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Clips from Archer - Animation (S02E02)

Short Films 2009 Season 2, Episode 13 7 min 482 clips
Short Sport Documentary

Episodes from this show

Title Season Episode
Mole Hunt 1 1
Training Day 1 2
Diversity Hire 1 3
Killing Utne 1 4
Honeypot 1 5
Skorpio 1 6
Skytanic 1 7
The Rock 1 8
Job Offer 1 9
Dial M for Mother 1 10
Swiss Miss 2 1
Animation 2 2
Animation 2 3
Animation 2 4
Animation 2 5
Animation 2 6
Animation 2 7
Animation 2 8
Animation 2 9
Animation 2 10
Animation 2 11
Animation 2 12
Animation 2 13
Animation 3 1
Animation 3 2
Animation 3 3
Animation 3 4
Animation 3 5
Animation 3 6
Animation 3 7
Animation 3 8
Animation 3 9
Animation 3 10
Animation 3 11
Animation 3 12
Animation 3 13
Fugue and Riffs 4 1
Animation 4 2
Animation 4 3
Animation 4 4
Animation 4 5
Animation 4 6
Animation 4 7
Animation 4 8
Animation 4 9
Animation 4 10
Animation 4 11
Animation 5 1
Animation 5 2
Animation 5 3
Animation 5 4
Animation 5 5
Animation 5 6
Animation 5 7
Animation 5 8
Animation 5 9
Animation 5 10
Title Season Episode
Animation 5 11
Animation 5 12
Animation 5 13
The Holdout 6 1
Three to Tango 6 2
The Archer Sanction 6 3
Edie's Wedding 6 4
Vision Quest 6 5
Sitting 6 6
Animation 6 7
Animation 6 8
Animation 6 9
Animation 6 10
Animation 6 11
Animation 6 12
Animation 6 13
The Figgis Agency 7 1
The Handoff 7 2
Deadly Prep 7 3
Motherless Child 7 4
Bel Panto: Part I 7 5
Bel Panto: Part II 7 6
Double Indecency 7 7
Liquid Lunch 7 8
Deadly Velvet: Part 1 7 9
Deadly Velvet: Part 2 7 10
Animation 8 1
Animation 8 2
Animation 8 3
Animation 8 4
Animation 8 5
Animation 8 6
Animation 8 7
Animation 8 8
Danger Island: Different Modes of Preparing the Fruit 9 3
Danger Island: A Warrior in Costume 9 4
Danger Island: Strange Doings in the Taboo Groves 9 5
Danger Island: Some Remarks on Cannibalism 9 6
Danger Island: Comparative Wickedness of Civilized and Unenlightened Peoples 9 7
Archer: 1999 -- Bort the Garj 10 1
Archer: 1999 -- Happy Borthday 10 2
Archer: 1999 -- The Leftovers 10 3
Archer: 1999 -- Dining with the Zarglorp 10 4
Archer: 1999 -- Mr. Deadly Goes to Town 10 5
Archer: 1999 -- Road Trip 10 6
Archer: 1999 -- Space Pirates 10 7
Archer: 1999 -- Cubert 10 8
Archer: 1999 -- Robert De Niro 10 9
The Orpheus Gambit 11 1
Bloodsploosh 11 2
Helping Hands 11 3
Robot Factory 11 4
Best Friends 11 5
The Double Date 11 6
Caught Napping 11 7
Cold Fusion 11 8
- It's fine, please excuse me. - My Mother's...
"- It's fine, please excuse me. - My Mother's..."
Archer
Check the break room.
"Check the break room."
Archer
And you. Go see Krieger this instant.
"And you. Go see Krieger this instant."
Archer
CHERYL: With our earballs.
"CHERYL: With our earballs."
Archer
She killed, like, 10 Russians to save my life.
"She killed, like, 10 Russians to save my life."
Archer
[GASPS, THEN SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]
"[GASPS, THEN SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]"
Archer
Right? Almost as cool as my van.
"Right? Almost as cool as my van."
Archer
Wait, please tell me you're into Rush.
"Wait, please tell me you're into Rush."
Archer
Oh, the only rush I know is my love for your comrade, Sterling Archer.
"Oh, the only rush I know is my love for your comrade, Sterling Archer."
Archer
Here, drink this. You're talking crazy.
"Here, drink this. You're talking crazy."
Archer
So, what do you think?
"So, what do you think?"
Archer
But I'll just bet Nikolai Jakov is so jealous of my, ahem, friendship with Len Trexler...
"But I'll just bet Nikolai Jakov is so jealous of my, ahem, friendship with Len Trexler..."
Archer
- No, you have actual egg on your face. - What? Unh!
"- No, you have actual egg on your face. - What? Unh!"
Archer
[KNOCKS ON DOOR]
"[KNOCKS ON DOOR]"
Archer
...and I was trying to beat my record for cramming pool balls in my mouth...
"...and I was trying to beat my record for cramming pool balls in my mouth..."
Archer
- No. You swallowed a pool ball? - I wish just one.
