You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Archer - Animation (S05E05)

Short Films 2009 Season 5, Episode 8 7 min 486 clips

Episodes from this show

don't hold your breath for a bid.
A bid?
Well, that's good. ls that good?
Why would they shoot your... Cow!
Well, now I'm almost afraid to say...
Eat a dick, jungle.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
Sorry. You have to shut up.
being magnificent and crepuscular.
You're alive?
I mean...
Sorry. Do me. Please.
I... Wait, why would I be mad at you?
redline her record contract.
If he calls here, my plan, in its entirety,
AUTOMATED VOICE: The mailbox of...
All right! Turn it off! Turn it off!
I can’t! It's... (BANGING)
then he taps the phone line into the intercom,
they're both low-voltage, no big deal,
obviously 110 AC,
(SOBS)
Wow, I think she seriously might be,
You want cocaine?
ARCHER: God damn it!
Because why do you always get paralyzed?
As opposed to what, Cyril?
We have to! Ray, I'm sorry. No, you're not!
We are not leaving Ray.
I'm taking command!
RAY: I think it's a pretty good plan, y'all.
ARCHER: No, it isn't!
What do crocodiles eat?
Everything! They eat everything!
going through a really hard time right now,
so I think we should do something nice for her.
It was like seeing my dad cry.
(SCOFFS) Name it, he's a gigantic pussy.
Hey, and speaking of pussies...
Yeah, this is a Long Island.
We're not giving her cocaine.
Yeah... Ow!
You done?
what it is you think I'm talking about.
makes it kinda weird. I...
Barter with what, Cyril?
I dunno, maybe the gun, or...
perhaps even wildly, to a bunch of white guys
MALORY: What?
I took three Valium!
If I get any more relaxed I will literally die!
Yay!
CYRIL: Wait, what?
ARCHER: Crocodylus acutus! And maybe even...
Are we in the Orinoco drainage basin?
Okay, so maybe Crocodylus intermedius is in play.
Is that why you're up on those goddamn cans?
I dunno, Cyril, maybe deep down
that lived through the K-T extinction... Uh...
A half-ton of cold-blooded fury,
from the shadows, waiting for the night...
Keep your voice down.
(ALL SCREAMING)
(ALL CONTINUE SCREAMING)
Were you gonna say "a taste for human flesh"?
No, I was gonna say "hat."
about 90 goddamn times
Mother's the one who got us arrested for treason
and then bought a ton of goddamn cocaine.
Up! Up! Hands off the goods, mister!
I said that's ridiculous,
Okay, so where would Archer get that much coke?
Trust me, if you had it you'd know.
You! I blame you! Archer! I blame you!
(EXCLAIMING)
Jesus, what is wrong with you two?
What? Archer!
(BOTH COUGHING)
Well, you did set the raft on fire.
I never, ever, ever take his side!
(GROANS) Go Herd.
Short-term, somewhere that's not
Here! Oh, come on.
even if it almost got weird.
She made it weird.
Not until he admits he's been half-assing
this entire cocaine debacle from the get-go.
Aha! See, that's what I resent.
What do you resent, Ray,
You're outta your mind!
in an airplane full of cocaine!
Because... Shut up! This is what we're doing!
ARCHER: Manos arriba!
You wanna... Oh, right.
Wait, what was it?
Arriba! God damn it! Manos arriba!
Cyril, make sure it's good and tight.
Okay, Ray, ballpark, how long will it take you
to admit you dick around every time we're in danger
No, your utter contempt for your own mortality!
Which, I guess, so am I,
we'll worry about that when we have to!
God damn it!
What, for getting us all arrested
for smuggling cocaine into Colombia?
the most dangerous prison in South America!
They're prison gangs, not frats.