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Clips from Archer - Animation (S02E02)

Short Films 2009 Season 2, Episode 8 7 min 441 clips
Short Sport Documentary

Episodes from this show

Title Season Episode
Mole Hunt 1 1
Training Day 1 2
Diversity Hire 1 3
Killing Utne 1 4
Honeypot 1 5
Skorpio 1 6
Skytanic 1 7
The Rock 1 8
Job Offer 1 9
Dial M for Mother 1 10
Swiss Miss 2 1
Animation 2 2
Animation 2 3
Animation 2 4
Animation 2 5
Animation 2 6
Animation 2 7
Animation 2 8
Animation 2 9
Animation 2 10
Animation 2 11
Animation 2 12
Animation 2 13
Animation 3 1
Animation 3 2
Animation 3 3
Animation 3 4
Animation 3 5
Animation 3 6
Animation 3 7
Animation 3 8
Animation 3 9
Animation 3 10
Animation 3 11
Animation 3 12
Animation 3 13
Fugue and Riffs 4 1
Animation 4 2
Animation 4 3
Animation 4 4
Animation 4 5
Animation 4 6
Animation 4 7
Animation 4 8
Animation 4 9
Animation 4 10
Animation 4 11
Animation 5 1
Animation 5 2
Animation 5 3
Animation 5 4
Animation 5 5
Animation 5 6
Animation 5 7
Animation 5 8
Animation 5 9
Animation 5 10
Title Season Episode
Animation 5 11
Animation 5 12
Animation 5 13
The Holdout 6 1
Three to Tango 6 2
The Archer Sanction 6 3
Edie's Wedding 6 4
Vision Quest 6 5
Sitting 6 6
Animation 6 7
Animation 6 8
Animation 6 9
Animation 6 10
Animation 6 11
Animation 6 12
Animation 6 13
The Figgis Agency 7 1
The Handoff 7 2
Deadly Prep 7 3
Motherless Child 7 4
Bel Panto: Part I 7 5
Bel Panto: Part II 7 6
Double Indecency 7 7
Liquid Lunch 7 8
Deadly Velvet: Part 1 7 9
Deadly Velvet: Part 2 7 10
Animation 8 1
Animation 8 2
Animation 8 3
Animation 8 4
Animation 8 5
Animation 8 6
Animation 8 7
Animation 8 8
Danger Island: Different Modes of Preparing the Fruit 9 3
Danger Island: A Warrior in Costume 9 4
Danger Island: Strange Doings in the Taboo Groves 9 5
Danger Island: Some Remarks on Cannibalism 9 6
Danger Island: Comparative Wickedness of Civilized and Unenlightened Peoples 9 7
Archer: 1999 -- Bort the Garj 10 1
Archer: 1999 -- Happy Borthday 10 2
Archer: 1999 -- The Leftovers 10 3
Archer: 1999 -- Dining with the Zarglorp 10 4
Archer: 1999 -- Mr. Deadly Goes to Town 10 5
Archer: 1999 -- Road Trip 10 6
Archer: 1999 -- Space Pirates 10 7
Archer: 1999 -- Cubert 10 8
Archer: 1999 -- Robert De Niro 10 9
The Orpheus Gambit 11 1
Bloodsploosh 11 2
Helping Hands 11 3
Robot Factory 11 4
Best Friends 11 5
The Double Date 11 6
Caught Napping 11 7
Cold Fusion 11 8
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
"[THUNDER RUMBLING]"
Archer
CHERYL: Ugh, a rainy day and a Monday.
"CHERYL: Ugh, a rainy day and a Monday."
Archer
If I cared about what you do on the weekend...
"If I cared about what you do on the weekend..."
Archer
It took all weekend, but I finally got that payroll glitch sorted out.
"It took all weekend, but I finally got that payroll glitch sorted out."
Archer
- I said by 5 on Friday. - Yeah, sorry, the computer was down...
"- I said by 5 on Friday. - Yeah, sorry, the computer was down..."
Archer
Pam, those quarterly reports better be on my desk when I walk in there.
"Pam, those quarterly reports better be on my desk when I walk in there."
Archer
Hey, hey, now, come on, honey, it's...
"Hey, hey, now, come on, honey, it's..."
Archer
- Idiots. Surrounded by nothing but... - What the hell is your problem?
"- Idiots. Surrounded by nothing but... - What the hell is your problem?"
Archer
No. I want you to get out.
"No. I want you to get out."
Archer
...and they found something.
"...and they found something."
Archer
- Oh, my God. - Yeah.
"- Oh, my God. - Yeah."
Archer
You have to swear you won't breathe a word of this to anyone.
"You have to swear you won't breathe a word of this to anyone."
Archer
Totally, yes.
"Totally, yes."
Archer
- I'm not, I swear. This is about... - Breast cancer? Oh, you poor thing.
"- I'm not, I swear. This is about... - Breast cancer? Oh, you poor thing."
Archer
And would you get off? Breath?
"And would you get off? Breath?"
Archer
I'll let you know if I need a hybrid pigboy.
"I'll let you know if I need a hybrid pigboy."
Archer
A what? That... What are you...? I don't have one of those.
