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Clips from Seinfeld - The Slicer (S09E09)

"Well, at the Yankees, it was all about smoothing things over..."
Seinfeld
"But what the hell, we need someone, huh?"
Seinfeld
"So now the father is screaming at me."
Seinfeld
"They botched the Statue of Liberty job."
Seinfeld
"You know what to do? You sneak that photo out..."
Seinfeld
"Oh, this is good."
Seinfeld
"Everywhere you go they always give you these misshaped, shoddy meats."
Seinfeld
"Hey, I got a date with that doctor you met."
Seinfeld
"...and we'll bend it so it'll short out the entire circuit."
Seinfeld
"No, I really don't want to."
Seinfeld
"I enjoy the challenge of medicine."
Seinfeld
"Do you have any idea what it feels like to save someone's life?"
Seinfeld
"Thought you said you wanted to be out."
Seinfeld
"The world's best pizza-cutter."
Seinfeld
"My neighbor has a cat."
Seinfeld
"See, that's the same thing that happened to Lomez."
Seinfeld
"Oh, well, that's a prickly one."
Seinfeld
"Saving lives?"
Seinfeld
"Just grab that meat and let's ride."
Seinfeld
"- Flowers? - Yeah. You gotta do it classy."
Seinfeld
"- All right, let's do it. - Yeah, all right, here we go."
Seinfeld
"Dr. Sitarides?"
Seinfeld
"She saved your life?"
Seinfeld
"Damn."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, Yeah. No, no, no, I'll bring it by tonight."
Seinfeld
"Considering, I think that's damn good."
Seinfeld
"- They seemed so disorganized. - I understand."
Seinfeld
"Someone's gotta unhook the boat before it leaves the place."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, you did. You classed it up."
Seinfeld
"Elaine. All right, where's the SP 2000?"
Seinfeld
"All right, you have fun."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, enough. I'll do your friend's cancer screening..."
Seinfeld
"Was it Pimple Popper, M.D.?"
Seinfeld
"Still got it."
Seinfeld
"Out, damn heel."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, listen, I need my slicer back."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, what's going on? - Nothing."
Seinfeld
"Okay. I'm on the phone, all right? I'm on the phone with someone."
Seinfeld
"Whoa, back up. Dr. Sitarides? Yeah, what happened there?"
Seinfeld
"Listen to me. Find this woman..."
Seinfeld
"Oh, hey, and I couldn't find that stockroom."
Seinfeld
"- What record? - His personal file. I don't ask."
Seinfeld
"Come on, Sitarides. Cop to it."
Seinfeld
"I want the antidote, Pimple Popper."
Seinfeld
"That's it. I'm out of here."
Seinfeld
"You touched my face. I didn't imagine that."
Seinfeld
"And just get a picture of him with his shirt off."
Seinfeld
"Okay, Mr. Kruger..."
Seinfeld
"...fiber from shirt on left shoulder."
Seinfeld
"How long have you been doing this, Dr. Van Nostrand?"
Seinfeld
"If I can grab my slicer and if he holds still."
Seinfeld
"Turn that off. Turn it off!"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, the address is 78 West-"
Seinfeld
"I look like I had a beard of bees."
Seinfeld
"- You should see somebody. - I called everyone."
Seinfeld
"- I don't want this on my conscience. - I will get him to see a real doctor."
Seinfeld
"Well, I'm, cleaning my slicer."
Seinfeld
"Boy, did we take it on the chin last year."
Seinfeld
"What a pear-shaped loser."
Seinfeld
"Well, that pear-shaped loser was me."
Seinfeld
"And I was in that photo until I broke in here..."
Seinfeld
"You have lost a lot of hair."
Seinfeld
"That's what they tell me."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, it was olive loaf. - Oh."
Seinfeld
"You see another dermatologist?"
Seinfeld
"He said it was bad."
Seinfeld
"So where's that locksmith?"
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - Morning."
Seinfeld
"Oh, this is crazy. You know, I can't go on like this."
Seinfeld
"- But why? - I need some space."
Seinfeld
"Well, you don't think she's just talking to me."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, shut up. - You shut up."
Seinfeld
"I hate this."
Seinfeld
"You'll get used to it. It's like a rugby scrum."
Seinfeld
"- No. No, I don't want this anymore. - We're going to work with you."
Seinfeld
"- And on your dates. - And shopping."
Seinfeld
"And to the bathroom."
Seinfeld
"- Elaine. Elaine. Elaine. - I can't breathe."
Seinfeld
"- Elaine. Elaine. - I'm suffocating. I can't breathe."
Seinfeld
"You're all killing me."
Seinfeld
"Turn your alarm off."
Seinfeld
"Your background is impressive, George."
Seinfeld
"But how does it apply to what we do here at Kruger Industrial Smoothing?"
Seinfeld
"...you know, chiseling away, grinding down."
Seinfeld
"In fact, we used to call it the grind."
Seinfeld
"It says here you worked at Play Now for four days."
Seinfeld
"That should be a 14. Let me just..."
Seinfeld
"Well, George, I'll be honest. I could go either way on you."
Seinfeld
"You won't regret this, sir."
Seinfeld
"I don't care."
Seinfeld
"Let's find you an office, huh?"
Seinfeld
"When I saw the photo I remembered where I'd seen him."
Seinfeld
"The boom-box incident."
Seinfeld
"The boom-box incident?"
Seinfeld
"Summer of '89, I'm at the beach."
Seinfeld
"This family sets up next to me."
Seinfeld
"I go into the surf. When I come out..."
Seinfeld
"...my clothes, my towel, my umbrella, they're all gone."
Seinfeld
"I am furious. I start screaming at these kids..."
Seinfeld
"...demanding my stuff back and finally I lose it."
Seinfeld
"I grab their boom box and I chuck it into the ocean."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. - Seems reasonable."
Seinfeld
"Then I see my clothes floating out there."
Seinfeld
"The tide took them out, not the kids."
Seinfeld
"Even more reasonable."
Seinfeld
"He's demanding I pay for the boom box."
Seinfeld
"So finally I gave him a fake address and got the hell out of there."
Seinfeld
"And that guy is your new boss?"
Seinfeld
"Until that stupid photo jogs his memory."
Seinfeld
"Kruger. That's not Kruger Industrial Smoothing, is it?"
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. - Yeah, grinders, sanders, whetstones."
Seinfeld
"Right. They couldn't get the green stuff off."
Seinfeld
"It is a horrible company. There is no management whatsoever."
Seinfeld
"I could go hog-wild in there."
Seinfeld
"...for a couple of days and get it airbrushed."
Seinfeld
"- Like retouched? - Remember the photo of me..."
Seinfeld
"...and Gerald Ford and I took it in."
Seinfeld
"Got that Ford right out of there."
Seinfeld
"This Kruger guy is clueless."
Seinfeld
"I can't wait to work for him."
Seinfeld
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