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Clips from Archer - Helping Hands (S11E11)

"[tense music]"
Archer
"Pam: Once you get through the northernmost skylight,"
Archer
"you're gonna crack it open and slide on in there"
Archer
"like the old lambskin you found"
Archer
"in your best friend's sister's purse‐‐"
Archer
"positioning you right above the cedarwood coffee table."
Archer
"‐ Okay, we're in."
Archer
"‐ Body cams are online and‐‐whoa, boy!"
Archer
"Cyril has not been skipping leg day."
Archer
"Cyril: Thank you, but focus. Krieger: Yep, yep, yep!"
Archer
"The furniture and floor are armed with timed"
Archer
"pressure‐sensitive alarms, so on every surface,"
Archer
"you only have‐‐ both: Three seconds."
Archer
"♪ ♪"
Archer
"‐ I can't believe we're at the headquarters of Hands,"
Archer
"the greatest inventor in history,"
Archer
"and I don't get to meet her."
Archer
"‐ Listen, man, we've all fallen for"
Archer
"a reclusive billionaire‐tech genius."
Archer
"‐ No, my lust for Hands is a more advanced brain lust,"
Archer
"if you will. ‐ [laughing] Like a zombie?"
Archer
"‐ Is brain lust why you designed"
Archer
"your hologram girlfriend to have"
Archer
"the same proportions as a Barbie?"
Archer
"Krieger: I'm looking for someone who challenges me."
Archer
"The only challenge with Mitsuko"
Archer
"is keeping her projector from overheating."
Archer
"‐ Jesus. This is heavy."
Archer
"Sure wish we could find a strength‐boosting"
Archer
"exo‐suit to make this easier."
Archer
"Krieger: Just through that tunnel and into the vault,"
Archer
"and your wish will soon be granted."
Archer
"‐ Any sign of JUNO operatives approaching?"
Archer
"Pam: No sign of those dicks yet,"
Archer
"but let's steal the shit we need and get the hell out"
Archer
"like it's one of Gillette's dinner parties."
Archer
"Lana: Copy that. Starting descent now."
Archer
"Cyril, do you have visual? ‐ [laughs nervously]"
Archer
"Affirmative."
Archer
"‐ What the‐‐ man: Took you long enough."
Archer
"[suspenseful music]"
Archer
"‐ What are you doing here?"
Archer
"‐ Why are you doing missions without me?"
Archer
"‐ How did you even know where we'd be?"
Archer
"‐ Because, Lana, I'm the world's greatest spy."
Archer
"‐ And how'd you get here before us?"
Archer
"‐ God damn it, Cyril. I just told you."
Archer
"I'm the world's greatest spy."
Archer
"‐ It is pretty impressive you shut off"
Archer
"all the countermeasures without our intel"
Archer
"so you could access the vault."
Archer
"[alarm sounding]"
Archer
"[lasers whirring]"
Archer
"‐ The‐‐do what now?"
Archer
"♪ ♪"
Archer
"[main title theme]"
Archer
"♪ ♪"
Archer
"‐ Have you seen Sterling?"
Archer
"‐ I don't know. Maybe. Probably...not."
Archer
"Probably not."
Archer
"‐ He was supposed to meet me for lunch an hour ago,"
Archer
"and that idiot stood me up."
Archer
"[jazzy music]"
Archer
"He should be here any minute. ‐ Yes, ma'am."
Archer
"Would you like me to bring out your seafood tower"
Archer
"when it's ready, or shall we wait?"
Archer
"‐ If I wanted my food to rot in the kitchen,"
Archer
"looking sad, I'd be ordering"
Archer
"a big bowl of you on your break."
Archer
"[gulps]"
Archer
"Find Sterling, tell him I'm here,"
Archer
"and then tell him I'm busy."
Archer
"Oh."
Archer
"And tell him that the Buckley Bay oysters"
Archer
"are out of season after today, and they were..."
Archer
"Archer: Unbelievable."
Archer
"You're doing missions without me?"
Archer
"‐ Because this is what happens when you come along!"
Archer
"‐ None of this would have happened"
Archer
"if you told me about the goddamn mission."
Archer
"‐ No, none of this would have happened"
Archer
"if you weren't a spoiled asshole."
Archer
"‐ Let's all take a breath."
Archer
"We can't change what has already happened."
Archer
"We must keep moving forward."
Archer
"‐ He's right. We just need to get there"
Archer
"and get the exo‐suit before JUNO shows up."
Archer
"‐ Okay, A, what's a JUNO? And, B, what's Cyril doing?"
Archer
"‐ I'm using a mantra to help remain focused on the present"
Archer
"and stay positive. ‐ Oh, my God, Cyril."
Archer
"No one wants a life coach whose entire life"
Archer
"has been a giant losing streak."
Archer
"‐ JUNO is a rival spy agency who started showing up"
Archer
"on our radar during your coma."
Archer
"Pam: Speaking of JUNO, I just set up a laser grid"
Archer
"around the perimeter of the compound"
Archer
"to alert us when they arrive."
Archer
"‐ You mean, if they arrive. ‐ Right."
Archer
"And if they do show up, we'll be out of here"
Archer
"because Krieger has us covered."
Archer
"‐ Then does Krieger want to explain"
Archer
"why I'm still on the floor, using my turtleneck"
Archer
"as a $3,000 broom?"
Archer
"Krieger: Working on it, but I'm gonna"
Archer
"need a retinal scan."
Archer
"[exciting music]"
Archer
"♪ ♪"
Archer
"[technology whirs]"
Archer
"‐ Is it unsettling to anybody else"
Archer
"how comfortable Cyril is playing Jim Henson"
Archer
"with a dead guy?"
Archer
"[metallic scrape, gears clicking]"
Archer
"[door hinges squeak]"
Archer
"‐ Archer, please stay outside."
Archer
"You've made your point, okay?"
Archer
"We're sorry for doing missions without you,"
Archer
"and we'll talk about everything after this is over."
Archer
"‐ But I‐‐ ‐ You'll just get in the way."
Archer
"‐ I'm only staying out here because I'm proving a point"
Archer
"about what I'd rather do than spend time with you two!"
Archer
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