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Clips from Seinfeld - The Implant (S04E04)

"Zero."
Seinfeld
"The picture IDs. Security guards. Signing in and out."
Seinfeld
"I mean, the people with a membership go twice a year. Who's breaking in?"
Seinfeld
"Unless someone's stretching in front of me in a leotard, then I can go an hour."
Seinfeld
"Well, I'm done. I think I'm gonna go take a sauna."
Seinfeld
"I'll see you Thursday night?"
Seinfeld
"Jerry, what am I gonna do? Go in there and spy on her in the sauna?"
Seinfeld
"Yes. Go in there. Do a little investigative journalism."
Seinfeld
"I'm lefty. Can't go right."
Seinfeld
"What about women? They go left or right?"
Seinfeld
"No, we just play defence."
Seinfeld
"Could I ask you a question?"
Seinfeld
"- Come on, really. Come on. - George, I-"
Seinfeld
"Why would you think on this planet that you're one of those three?"
Seinfeld
"George, please."
Seinfeld
"Hello."
Seinfeld
"Good sweat. Beads of sweat. Sweating bulets."
Seinfeld
"Okay. You too. Get some sleep."
Seinfeld
"- You're sure? - Positive."
Seinfeld
"...you somehow manage to drain a little more out of the pool."
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - Hey."
Seinfeld
"You know, I do kind of wonder what fake breasts feel like."
Seinfeld
"Oh, man, I wish I could get away."
Seinfeld
"Real busy now, down at the office?"
Seinfeld
"Salman Rushdie."
Seinfeld
"He puts them on a dental chair."
Seinfeld
"I'm not her boyfriend. I wanna be her boyfriend."
Seinfeld
"It's like a sauna in here."
Seinfeld
"- That's funny. - You're a funny guy."
Seinfeld
"Never heard that before."
Seinfeld
"- You think I should? - Are you kidding?"
Seinfeld
"You're the consolation guy."
Seinfeld
"Why don't you get a death in the familyfare?"
Seinfeld
"Boy, I'm getting a good sweat here. Great sweat. Good beads. Nice beads."
Seinfeld
"...and says he doesn't wanna see me again."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, that's okay. - Did he give you a reason?"
Seinfeld
"Hey, does he ever talk about Superman?"
Seinfeld
"I needed them to help me break my fall."
Seinfeld
"- I've touched mine. - So have I."
Seinfeld
"What are you doing to me?"
Seinfeld
"I'll purchase the ticket for you."
Seinfeld
"You're a good friend."
Seinfeld
"I understand you offer a 50-percent-off bereavement fare?"
Seinfeld
"...with a copy of the death certificate, and we'll refund half your fare."
Seinfeld
"Yes, we do need documentation or people could take advantage."
Seinfeld
"I know but it happens."
Seinfeld
"...for a death certificate to save a few bucks on a flight?"
Seinfeld
"That would be $387 round trip."
Seinfeld
"- You'll need my frequent flyer number. - Yes."
Seinfeld
"Hey, of the two of us, I'm the only one who's touched them."
Seinfeld
"I wouldn't have said anything if I'd known you'd stop seeing her."
Seinfeld
"Hey, Kramer, by the way..."
Seinfeld
"- Where? - Talking to that woman."
Seinfeld
"- I don't think that's Salman. - I don't think they're real."
Seinfeld
"Like a sauna in here, huh?"
Seinfeld
"Feel like I'm back at the desert."
Seinfeld
"- Yes, I've been there. - Look, my name's Kramer."
Seinfeld
"George, this is Aunt May and Father Jessup."
Seinfeld
"Oh, and that's my brother, Timmy."
Seinfeld
"Oh, no. You sit right here."
Seinfeld
"I mean, forget about it."
Seinfeld
"You-"
Seinfeld
"Bass, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"He just substituted one fish for another."
Seinfeld
"...I was hoping to compile an..."
Seinfeld
"- Excuse me? - You double dipped the chip."
Seinfeld
"...and you dipped again."
Seinfeld
"You dip the way you wanna dip..."
Seinfeld
"- Give me the chip. - Hey, hey, hey!"
Seinfeld
"- How you doing? - Good."
Seinfeld
"- I hear that's how she died. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"All right."
Seinfeld
"What is it? You're interrupting."
Seinfeld
"- All right, come on. - All right. It's in the top drawer."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, yeah. - All right."
Seinfeld
"So where were we?"
Seinfeld
"- Go back to New York. - Get out."
Seinfeld
"All right, sir. Now all I need is a death certificate and you'll be on your way."
Seinfeld
"...the doctor, the very same doctor that was attending my late aunt suffered..."
Seinfeld
"- Nice try. - Not even close, huh?"
Seinfeld
"Give me the cheesecake, crank me up to nine..."
Seinfeld
"What is with the high level of security at health clubs, you know?"
Seinfeld
"And what if they catch the person? What then? They run. It's aerobic."
Seinfeld
"- Hi, Jerry. - Oh, hi, Sidra."
Seinfeld
"I last about 10 minutes on the StairMaster."
Seinfeld
"- Thursday night. - Okay."
Seinfeld
"Tremendous workout."
Seinfeld
"- It's a pretty girl. - Tremendous girl."
Seinfeld
"You know, they're fake."
Seinfeld
"- What? Don't say that. - No. They're fake."
Seinfeld
"- How do you know? - I can tell."
Seinfeld
"You know how you always brag how you can spot a lesbian?"
Seinfeld
"I'm not bragging. I happen to have a very keen lesbian eye."
Seinfeld
"Hi, how you doing?"
Seinfeld
"Come on. Don't you think they seem just a bit too perfect?"
Seinfeld
"Yes, they do."
Seinfeld
"I never knew you were into breasts. Thought you were a leg man."
Seinfeld
"Leg man? Why would I be a leg man? I don't need legs. I have legs."
Seinfeld
"- No. - Then I can't accept your testimony."
Seinfeld
"Maybe if you'd seen her naked."
Seinfeld
"- I don't wanna see her naked. - Well, I do."
Seinfeld
"Well, that's your problem."
Seinfeld
"Look, you made the allegation. The least you could do is follow up."
Seinfeld
"I need to know."
Seinfeld
"Don't be so sure. Look at George."
Seinfeld
"He's on his ninth date with Betsy. Still hasn't got anywhere."
Seinfeld
"What's his problem?"
Seinfeld
"Every time he makes a move something screws up."
Seinfeld
"Their last date they were on the couch..."
Seinfeld
"- ... but she was on his wrong side. - Wrong side?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, she was on his right side. He can't make a move with his left hand."
Seinfeld
"Can't go left."
Seinfeld
"- He can't go left? - No."
Seinfeld
"Would you mind switching seats?"
Seinfeld
"Actually, I'd really prefer to sit here. I don't hear very well out of this ear."
Seinfeld
"I always try to sit to the right of people."
Seinfeld
"Come on, come on."
Seinfeld
"See, now is that so bad?"
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"- Oh, I- - The machine will get it."
Seinfeld
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