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Clips from Archer - Animation (S02E02)

Short Films 2009 Season 2, Episode 12 7 min 425 clips
Short Sport Documentary

Episodes from this show

Title Season Episode
Mole Hunt 1 1
Training Day 1 2
Diversity Hire 1 3
Killing Utne 1 4
Honeypot 1 5
Skorpio 1 6
Skytanic 1 7
The Rock 1 8
Job Offer 1 9
Dial M for Mother 1 10
Swiss Miss 2 1
Animation 2 2
Animation 2 3
Animation 2 4
Animation 2 5
Animation 2 6
Animation 2 7
Animation 2 8
Animation 2 9
Animation 2 10
Animation 2 11
Animation 2 12
Animation 2 13
Animation 3 1
Animation 3 2
Animation 3 3
Animation 3 4
Animation 3 5
Animation 3 6
Animation 3 7
Animation 3 8
Animation 3 9
Animation 3 10
Animation 3 11
Animation 3 12
Animation 3 13
Fugue and Riffs 4 1
Animation 4 2
Animation 4 3
Animation 4 4
Animation 4 5
Animation 4 6
Animation 4 7
Animation 4 8
Animation 4 9
Animation 4 10
Animation 4 11
Animation 5 1
Animation 5 2
Animation 5 3
Animation 5 4
Animation 5 5
Animation 5 6
Animation 5 7
Animation 5 8
Animation 5 9
Animation 5 10
Title Season Episode
Animation 5 11
Animation 5 12
Animation 5 13
The Holdout 6 1
Three to Tango 6 2
The Archer Sanction 6 3
Edie's Wedding 6 4
Vision Quest 6 5
Sitting 6 6
Animation 6 7
Animation 6 8
Animation 6 9
Animation 6 10
Animation 6 11
Animation 6 12
Animation 6 13
The Figgis Agency 7 1
The Handoff 7 2
Deadly Prep 7 3
Motherless Child 7 4
Bel Panto: Part I 7 5
Bel Panto: Part II 7 6
Double Indecency 7 7
Liquid Lunch 7 8
Deadly Velvet: Part 1 7 9
Deadly Velvet: Part 2 7 10
Animation 8 1
Animation 8 2
Animation 8 3
Animation 8 4
Animation 8 5
Animation 8 6
Animation 8 7
Animation 8 8
Danger Island: Different Modes of Preparing the Fruit 9 3
Danger Island: A Warrior in Costume 9 4
Danger Island: Strange Doings in the Taboo Groves 9 5
Danger Island: Some Remarks on Cannibalism 9 6
Danger Island: Comparative Wickedness of Civilized and Unenlightened Peoples 9 7
Archer: 1999 -- Bort the Garj 10 1
Archer: 1999 -- Happy Borthday 10 2
Archer: 1999 -- The Leftovers 10 3
Archer: 1999 -- Dining with the Zarglorp 10 4
Archer: 1999 -- Mr. Deadly Goes to Town 10 5
Archer: 1999 -- Road Trip 10 6
Archer: 1999 -- Space Pirates 10 7
Archer: 1999 -- Cubert 10 8
Archer: 1999 -- Robert De Niro 10 9
The Orpheus Gambit 11 1
Bloodsploosh 11 2
Helping Hands 11 3
Robot Factory 11 4
Best Friends 11 5
The Double Date 11 6
Caught Napping 11 7
Cold Fusion 11 8
...I think she used to screw, ick, Nikolai Jakov, the head of the KGB.
"...I think she used to screw, ick, Nikolai Jakov, the head of the KGB."
Archer
Okay, I got my fake documents, plenty of cash, so the crossing should be a breeze.
"Okay, I got my fake documents, plenty of cash, so the crossing should be a breeze."
Archer
- Like, just, just now? - Yep.
"- Like, just, just now? - Yep."
Archer
Which, judging by your response, I, uh, assume it's not, so, uh...
"Which, judging by your response, I, uh, assume it's not, so, uh..."
Archer
What an asshole.
"What an asshole."
Archer
What are you talking about?
"What are you talking about?"
Archer
Zip it, LaMotta. And even if I did know what you're talking about...
"Zip it, LaMotta. And even if I did know what you're talking about..."
Archer
Get your bloated carcass in here.
"Get your bloated carcass in here."
Archer
Have you been going through my desk?
"Have you been going through my desk?"
Archer
MALORY: Huh? - B, sometimes I work late...
"MALORY: Huh? - B, sometimes I work late..."
Archer
Then I put whipped cream all over everything.
"Then I put whipped cream all over everything."
Archer
- Oh, shit, really? - Yo, ew!
"- Oh, shit, really? - Yo, ew!"
Archer
Talking about the whipped-cream incident?
"Talking about the whipped-cream incident?"
Archer
And what in God's name do you people want?
"And what in God's name do you people want?"
Archer
- Oh, guess who that is. - Really?
"- Oh, guess who that is. - Really?"
Archer
You're still together?
"You're still together?"
Archer
Oh, I'm sorry, ex-fiancée. That's what I meant to say.
"Oh, I'm sorry, ex-fiancée. That's what I meant to say."
