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Clips from Seinfeld - The Baby Shower (S02E02)

"Men get that remote control in their hands..."
Seinfeld
"Don't care. Who was that? Don't know."
Seinfeld
"...kings and emperors and pharaohs and such..."
Seinfeld
"...so they could still flip around. Just go:"
Seinfeld
"Now, the whole of you, get out of here. I'm going to bed."
Seinfeld
"- Todd. - Todd."
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah."
Seinfeld
"- He's a Kennedy. - No, he's not."
Seinfeld
"Oh, by marriage, yeah. We went to the wedding."
Seinfeld
"Maybe for her new performance piece, she'll give birth on-stage."
Seinfeld
"She's cooking dinner for God."
Seinfeld
"She's yelling, and the next thing I know..."
Seinfeld
"Do you throw any other foods? You know..."
Seinfeld
"...she leaves with somebody else."
Seinfeld
"Like I was dirt."
Seinfeld
"It's like Epstein-Barr with a twist of Lyme disease."
Seinfeld
"Because I've seen pregnant women..."
Seinfeld
"...l'm gonna tell that woman what I think of her."
Seinfeld
"All the cable companies care about is the big mamoo."
Seinfeld
"I'm offering you 56 channels."
Seinfeld
"- It's against the law. - Well, yeah."
Seinfeld
"Let me get him in. It's the '90s. It's Hammer Time. Come on."
Seinfeld
"No, every time I turn on a TV, sirens are gonna go off."
Seinfeld
"The Mets have 75 games on cable this year."
Seinfeld
"Put it in."
Seinfeld
"It's been illegally installed."
Seinfeld
"No, Jerry!"
Seinfeld
"We're making an emergency landing."
Seinfeld
"My name is Bill."
Seinfeld
"I'm not afraid of flying, although many people do have fear of flying."
Seinfeld
"...is quite rational, because human beings cannot fly."
Seinfeld
"...there were fire engines and ambulances all on the runway."
Seinfeld
"You know how he's always got some ulterior motive?"
Seinfeld
"Wait a minute. Don't take the bridge. Get off here."
Seinfeld
"Well, yeah, I would. It's just that I just ate a whole pot roast."
Seinfeld
"What, you're gonna badger a pregnant woman at her own baby shower?"
Seinfeld
"- Who is this guy? - Which one?"
Seinfeld
"He won't like that."
Seinfeld
"What did you go out with me for?"
Seinfeld
"You don't have the common courtesy to return my calls? To apologize?"
Seinfeld
"You think I'm some sort of a loser that likes to be abused and ignored?"
Seinfeld
"Whose shirt can be ruined without financial restitution?"
Seinfeld
"...is less travelled for a reason."
Seinfeld
"- I think I remember. - Told me you had a great time."
Seinfeld
"- I probably just lost your... - Liar!"
Seinfeld
"Liar!"
Seinfeld
"- I didn't think that. - To be dismissed and ignored."
Seinfeld
"Some person who doesn't deserve respect and attention?"
Seinfeld
"You're the insignificant piece of dust!"
Seinfeld
"Actually, I never had any formal training."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, I'm so sorry you have to go. - Yeah, I really have to be going."
Seinfeld
"Four hundred dollars."
Seinfeld
"You told me 150."
Seinfeld
"Be right back."
Seinfeld
"...and yet I want them all."
Seinfeld
"Is that irony?"
Seinfeld
"...ding."
Seinfeld
"It didn't stop."
Seinfeld
"All right. I said I had a good time and I'd call..."
Seinfeld
"I'll see you around."
Seinfeld
"Because I'm not gonna be taking care of you..."
Seinfeld
"Take off now."
Seinfeld
"Get out of here."
Seinfeld
"Men..."
Seinfeld
"...flip around the television more than women, I think."
Seinfeld
"They don't even know what they're not watching."
Seinfeld
"Rerun, don't wanna watch it. What are you watching?"
Seinfeld
"Isn't that your father? Doesn't matter, I gotta keep going."
Seinfeld
"Women don't do that. See, now, women..."
Seinfeld
"...before I change the channel."
Seinfeld
"You see, but men just fly. Because women..."
Seinfeld
"You see, women nest, and men hunt."
Seinfeld
"That's why we watch TV differently."
Seinfeld
"Before there was flipping around, before there was television..."
Seinfeld
"...had storytellers that would tell them stories."
Seinfeld
"That was their entertainment."
Seinfeld
"Tell me your story. I don't wanna hear anymore."
Seinfeld
"Shut up. Next guy. What are you talking about?"
Seinfeld
"Is there a girl in that story? No? Shut up."
Seinfeld
"What have you got? I don't wanna hear that."
Seinfeld
"What are you talking about? Don't wanna hear it."
Seinfeld
"She's pregnant?"
Seinfeld
"Leslie is pregnant? Oh, see, there is no justice."
Seinfeld
"She's the performance artist, right?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, performance artist. She's a performer, a real trouper."
Seinfeld
"Kip?"
Seinfeld
"Skip?"
Seinfeld
"- Come on, he's a third cousin. - By marriage."
Seinfeld
"Should've heard them talk about Chappaquiddick."
Seinfeld
"Tried to blame the whole thing on bad directions."
Seinfeld
"That woman was unequivocally the worst date of my life."
Seinfeld
"Pardon me for setting you up with a beautiful, intelligent woman."
Seinfeld
"What, you don't think I can attract beautiful, intelligent women?"
Seinfeld
"Thin ice, George, very thin ice."
Seinfeld
"She stopped performing."
Seinfeld
"What a huge blow to the culture."
Seinfeld
"You believe this guy? He holds a grudge like Khomeini."
Seinfeld
"She dragged me down to that warehouse..."
Seinfeld
"...on the waterfront in Brooklyn to see one of her performances."
Seinfeld
"Oh, and she's on-stage cooking dinner for some celebrity?"
Seinfeld
"...she throws a big can of chocolate syrup all over my new red shirt."
Seinfeld
"- It was an accident. - Oh, yeah, accident, right."
Seinfeld
"So for the rest of the show I'm sitting there with chocolate all over me."
Seinfeld
"Flies are landing on me."
Seinfeld
"I'm boiling, I'm fantasizing all the things I'm gonna say to her."
Seinfeld
"Later, finally, backstage, when I talk to her..."
Seinfeld
"...l'm like a little grovelling worm:"
Seinfeld
"What kind of chocolate was that?"
Seinfeld
"He thought he still had a shot."
Seinfeld
"Then, then, then..."
Seinfeld
"Never even... Never even said goodbye."
Seinfeld
"Never called me back. Never apologized. Nothing."
Seinfeld
"What ever happened with the shirt?"
Seinfeld
"I still have it."
Seinfeld
"The collar's okay. I wear it under sweaters."
Seinfeld
"I don't know what I'm gonna do."
Seinfeld
"She asked me to give her a baby shower."
Seinfeld
"Asked you? You're not gonna do that, are you?"
Seinfeld
"Anyone else, never. But Leslie..."
Seinfeld
"I have a problem saying no to her."
Seinfeld
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