"A what? That... What are you...? I don't have one of those."
Archer
[PIG SQUEALING AND KRIEGER GRUNTING]
"[PIG SQUEALING AND KRIEGER GRUNTING]"
Archer
That'll do.
"That'll do."
Archer
At a spy agency?
"At a spy agency?"
Archer
- Pam. - No, you don't. Pam.
"- Pam. - No, you don't. Pam."
Archer
CYRIL: Nice work, Pam. - Damn her piggy little eyes.
"CYRIL: Nice work, Pam. - Damn her piggy little eyes."
Archer
Aww, Pigley.
"Aww, Pigley."
Archer
Hey, can you not? Right now?
"Hey, can you not? Right now?"
Archer
Doctor, I have Ms. Archer's results.
"Doctor, I have Ms. Archer's results."
Archer
- Rita. And you said you'd call me. - Really? To both statements?
"- Rita. And you said you'd call me. - Really? To both statements?"
Archer
The first test was a false-positive. You're totally fine.
"The first test was a false-positive. You're totally fine."
Archer
- Peggy? - I can't believe it, it's such a relief.
"- Peggy? - I can't believe it, it's such a relief."
Archer
- Wow. - "Wow" what?
"- Wow. - "Wow" what?"
Archer
Wanna grab a drink later?
"Wanna grab a drink later?"
Archer
ARCHER: Yup. Stage II breast cancer.
"ARCHER: Yup. Stage II breast cancer."
Archer
Hey, how about we check each other?
"Hey, how about we check each other?"
Archer
Lumpectomy. I go in for surgery next week and they'll try to cut it all out.
"Lumpectomy. I go in for surgery next week and they'll try to cut it all out."
Archer
LANA: Oh! CYRIL: Oh, God.
"LANA: Oh! CYRIL: Oh, God."
Archer
If they can't get it or if it spreads to my lymph nodes, they'll do chemo...
"If they can't get it or if it spreads to my lymph nodes, they'll do chemo..."
Archer
...but I'm trying to stay positive because I can beat this.
"...but I'm trying to stay positive because I can beat this."
Archer
Not that, dick. Your whole outlook. All this positivity and whatever.
"Not that, dick. Your whole outlook. All this positivity and whatever."
Archer
Well, I have to be positive, Lana. I gotta stay strong.
"Well, I have to be positive, Lana. I gotta stay strong."
Archer
- Heh, heh. Uh... BRETT: Huh?
"- Heh, heh. Uh... BRETT: Huh?"
Archer
- Excuse me. BRETT: Oh!
"- Excuse me. BRETT: Oh!"
Archer
- He certainly doesn't have cancer in his fist. - He is beating his ass.
"- He certainly doesn't have cancer in his fist. - He is beating his ass."
Archer
Now, if you will all excuse me again...
"Now, if you will all excuse me again..."
Archer
Brett.
"Brett."
Archer
- He's not even your real kid. - So?
"- He's not even your real kid. - So?"
Archer
Come on, Trinette, Seamus may not be my son...
"Come on, Trinette, Seamus may not be my son..."
Archer
- Where are you taking him? - I don't know.
"- Where are you taking him? - I don't know."
Archer
- I mean, my God, I was the one who... - Was getting all the attention?
"- I mean, my God, I was the one who... - Was getting all the attention?"
Archer
TRINETTE: What the shit?
"TRINETTE: What the shit?"
Archer
Not yours, shitbrain. His.
"Not yours, shitbrain. His."
Archer
It's like we've got each other's backs. Heh-heh-heh.
"It's like we've got each other's backs. Heh-heh-heh."
Archer
How about I slip somebody 100 bucks to throw acid in your face?
"How about I slip somebody 100 bucks to throw acid in your face?"
Archer
I'm riddled with cancer, Woodhouse, and you wanna take a vacation?
"I'm riddled with cancer, Woodhouse, and you wanna take a vacation?"
Archer
- Who's Dicky? - My brother.
"- Who's Dicky? - My brother."
Archer
Did I mention I have cancer?
"Did I mention I have cancer?"
Archer
God, what a trip. Barely got back in time for surgery. You should've been there.
"God, what a trip. Barely got back in time for surgery. You should've been there."
Archer
...so I'm gonna work on that, okay?
"...so I'm gonna work on that, okay?"
Archer
And so I wanted to say I'm sorry, Pam...
"And so I wanted to say I'm sorry, Pam..."
Archer
- Yeah. - Here, take two.
"- Yeah. - Here, take two."
Archer
Ow. But I've never even been to Las Vegas.
"Ow. But I've never even been to Las Vegas."
Archer
Are you scared?
"Are you scared?"
Archer
Me too, Mother.
"Me too, Mother."
Archer
There's so much I still wanna do.
"There's so much I still wanna do."
Archer
Oh, now, you're gonna be fine.
"Oh, now, you're gonna be fine."
Archer
Look at me. You are going to beat cancer.
"Look at me. You are going to beat cancer."
Archer
But what if I don't?
"But what if I don't?"
Archer
LANA: Um... - Can you take him home?
"LANA: Um... - Can you take him home?"
