Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Seinfeld - The Note (S03E03)

"This guy's the best. They can't all be the best."
Seinfeld
"Someone's graduating at the bottom of these classes."
Seinfeld
"You should see my doctor. He's the worst."
Seinfeld
"...I launch into the story about the kid from Pennsylvania who was abducted."
Seinfeld
"She doesn't wanna hear that. That was stupid."
Seinfeld
"Right. Your friend Roy."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me. Did you say Raymond?"
Seinfeld
"Yes."
Seinfeld
"- You don't know what you do? - No."
Seinfeld
"Take off those pants. I'll work the hamstring."
Seinfeld
"I'll check it out."
Seinfeld
"- You don't know? - No."
Seinfeld
"Hamstring."
Seinfeld
"He got about..."
Seinfeld
"- ...there. - Really?"
Seinfeld
"It was imperceptible, but I felt it."
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - Hey."
Seinfeld
"Joe DiMaggio?"
Seinfeld
"- In Dinky Doughnuts? - Yes."
Seinfeld
"Well, maybe he likes Dinky Doughnuts."
Seinfeld
"Why can't he have a doughnut like everybody else?"
Seinfeld
"A stall man, huh?"
Seinfeld
"And if you can't, believe me, it's fine."
Seinfeld
"You think something's wrong? Am I different?"
Seinfeld
"No, no. It's okay."
Seinfeld
"No appointments at all?"
Seinfeld
"...about some lunatic in Pennsylvania, and I'm cut off."
Seinfeld
"Joe DiMaggio. This time I went in and I sat down across from him..."
Seinfeld
"I studied his every move."
Seinfeld
"...then the waitress, she comes up and she tells me to shut up..."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, you know kids. They can be very perceptive."
Seinfeld
"Hey, George. What is this?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God."
Seinfeld
"I am so sorry."
Seinfeld
"Bye."
Seinfeld
"He's got a house, a family. They could take away his license."
Seinfeld
"Hello."
Seinfeld
"I have a patient, but she's under."
Seinfeld
"You know the whole practice is in jeopardy. You know that."
Seinfeld
"Nothing, as long as we get the physical therapist to go along with our story."
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry. She's not in."
Seinfeld
"Hi. Look, I don't know what you think-"
Seinfeld
"Well, I mean, it's only a six-month probation."
Seinfeld
"I threw up from the gas."
Seinfeld
"Having a cup of coffee."
Seinfeld
"...we have weak sales resistance."
Seinfeld
"Just hold this guy's hand, walk around the store. See how you feel."
Seinfeld
"No obligation, no pressure, just try it."
Seinfeld
"Every time somebody recommends a doctor, he's always the best."
Seinfeld
"There can't be this many bests."
Seinfeld
"Where are these doctors?"
Seinfeld
"Is somewhere someone saying to their friend:"
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah. He's the worst. He's the absolute worst there is."
Seinfeld
"Whatever you've got, it'll be worse after you see him."
Seinfeld
"He's just a- He's a butcher. The man's a butcher."
Seinfeld
"Then there's always that, Make sure you tell him that you know me."
Seinfeld
"Why? What's the difference? He's a doctor."
Seinfeld
"What is he-? Oh, you know Bob."
Seinfeld
"Oh, okay, I'll give you the real medicine."
Seinfeld
"Everybody else I'm giving Tic Tacs."
Seinfeld
"And usually for lunch, I'll have a salad. And for dinner, I eat whatever I want."
Seinfeld
"What do you think the worst part of being blind is?"
Seinfeld
"Excuse me?"
Seinfeld
"You know, if you were blind..."
Seinfeld
"...what do you think the worst part of it would be?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know."
Seinfeld
"I think it would be not being able to tell if there was bugs in my food."
Seinfeld
"How could you ever enjoy a meal like that?"
Seinfeld
"I'd constantly be feeling around with my lips and my tongue."
Seinfeld
"Well, that's how my 5-year-old eats. He's a very picky eater."
Seinfeld
"Hear about that kid that was kidnapped the other day in Pennsylvania?"
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"...next thing you know, she turns around, boom, he's gone."
Seinfeld
"Imagine how sick a person has to be to do something like that."
Seinfeld
"And these people are all over the place."
Seinfeld
"You never know who's crazy. I could be one of these people."
Seinfeld
"Who takes care of your boy during the day?"
Seinfeld
"We have a woman. Why?"
Seinfeld
"- No, I'm just saying. - She had references."
Seinfeld
"I'm sure she did. I'm sure they're impeccable."
Seinfeld
"I'm talking about the ones that forge them."
Seinfeld
"You know, I think this is really helping."
Seinfeld
"I don't live near here, you know."
Seinfeld
"So she's giving me the massage and I'm just making conversation."
Seinfeld
"- I don't like to talk during a massage. - Neither do I, but I do it for them."
Seinfeld
"- I figure they're bored. - Yeah, I do that too."
Seinfeld
"I feel guilty about getting the pleasure. I feel like I don't deserve it, so I talk."
Seinfeld
"It stops me from enjoying it."
Seinfeld
"There's nothing to eat in here."
Seinfeld
"- Okay, go ahead. - Why don't you ever go shopping?"
Seinfeld
"It's not like it's a really funny story."
Seinfeld
"- What happened? - So she mentioned that she had a son."
Seinfeld
"And then for some reason..."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, wasn't that terrible? - Yes, it was."
Seinfeld
"Not even an apple."
Seinfeld
"- I know it was stupid. - Really stupid."
Seinfeld
"Hey, I just said it was stupid."
Seinfeld
"- What about this Chinese food? - Take it."
Seinfeld
"- I can't believe you said that. - Hey, would you stop it already."
Seinfeld
"So, what did she say?"
Seinfeld
"This is terrible. What is this, ginger?"
Seinfeld
"I hate ginger. I can't understand how anyone can eat ginger."
Seinfeld
"- I have a good masseuse. - No, she's really good."
Seinfeld
"She's not just a masseuse. She's a physical therapist."
Seinfeld
"There's a big difference. She uses the ultrasound."
Seinfeld
"It's a real medical procedure."
Seinfeld
"In fact, if you get a doctor's note, it's covered by insurance."
Seinfeld
"Physical therapy is covered by insurance?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- You don't pay for the massage? - Not if you have a doctor's note."
Seinfeld
"So where do you get this note?"
Seinfeld
"I've never actually done it, but if I wanted to..."
Seinfeld
"...I could probably get one from Roy, the dentist."
Seinfeld
"What's the name of this physical therapist?"
Seinfeld
"I'll tell you, but don't ask her anything about her kid. She's a little off."
Seinfeld
"And you don't have to pay?"
Seinfeld
"We have 3:00 appointments."
Seinfeld
"- George and Elaine, right? - Right."
Seinfeld
"Could you fill these out, please?"
Seinfeld
"And, Elaine, you'll be seeing Julianna."
Seinfeld
Show more clips