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Clips from Seinfeld - The Fatigues (S08E08)

"My friend Kramer and I were discussing that the other day."
Seinfeld
"Well, then my mentor suggested that I move into equities."
Seinfeld
"-Risk management? -Yeah."
Seinfeld
"You know what? I can't do this. I can't read books anymore."
Seinfeld
"This postmark is three weeks old. Man, this happens all the time."
Seinfeld
"He's writing copy?"
Seinfeld
"Orthodox, Jerry. Old school."
Seinfeld
"Do you like tsimmes?"
Seinfeld
"My mentor says the duck is outstanding here."
Seinfeld
"Actually, Jerry, you might know him. He's a comic too."
Seinfeld
"Bania?"
Seinfeld
"You gonna join us for dinner? The duck here is the best."
Seinfeld
"I noticed that you have a textbook on tape."
Seinfeld
"Reading for the Blind?"
Seinfeld
"I take an eye test, I flunk it. The next thing you know..."
Seinfeld
"-What'd you have? -Chicken."
Seinfeld
"How could she look up to a person..."
Seinfeld
"...who voluntarily spends time with Bania?"
Seinfeld
"If anything, I should be dating a mentor..."
Seinfeld
"...and Bania should be setting pins at a bowling alley."
Seinfeld
"Thanks. Dad."
Seinfeld
"Hey, Frank, you know anybody who can help me cook?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know anything about cooking!"
Seinfeld
"That's good work, guys. That ought to do it for today."
Seinfeld
"I got brisket going at Newman's, I got kugel working at Mrs. Zanfino's..."
Seinfeld
"Did you follow the recipe?"
Seinfeld
"I guess I got confused."
Seinfeld
"It tastes like dirt."
Seinfeld
"Well, I also dropped it on the way over."
Seinfeld
"I got no sense of flavor, obviously."
Seinfeld
"You know, I gotta talk to Frank."
Seinfeld
"-...and then catch his act. -No. No."
Seinfeld
"-No way. No Bania. -What?"
Seinfeld
"Have you seen his act? He's got a 1 2-minute bit about Ovaltine."
Seinfeld
"...I am happy to tell you that Eddie Sherman..."
Seinfeld
"-It's about time. -He's upstairs."
Seinfeld
"Hey. Hey!"
Seinfeld
"Chapter one."
Seinfeld
"How do you spot risk?"
Seinfeld
"-...existed virtually-- -Stop it. Stop it. Shut up!"
Seinfeld
"The use date was three weeks past."
Seinfeld
"And it was war. That was a crazy time for everyone."
Seinfeld
"Why is he so obsessed with Ovaltine?"
Seinfeld
"I need someone I can trust."
Seinfeld
"I got a big problem here, Jerry. The tapes are worthless."
Seinfeld
"Kind of in the middle of something here, George."
Seinfeld
"-So, what's your problem? -No problem."
Seinfeld
"I'm back, baby!"
Seinfeld
"You're sure, with your schedule, you'd have time to take on a protÈgÈ?"
Seinfeld
"...as risk management."
Seinfeld
"I'm not familiar with it. You'll have to explain it."
Seinfeld
"Hey, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"Maybe she's right. Maybe I am a complete hack."
Seinfeld
"You think you can give me a hand with my material?"
Seinfeld
"-You still need a cook? -Oh, yeah. Come on in, Frank."
Seinfeld
"-You got T-Fal? -Calphalon."
Seinfeld
"Why do they call it Ovaltine?"
Seinfeld
"George Costanza is your mentor?"
Seinfeld
"I am learning so much."
Seinfeld
"I don't know how..."
Seinfeld
"And then things kind of cooled off."
Seinfeld
"-Have you tried the hamantaschen? -I can't get off the kishkes."
Seinfeld
"Risk management?"
Seinfeld
"Gross."
Seinfeld
"-Stop-- -No. No. No."
Seinfeld
"I started out working in mortgage bonds, but I just found that so limiting."
Seinfeld
"He was with Brandt-Leland for a while."
Seinfeld
"Best move I ever made."
Seinfeld
"-Mentor? You mean your boss? -Oh, no, no, no."
Seinfeld
"Cynthia's a successful businesswoman..."
Seinfeld
"...who's taken me under her wing."
Seinfeld
"-So Cynthia's your mentor? -And I'm her protÈgÈ."
Seinfeld
"You must have someone like that."
Seinfeld
"You know, who guides you in your career path."
Seinfeld
"Well, I like Gabe Kaplan."
Seinfeld
"I still don't understand this. Abby has a mentor?"
Seinfeld
"Yes. And the mentor advises the protÈgÈ."
Seinfeld
"Is there any money involved?"
Seinfeld
"-No. -So, what's in it for the mentor?"
Seinfeld
"Respect, admiration, prestige."
Seinfeld
"Would the protÈgÈ pick up stuff for the mentor?"
Seinfeld
"I suppose if it was on the protÈgÈ's way to the mentor, they might."
Seinfeld
"Laundry? Dry cleaning?"
Seinfeld
"It's not a valet, it's a protÈgÈ."
Seinfeld
"All right."
Seinfeld
"Listen, I gotta get some reading done. You mind if I do this here?"
Seinfeld
"I can't concentrate in my apartment."
Seinfeld
"Steinbrenner wants everyone in the front office..."
Seinfeld
"...to give a lecture in their area of business expertise."
Seinfeld
"What makes them think you're a risk-management expert?"
Seinfeld
"I guess it's on my rÈsumÈ."
Seinfeld
"-Hello? -Please hold for Elaine Benes."
Seinfeld
"Books on tape have ruined me, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"I need that nice voice. This book has my voice. I hate my voice."
Seinfeld
"-So get this book on tape. -You can't. It's a textbook."
Seinfeld
"Hey, Jer, are you going to this Bob Sacamano party?"
Seinfeld
"Am I going? It was three nights ago."
Seinfeld
"What? You're kidding. I just got this invitation today."
Seinfeld
"Oh, I was so excited. It's really a beautiful invitation."
Seinfeld
"Oh, it was a lovely affair."
Seinfeld
"Oh, wait a minute."
Seinfeld
"Janine, who the hell runs the mailroom?"
Seinfeld
"-Eddie Sherman. -All right. Send him up here."
Seinfeld
"-You gonna do a little yelling? -I'm gonna do a little firing."
Seinfeld
"That is so cool. Can you put me on the speaker?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah. Sure."
Seinfeld
"Hey, Copernicus."
Seinfeld
"-Eddie Sherman is here. -Oh, great. Send him in."
Seinfeld
"I am so sorry, but I'm afraid we're gonna have to..."
Seinfeld
"So, what did you say?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I called him all the way up to my office..."
Seinfeld
"...so I had to tell him something important."
Seinfeld
"So I promoted him."
Seinfeld
"-What? What did you--? -Copywriter."
Seinfeld
"Well, it can't be any worse than the pointless drivel we normally churn out."
Seinfeld
"Check it out."
Seinfeld
"-Jewish singles night? -I expect you both to be there."
Seinfeld
"-I'm not Jewish. -Well, neither am l."
Seinfeld
"-Well, why are you going? -I'm not. I'm running it."
Seinfeld
"-What are you talking about? -Lomez, he usually runs it..."
Seinfeld
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