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Clips from Archer - Archer: 1999 -- Mr. Deadly Goes to Town (S10E10)

"[screaming]"
Archer
"[dramatic music]"
Archer
"Cyril: Now that doesn't look right."
Archer
"- Why am I lookingat a black hole?"
Archer
"You know I hate those."
Archer
"- Yeah, we're nowhere near where we're supposed to be."
Archer
"- Well, maybe we should find the navigator"
Archer
"and throw something at him."
Archer
"- Wait, I'm the--hey!"
Archer
"- Seriously?"
Archer
"- Sorry, I didn't have anything heavier."
Archer
"- Also there's that."
Archer
"- That is the most evil thing I've ever seen."
Archer
"- This isn't my fault."
Archer
"I didn't enterthese coordinates."
Archer
"That thing summoned usout of hyperspace."
Archer
"- Well, don't just stand theregawping like stunned space elk."
Archer
"Go see if there's anythingworth salvaging."
Archer
"- You want us to walk into a thing"
Archer
"that might as well have"
Archer
""imminent death" written on the side?"
Archer
"- Well..."
Archer
"Since we're here."
Archer
"- Yep, and nothing terrible"
Archer
"ever happens in a place like this."
Archer
"- Hmm, I'm not finding much."
Archer
"Just a bunch of hallways that meet up over there."
Archer
"Ooh, I'm picking up large amounts of organic compounds!"
Archer
"Aww, but no moisture,"
Archer
"which only makes sense if it's--"
Archer
"- A giant field of old, dead aliens?"
Archer
"- Or an army of space mummies."
Archer
"- Uh, look up circuit-dick."
Archer
"- Oh, well, technically I'm correct"
Archer
"if they stand up...now!"
Archer
"Right now."
Archer
"- Instead of trying to raise the dead,"
Archer
"why don't we just find something shiny"
Archer
"and get the heck out of here?"
Archer
"Cyril, find anything?"
Archer
"- Well, it looks likethere are two kinds of aliens."
Archer
"Heavily armored and seems likethey've been here for eons."
Archer
"[coughing] Ah!"
Archer
"Dead--[coughs]--alien-- [coughs]--in--[coughs]--"
Archer
"my--[coughs]--lungs."
Archer
"- Whoa-ho! Cool!"
Archer
"Malory: We've decoded the writing on the outside"
Archer
"and it seemed...relevant."
Archer
"- Relevant how?"
Archer
"Malory: Well, as far as we can tell,"
Archer
"it's one phrase translated"
Archer
"into a dozen ancient languages."
Archer
""Beware. End of life." "Beware. End of life.""
Archer
"Any-hoo..."
Archer
"- Now I kind of wishwe'd worn helmets."
Archer
"- Time to go. Cyril, Pam."
Archer
"- [coughing] - Ha-ha!"
Archer
"Bring me the biggest goose in all of London!"
Archer
"[mechanical whirring]"
Archer
"- [English accent] Well, hello."
Archer
"I'm Mr. Deadly,"
Archer
"and I'm coming with you."
Archer
"- And if we don't take you?"
Archer
"[suspenseful music]"
Archer
"♪"
Archer
"- Written right on the side."
Archer
"[main title theme]"
Archer
"♪"
Archer
"[dramatic music]"
Archer
"♪"
Archer
"- Could you say that one more time?"
Archer
"- Bring me the biggest goo-- - Not you!"
Archer
"- I'm a sentient doomsday device"
Archer
"created by an extinct alien race but never used."
Archer
"- Wait, never used?What about all those bodies?"
Archer
"[lasers zapping]"
Archer
"- [roaring]"
Archer
"- [pained groaning]"
Archer
"- Well, hello.I'm Mr. Deadly."
Archer
"[sighs] Typical."
Archer
"I didn't kill them. They died fighting over me."
Archer
"- But you gestured threateningly."
Archer
"- I've been alone for thousands of years,"
Archer
"so my nonverbal communication skills are a bit rusty."
Archer
"- So wait, are youa weapon or not?"
Archer
"- As I said, doomsday device."
Archer
"Designed by a race to whom mutual destruction"
Archer
"was preferable to defeat."
Archer
"I was hidden away on the edge of space,"
Archer
"but the war I was created to end in fiery apotheosis"
Archer
"concluded without me."
Archer
"So there I remained, my only companions"
Archer
"the velvety dark and solitude itself."
Archer
"- And then?"
Archer
"- I got bored, so I nabbed you lot out of hyperspace"
Archer
"to help me explode, at which point"
Archer
"I'll atomize a few dozen solar systems."
Archer
"- [chuckles] Who else is turned on right now?"
Archer
"Krieger: Always on. others: Not at all."
Archer
"- Am I to understand"
Archer
"that we broughta giant bomb onto the ship"
Archer
"because you misunderstoodits gestures?"
Archer
"- Yeah, keep working on it, buddy."
Archer
"- Now, with that out of the way,"
Archer
"would you say "Please detonate"?"
Archer
"- Plea-- [thuds]"
Archer
"- Keep little Miss Death Wishconfined here until we decide"
Archer
"what to do with thatwalking apocalypse."
Archer
"- So we're just supposed to sithere and twiddle our thumbs?"
Archer
"- I'm sure what you do with your thumbs"
Archer
"is entirely your business."
Archer
"- [sighs]"
Archer
"- Yeah, just seethe silently. That'll show her."
Archer
"- Well, you're stuck here, too."
Archer
"- I'm always stuck here."
Archer
"- [giggling]"
Archer
"- What?"
Archer
"- I'm just laughing"
Archer
"at how little they respect you."
Archer
"- [sighs]God, I need a drink."
Archer
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