Archer
- Well, then it wasn't meant to be. - Ha-ha-ha.
"- Well, then it wasn't meant to be. - Ha-ha-ha."
Archer
...before he does any damage. Or more damage.
"...before he does any damage. Or more damage."
Archer
I'll do it on one condition.
"I'll do it on one condition."
Archer
- You did once. - By accident. Mostly.
"- You did once. - By accident. Mostly."
Archer
And you were about to when you thought it would get you my job.
"And you were about to when you thought it would get you my job."
Archer
Who is, in fact, sitting right here.
"Who is, in fact, sitting right here."
Archer
So you wanna do it on the desk or...?
"So you wanna do it on the desk or...?"
Archer
Sterling's already in Moscow?
"Sterling's already in Moscow?"
Archer
Yeah, so I hear.
"Yeah, so I hear."
Archer
Sterling's probably being tortured as we speak.
"Sterling's probably being tortured as we speak."
Archer
Which is, uh, pretty rare for me. Hi.
"Which is, uh, pretty rare for me. Hi."
Archer
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
"[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]"
Archer
I think not.
"I think not."
Archer
- You're in the KGB? - L... No.
"- You're in the KGB? - L... No."
Archer
I thought I'd shoot you in the face, smuggle you out in a coffin.
"I thought I'd shoot you in the face, smuggle you out in a coffin."
Archer
- Lesson one... - Don't "lesson one" me.
"- Lesson one... - Don't "lesson one" me."
Archer
Yes, and if you tell anyone, I'll murder you.
"Yes, and if you tell anyone, I'll murder you."
Archer
JAKOV: You backstabbing, two-timing harlot.
"JAKOV: You backstabbing, two-timing harlot."
Archer
Yeah, no, I do not like those odds.
"Yeah, no, I do not like those odds."
Archer
So, what was your plan again? I think I remember thinking it was good.
"So, what was your plan again? I think I remember thinking it was good."
Archer
MALORY: Wait, l... Nikolai?
"MALORY: Wait, l... Nikolai?"
Archer
Oh, my God, he's going to kill him.
"Oh, my God, he's going to kill him."
Archer
- What? - Nothing.
"- What? - Nothing."
Archer
- What is wrong with you? - Bitch, I got ants all over me.
"- What is wrong with you? - Bitch, I got ants all over me."
Archer
- Yeah, right. My luck's not that good. MAN: Aah. Ew.
"- Yeah, right. My luck's not that good. MAN: Aah. Ew."
Archer
Did I say "good"? I meant "fantastic."
"Did I say "good"? I meant "fantastic.""
Archer
- Roll it down. - For all of...
"- Roll it down. - For all of..."
Archer
Or earplugs, you idiot.
"Or earplugs, you idiot."
Archer
- You know how bad that is for eardrums? - What?
"- You know how bad that is for eardrums? - What?"
Archer
Unh. Idiot.
"Unh. Idiot."
Archer
- Ask your mom! - What's that supposed to mean?
"- Ask your mom! - What's that supposed to mean?"
Archer
But I think we may have a problem.
"But I think we may have a problem."
Archer
Barry, wait, slow down.
"Barry, wait, slow down."
Archer
ARCHER: Yes.
"ARCHER: Yes."
Archer
Even if he is my son, it is too late.
"Even if he is my son, it is too late."
Archer
ARCHER: Uh, you could help, you know. - Yeah. So, now, uh, what are we doing?
"ARCHER: Uh, you could help, you know. - Yeah. So, now, uh, what are we doing?"
Archer
Running for our lives, Barry.
"Running for our lives, Barry."
Archer
- I thought that was fairly obvious. - Yeah, yeah, but up that high thing?
"- I thought that was fairly obvious. - Yeah, yeah, but up that high thing?"
Archer
It's just I'm not super big on heights.
"It's just I'm not super big on heights."
Archer
- Which you also ruined. - You ruined my life.
"- Which you also ruined. - You ruined my life."
Archer
[BOTH GRUNT]
"[BOTH GRUNT]"
Archer
Archer, let me climb up you.
"Archer, let me climb up you."
Archer
- Barry. - Please, Archer.
"- Barry. - Please, Archer."
Archer
[SCREAMING]
"[SCREAMING]"
Archer
[BARRY CRASHES]
"[BARRY CRASHES]"
Archer
Oh, for... Why don't you just go to my house and take all my clothes?
"Oh, for... Why don't you just go to my house and take all my clothes?"
Archer
[MAN SHOUTS IN RUSSIAN]
"[MAN SHOUTS IN RUSSIAN]"
Archer
What is this, a broken-glass factory?
"What is this, a broken-glass factory?"
Archer
- Eh. Nice apartment. - Thank you, comrade.
"- Eh. Nice apartment. - Thank you, comrade."
Archer
[IN SINGSONG VOICE] Awkward.
"[IN SINGSONG VOICE] Awkward."
Archer
Which is apparently a soldier factory.
"Which is apparently a soldier factory."
Archer
Sterling Archer.
"Sterling Archer."
Archer
[GRUNTS THEN SCREAMS]
"[GRUNTS THEN SCREAMS]"
Archer
No? Oh, you're more of a lace-up crowd, huh?