Archer
- Can you not? - No.
"- Can you not? - No."
Archer
- Don't worry about it, just... - Lana, I'm in love with you.
"- Don't worry about it, just... - Lana, I'm in love with you."
Archer
...so I really don't think I should be alone tonight.
"...so I really don't think I should be alone tonight."
Archer
[BURPS]
"[BURPS]"
Archer
Why are you in my...? Oh, shit.
"Why are you in my...? Oh, shit."
Archer
- We can talk after your surgery. - Right? Mm-hm.
"- We can talk after your surgery. - Right? Mm-hm."
Archer
Sterling? Was that him?
"Sterling? Was that him?"
Archer
- Yeah, where were you? - The cafeteria.
"- Yeah, where were you? - The cafeteria."
Archer
Bear claws. Rowr.
"Bear claws. Rowr."
Archer
- I've been here since 6. - Rowr.
"- I've been here since 6. - Rowr."
Archer
- He was four hours late to his own surgery. - Yeah. Kind of a late night.
"- He was four hours late to his own surgery. - Yeah. Kind of a late night."
Archer
[PAM LAUGHING]
"[PAM LAUGHING]"
Archer
- Hooray. - Oh, shut up.
"- Hooray. - Oh, shut up."
Archer
Still too soon.
"Still too soon."
Archer
I have to take a rain check on that drink. I'm on call this weekend.
"I have to take a rain check on that drink. I'm on call this weekend."
Archer
And now Mr. Archer is...
"And now Mr. Archer is..."
Archer
- We grabbed a bear claw. - Rowr.
"- We grabbed a bear claw. - Rowr."
Archer
Oh. Let's hope not.
"Oh. Let's hope not."
Archer
Don't apologize to me, apologize to the Brazilian rosewood.
"Don't apologize to me, apologize to the Brazilian rosewood."
Archer
[PHONE RINGING]
"[PHONE RINGING]"
Archer
- Super scared. - Not really.
"- Super scared. - Not really."
Archer
But the thing is... Woodhouse, answer the damn phone.
"But the thing is... Woodhouse, answer the damn phone."
Archer
You may want to hold off on that.
"You may want to hold off on that."
Archer
...until your post-op results came in. - What?
"...until your post-op results came in. - What?"
Archer
So, what are you saying?
"So, what are you saying?"
Archer
- Holy shitsnacks. - What's cancer?
"- Holy shitsnacks. - What's cancer?"
Archer
Yeah, so I guess this party was a little premature, huh?
"Yeah, so I guess this party was a little premature, huh?"
Archer
- This isn't, you know, um, good, but... - Excuse me.
"- This isn't, you know, um, good, but... - Excuse me."
Archer
- That was the best you could do? - Shut up.
"- That was the best you could do? - Shut up."
Archer
What did I expect? Jesus, look at how I've treated all of you.
"What did I expect? Jesus, look at how I've treated all of you."
Archer
Carol and Pam and Cyril.
"Carol and Pam and Cyril."
Archer
Woodhouse, seriously, a little help.
"Woodhouse, seriously, a little help."
Archer
Archer residence.
"Archer residence."
Archer
Was that so hard?
"Was that so hard?"
Archer
Anyhoo, turns out I mixed up your chart with another patient's.
"Anyhoo, turns out I mixed up your chart with another patient's."
Archer
[ALL CHEERING]
"[ALL CHEERING]"
Archer
Cyril, I don't wanna see you with an empty glass.
"Cyril, I don't wanna see you with an empty glass."
Archer
But I'm pretty sure ISIS can get you a whole new identity, Cyril.
"But I'm pretty sure ISIS can get you a whole new identity, Cyril."
Archer
Lana, so here's the thing...
"Lana, so here's the thing..."
Archer
- Wait, who is this? - Rita.
"- Wait, who is this? - Rita."
Archer
Hang on, Peggy, I got another call.
"Hang on, Peggy, I got another call."
Archer
Well, you are just gonna kill me...
"Well, you are just gonna kill me..."
Archer
...but turns out I was right the first time.
"...but turns out I was right the first time."
Archer
Are you here?
"Are you here?"
Archer
Eh.
"Eh."
Archer
Do anything fun this weekend?
"Do anything fun this weekend?"
Archer
Because I sure did. Friday night was Cornhole League, then on Saturday...
"Because I sure did. Friday night was Cornhole League, then on Saturday..."
Archer
...l'd stick a shotgun in my mouth and pull the trigger with my toes.
"...l'd stick a shotgun in my mouth and pull the trigger with my toes."
Archer
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
"[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]"
Archer
CYRIL: Morning, Ms. Archer.
"CYRIL: Morning, Ms. Archer."
Archer
PAM: Careful, it's pretty delicate. - Wow, and this is all marzipan?
"PAM: Careful, it's pretty delicate. - Wow, and this is all marzipan?"
Archer
Except for the barn. That's just graham crackers and icing.
"Except for the barn. That's just graham crackers and icing."
Archer
- Your dad is gonna love it. - I hope so.
"- Your dad is gonna love it. - I hope so."
Archer
Are you walking in there right now?
"Are you walking in there right now?"
Archer