfeld
"- Off the wagon? - I think it's off the wagon."
Seinfeld
"I think it's on the wagon."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, George, what are you doing here?"
Seinfeld
"What am I doing here?"
Seinfeld
"My God! My watch! You found my watch."
Seinfeld
"Keep your hands to yourself if you know what's good for you."
Seinfeld
"- Where'd you find it? - Under the sofa cushion."
Seinfeld
"- You stopped by just to give it to me? - It's your Christmas present."
Seinfeld
"- I thought I'd never find it. - Today's your lucky day."
Seinfeld
"No, today is your lucky day."
Seinfeld
"- It would be my first one. - You want to work here?"
Seinfeld
"- What? - Yeah. One of the readers just left."
Seinfeld
"There's a job opening."
Seinfeld
"Dick, this is Jerry. And this is George."
Seinfeld
"- Hi. Nice to meet you. - Is this the guy?"
Seinfeld
"The guy?"
Seinfeld
"- Dick. - How can you just get it?"
Seinfeld
"My boss said to find someone. I'm in charge."
Seinfeld
"And vodka. Come on."
Seinfeld
"I got the cranberry juice."
Seinfeld
"- ...you're Jerry. - So..."
Seinfeld
"Mike Lupica?"
Seinfeld
"He's a sportswriter for the Daily News."
Seinfeld
"Well..."
Seinfeld
"...a lot of good ones. Lot of good ones."
Seinfeld
"I don't even wanna mention anybody..."
Seinfeld
"- Name a couple. - Who do I like?"
Seinfeld
"I like Art Vandalay."
Seinfeld
"- Art Vandalay? - He's an obscure writer."
Seinfeld
"Beatnik, you know, from the village."
Seinfeld
"What's he written?"
Seinfeld
"Venetian Blinds."
Seinfeld
"I got news for you. I'm funnier than you are."
Seinfeld
"Why don't we get together New Year's, watch some football?"
Seinfeld
"- Where's my drink? - There. So how'd it go?"
Seinfeld
"I think he's impressed."
Seinfeld
"No, no, this is just cranberry juice."
Seinfeld
"I think maybe Dick picked up yours."
Seinfeld
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