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Clips from Archer - Animation (S06E06)

Short Films 2009 Season 6, Episode 9 7 min 482 clips
Short Sport Documentary
And so what, he needs bodyguards?
"And so what, he needs bodyguards?"
Archer
he's the prince of Durhan, an allied country.
"he's the prince of Durhan, an allied country."
Archer
What? I just heard you get hard.
"What? I just heard you get hard."
Archer
God damn you all to hell!
"God damn you all to hell!"
Archer
Okay, chinstrap, let me see what we got on the other cameras.
"Okay, chinstrap, let me see what we got on the other cameras."
Archer
bathroom four, bathroom five--
"bathroom four, bathroom five--"
Archer
Bathroom six, bathroom seven, bathr--
"Bathroom six, bathroom seven, bathr--"
Archer
Please?
"Please?"
Archer
is spying on American allies?
"is spying on American allies?"
Archer
Thanks, Al.
"Thanks, Al."
Archer
What?
"What?"
Archer
What the heck got into him?
"What the heck got into him?"
Archer
Although she didn't look like a Back Dorothy.
"Although she didn't look like a Back Dorothy."
Archer
not the part about the queen being into anal sex. Who knows?
"not the part about the queen being into anal sex. Who knows?"
Archer
with plenty of room for servants to skulk around,
"with plenty of room for servants to skulk around,"
Archer
But I wouldn't wanna dust it!
"But I wouldn't wanna dust it!"
Archer
An opinion apparently shared by the staff
"An opinion apparently shared by the staff"
Archer
What did I tell you, wench? Ow!
"What did I tell you, wench? Ow!"
Archer
Stop right there! Who are you?
"Stop right there! Who are you?"
Archer
My sincere apologies, Your Majesty,
"My sincere apologies, Your Majesty,"
Archer
What I know, you impudent toad,
"What I know, you impudent toad,"
Archer
Well slapped, Your Majesty.
"Well slapped, Your Majesty."
Archer
So what, you're gonna try to bang the queen
"So what, you're gonna try to bang the queen"
Archer
Yasmin would be my greatest masterpiece, Pam, my-- hang on...
"Yasmin would be my greatest masterpiece, Pam, my-- hang on..."
Archer
The potato eaters.
"The potato eaters."
Archer
Stop it! But wait.
"Stop it! But wait."
Archer
You're my best friend!
"You're my best friend!"
Archer
Then I'd go break my pussy off
"Then I'd go break my pussy off"
Archer
would be what my vagina refers to as a "win-win."
"would be what my vagina refers to as a "win-win.""
Archer
But wait a minute! Love to, can't,
"But wait a minute! Love to, can't,"
Archer
Uh, what's that?
"Uh, what's that?"
Archer
The world-renowned conservatory!
"The world-renowned conservatory!"
Archer
second largest collection of carnivorous plants,
"second largest collection of carnivorous plants,"
Archer
Theophilus Tunt, to commit suicide.
"Theophilus Tunt, to commit suicide."
Archer
Or maybe it was just the syphilis.
"Or maybe it was just the syphilis."
Archer
A thousand pardons. Foolish woman! Where is a bathroom?
"A thousand pardons. Foolish woman! Where is a bathroom?"
Archer
as well as--
"as well as--"
Archer
I-- Unless I sound like Lana,
"I-- Unless I sound like Lana,"
Archer
who is-- hang on--
"who is-- hang on--"
Archer
not in position. Well, where the hell is she?
"not in position. Well, where the hell is she?"
Archer
Lana and the prince, you idiot!
"Lana and the prince, you idiot!"
Archer
I-- wait, what about Lana and the prince?
"I-- wait, what about Lana and the prince?"
Archer
Bow-chicka-dow-dow...
"Bow-chicka-dow-dow..."
Archer
Ow!
"Ow!"
Archer
If it please Your Majesty, take the elevator.
"If it please Your Majesty, take the elevator."
Archer
I don't want him alone without--
"I don't want him alone without--"
Archer
Mother, please!
"Mother, please!"
Archer
Fawad, habibi, I shall meet you upstairs momentarily.
"Fawad, habibi, I shall meet you upstairs momentarily."
Archer
You are hands down my new favorite thing.
"You are hands down my new favorite thing."
Archer
Hello? Anybody? What the-- Ray?
"Hello? Anybody? What the-- Ray?"
Archer
Good, get off, keep this channel open.
"Good, get off, keep this channel open."
Archer
or however you self-identify,
"or however you self-identify,"
Archer
Okay, let's do this!
"Okay, let's do this!"
Archer
What the--? Where the hell is my tranquilizer gun?
"What the--? Where the hell is my tranquilizer gun?"
Archer
a powerful negress giant, Fawad entered the boudoir
"a powerful negress giant, Fawad entered the boudoir"
Archer
Can you help me up...
"Can you help me up..."