"No? Oh, you're more of a lace-up crowd, huh?"
Archer
How? How is this happy playtime?
"How? How is this happy playtime?"
Archer
[SCREAMS]
"[SCREAMS]"
Archer
Although, I do have 3 pounds of glass in my feet.
"Although, I do have 3 pounds of glass in my feet."
Archer
So this is how game ends for you.
"So this is how game ends for you."
Archer
We will send flowers.
"We will send flowers."
Archer
Mother.
"Mother."
Archer
- I am sorry, Mr. Archer. - Goddamn it, I'm...
"- I am sorry, Mr. Archer. - Goddamn it, I'm..."
Archer
- I am, if you'd hang on a damn minute. OFFICER: Come on.
"- I am, if you'd hang on a damn minute. OFFICER: Come on."
Archer
[GUNFIRE] [OFFICER SCREAMS]
"[GUNFIRE] [OFFICER SCREAMS]"
Archer
- I am KGB. - Oh. Oh.
"- I am KGB. - Oh. Oh."
Archer
- Well, then why did you...? - I want to help you escape, Sterling Archer.
"- Well, then why did you...? - I want to help you escape, Sterling Archer."
Archer
But only if you will promise me one thing.
"But only if you will promise me one thing."
Archer
GILLETTE: Not once, not ever, has he volunteered for a dangerous mission.
"GILLETTE: Not once, not ever, has he volunteered for a dangerous mission."
Archer
And now, all of a sudden, he's like, "Let me go"?
"And now, all of a sudden, he's like, "Let me go"?"
Archer
On a night jump in the freezing-ass cold to kill a Finnish double agent? Please.
"On a night jump in the freezing-ass cold to kill a Finnish double agent? Please."
Archer
So I'm like, "Yeah, let Archer go."
"So I'm like, "Yeah, let Archer go.""
Archer
But she's like:
"But she's like:"
Archer
[MIMICS MALORY] "Ray, it's your mission, and that's final."
"[MIMICS MALORY] "Ray, it's your mission, and that's final.""
Archer
[IN NORMAL VOICE] But why?
"[IN NORMAL VOICE] But why?"
Archer
Because, just between us gals and the C-130...
"Because, just between us gals and the C-130..."
Archer
I know, right?
"I know, right?"
Archer
I think Archer wanted this mission so he could cross into Russia...
"I think Archer wanted this mission so he could cross into Russia..."
Archer
...because he thinks Jakov might be his father.
"...because he thinks Jakov might be his father."
Archer
Y'all know me, I'm no gossip, but that is some scandalous-ass shit right there.
"Y'all know me, I'm no gossip, but that is some scandalous-ass shit right there."
Archer
What? Dukes. Unh!
"What? Dukes. Unh!"
Archer
ARCHER: Ray?
"ARCHER: Ray?"
Archer
Hey, if it's any consolation, you were right. Oh.
"Hey, if it's any consolation, you were right. Oh."
Archer
And, uh, by the way, try not to be unconscious too long.
"And, uh, by the way, try not to be unconscious too long."
Archer
It's super bad for you.
"It's super bad for you."
Archer
Hey, thanks, guys. Just tell my mother I pulled a gun on you, all right?
"Hey, thanks, guys. Just tell my mother I pulled a gun on you, all right?"
Archer
This is to share. Look at me. To share.
"This is to share. Look at me. To share."
Archer
You nut.
"You nut."
Archer
Drive to Saint Pete, grab a latte, then 400 miles to Moscow...
"Drive to Saint Pete, grab a latte, then 400 miles to Moscow..."
Archer
...putting me there right about the time Nikolai Jakov, head of the KGB...
"...putting me there right about the time Nikolai Jakov, head of the KGB..."
Archer
...comes home for his borscht, only to find an unexpected dinner guest.
"...comes home for his borscht, only to find an unexpected dinner guest."
Archer
Who may be his son. And for dessert, we will have the truth.
"Who may be his son. And for dessert, we will have the truth."
Archer
You hear that, Mother?
"You hear that, Mother?"
Archer
After a lifetime of your secrets and lies, we will finally have the truth!
"After a lifetime of your secrets and lies, we will finally have the truth!"
Archer
Oh, and also, hopefully, shitloads of vodka. Woo-hoo!
"Oh, and also, hopefully, shitloads of vodka. Woo-hoo!"
Archer
Parachute!
"Parachute!"
Archer
PILOT [OVER RADIO]: Chief, why's the door still...?
"PILOT [OVER RADIO]: Chief, why's the door still...?"
Archer
- Wait, don't tell me he just now jumped. - Yep.
"- Wait, don't tell me he just now jumped. - Yep."
Archer
- Yep. - Jesus. He give you the money?
"- Yep. - Jesus. He give you the money?"
Archer
Nope.
"Nope."
Archer
[PILOT SIGHS]
"[PILOT SIGHS]"
Archer
- What an asshole. - Yep.
"- What an asshole. - Yep."
Archer
Huh.
"Huh."
Archer
Okay. Ahem.
"Okay. Ahem."
Archer
Uh, hey.
"Uh, hey."
Archer