Archer
Kid, c'mon, I mean, I know I've been crushing the post-natal yoga, but--
"Kid, c'mon, I mean, I know I've been crushing the post-natal yoga, but--"
Archer
Seriously, just yoga? He said, jealously.
"Seriously, just yoga? He said, jealously."
Archer
He's 21! I think!
"He's 21! I think!"
Archer
It's what, painfully obvious
"It's what, painfully obvious"
Archer
Oh, my God!
"Oh, my God!"
Archer
in walks Figgis.
"in walks Figgis."
Archer
Um...
"Um..."
Archer
Guards!
"Guards!"
Archer
Gua--!
"Gua--!"
Archer
are connected to secret passages?
"are connected to secret passages?"
Archer
Well, I gotta hand it to you...
"Well, I gotta hand it to you..."
Archer
Your Majesty!
"Your Majesty!"
Archer
What in the... Mother?
"What in the... Mother?"
Archer
You're alive! Tear this place apart!
"You're alive! Tear this place apart!"
Archer
Sterling, I swear to God...
"Sterling, I swear to God..."
Archer
You do realize you're the homeowner. Still though.
"You do realize you're the homeowner. Still though."
Archer
God dammit!
"God dammit!"
Archer
I am dead serious.
"I am dead serious."
Archer
From now on, no eggs, no pigs' feet,
"From now on, no eggs, no pigs' feet,"
Archer
nothing pickled,
"nothing pickled,"
Archer
or, so help me God,
"or, so help me God,"
Archer
I will put that refrigerator out by the curb.
"I will put that refrigerator out by the curb."
Archer
What? Oh, come on!
"What? Oh, come on!"
Archer
Those weren't pigs' feet.
"Those weren't pigs' feet."
Archer
Now then, we have an assignment,
"Now then, we have an assignment,"
Archer
so if you'll direct your goldfish-like attention spans
"so if you'll direct your goldfish-like attention spans"
Archer
to Mr. Slater...
"to Mr. Slater..."
Archer
Just Slater, for the "infinitieth" time.
"Just Slater, for the "infinitieth" time."
Archer
Watch it. Shut up.
"Watch it. Shut up."
Archer
Burn. Shut up.
"Burn. Shut up."
Archer
Burn.
"Burn."
Archer
Okay...
"Okay..."
Archer
The young man in the monitor
"The young man in the monitor"
Archer
is Crown prince Fawad Fawaz,
"is Crown prince Fawad Fawaz,"
Archer
heir to the throne of the Kingdom of Durhan.
"heir to the throne of the Kingdom of Durhan."
Archer
He just got a summer internship on Wall Street...
"He just got a summer internship on Wall Street..."
Archer
Ugh, affirmative action...
"Ugh, affirmative action..."
Archer
And so he's in the city looking for suitable accommodations,
"And so he's in the city looking for suitable accommodations,"
Archer
something befitting the world's richest prince.
"something befitting the world's richest prince."
Archer
Oh, money. Holy shit.
"Oh, money. Holy shit."
Archer
Which brings us to my problem,
"Which brings us to my problem,"
Archer
which, coincidentally, is also your problem.
"which, coincidentally, is also your problem."
Archer
Without the prince or his security team's knowledge,
"Without the prince or his security team's knowledge,"
Archer
I need to scan any and all of his mobile phones,
"I need to scan any and all of his mobile phones,"
Archer
any and all flash drives,
"any and all flash drives,"
Archer
both of his handprints, and both of his retinas.
"both of his handprints, and both of his retinas."
Archer
And why?
"And why?"
Archer
Oh, sorry, let me back up.
"Oh, sorry, let me back up."
Archer
This is part of operation because I said so.
"This is part of operation because I said so."
Archer
Ya know what? I'm sure I do.
"Ya know what? I'm sure I do."
Archer
For example, this is a tranquilizer gun,
"For example, this is a tranquilizer gun,"
Archer
with which I will dart the prince,
"with which I will dart the prince,"
Archer
and then we'll have 60 seconds to do all the scans
"and then we'll have 60 seconds to do all the scans"
Archer
before he wakes up with no side effects
"before he wakes up with no side effects"
Archer
and no memory at all of the previous few minutes.
"and no memory at all of the previous few minutes."
Archer
Bullshit, the CIA doesn't have that technolo--
"Bullshit, the CIA doesn't have that technolo--"
Archer
But before I can tranquilize him,
"But before I can tranquilize him,"
Archer
I need access to the prince, so--
"I need access to the prince, so--"
Archer
Uh, and just so we're clear,
"Uh, and just so we're clear,"
Archer
Yeah, I'm gonna refer you back to operation said so.
"Yeah, I'm gonna refer you back to operation said so."
Archer
Everybody else, these are your mission dossiers.
"Everybody else, these are your mission dossiers."
Archer
Read them on the way to Tunt Manor.
"Read them on the way to Tunt Manor."
Archer
Tunt Manor? That's my house!
"Tunt Manor? That's my house!"
Archer
I know!
"I know!"
Archer