"- No. You swallowed a pool ball? - I wish just one."
Archer
A green card?
"A green card?"
Archer
First of all...
"First of all..."
Archer
- What? KATYA: What?
"- What? KATYA: What?"
Archer
Oh, you are just your mother all over.
"Oh, you are just your mother all over."
Archer
Does one ring rule them all?
"Does one ring rule them all?"
Archer
PAM: Oh, shit.
"PAM: Oh, shit."
Archer
Wait till everybody sees this.
"Wait till everybody sees this."
Archer
And then we beginning Phase Three.
"And then we beginning Phase Three."
Archer
Darling, I swear, it's a fake.
"Darling, I swear, it's a fake."
Archer
Although, that is what you'd say if you were a double agent.
"Although, that is what you'd say if you were a double agent."
Archer
- Wait, no, no, no. - Ow, ow.
"- Wait, no, no, no. - Ow, ow."
Archer
- Damn it. ARCHER: Ha-ha-ha.
"- Damn it. ARCHER: Ha-ha-ha."
Archer
I bet Mother was hitting star again.
"I bet Mother was hitting star again."
Archer
Anywhere but there.
"Anywhere but there."
Archer
- Lf I wanted to hit her, I could have. - Well, yeah, she is huge.
"- Lf I wanted to hit her, I could have. - Well, yeah, she is huge."
Archer
And what about helping me escape?
"And what about helping me escape?"
Archer
- But he is not a double agent. - Are you retarded?
"- But he is not a double agent. - Are you retarded?"
Archer
[CHUCKLES]
"[CHUCKLES]"
Archer
Zip it, you two.
"Zip it, you two."
Archer
- Yes. - Even her?
"- Yes. - Even her?"
Archer
For God's sake, are you hearing yourself?
"For God's sake, are you hearing yourself?"
Archer
Woodhouse? Listen very carefully.
"Woodhouse? Listen very carefully."
Archer
And, uh, calfskin, you said? Aah...
"And, uh, calfskin, you said? Aah..."
Archer
...isn't my idea of a good time.
"...isn't my idea of a good time."
Archer
So nyet promotion...
"So nyet promotion..."
Archer
I can't hold it, she's breaking up.
"I can't hold it, she's breaking up."
Archer
We have the technology.
"We have the technology."
Archer
Barry Dillon will be that man.
"Barry Dillon will be that man."
Archer
Better than he was before.
"Better than he was before."
Archer
MAN: And what brings you to New York, Mr. Berg?
"MAN: And what brings you to New York, Mr. Berg?"
Archer
So, um, comrade Bionic Barry, can you solve my Kasanova problem?
"So, um, comrade Bionic Barry, can you solve my Kasanova problem?"
Archer
But since I don't and/or do not...
"But since I don't and/or do not..."
Archer
- Hail, Mary, mother of... BARRY: Unh!
"- Hail, Mary, mother of... BARRY: Unh!"
Archer
Let's, uh, put a pin in that promotion.
"Let's, uh, put a pin in that promotion."
Archer
This van's, like, rolling probable cause.
"This van's, like, rolling probable cause."
Archer
- So all ashore from the S.S. Date Rape. - Toot, toot.
"- So all ashore from the S.S. Date Rape. - Toot, toot."
Archer
...so we can draw where the zippers are gonna go on your body.
"...so we can draw where the zippers are gonna go on your body."
Archer
At one time, yes, but I needed a place to sew your suits, you see, so...
"At one time, yes, but I needed a place to sew your suits, you see, so..."
Archer
- Eh. - Uh...
"- Eh. - Uh..."
Archer
But, sir, you can't leave. Your mother...
"But, sir, you can't leave. Your mother..."
Archer
You're serious, aren't you?
"You're serious, aren't you?"
Archer
Woodhouse, I quit drinking for her.
"Woodhouse, I quit drinking for her."
Archer
- No, I guess it wouldn't be Mother's. - No, sir, it was her mother's.
"- No, I guess it wouldn't be Mother's. - No, sir, it was her mother's."
Archer
Ugh. Please don't make him into a suitcase.
"Ugh. Please don't make him into a suitcase."
Archer
Who do you think's been paying my salary all these years?
"Who do you think's been paying my salary all these years?"
Archer
I just thought you were... Well, slave's not the right word, but, really?
"I just thought you were... Well, slave's not the right word, but, really?"
Archer
MALORY: Sterling, dear.
"MALORY: Sterling, dear."
Archer
Katya, I swear, I've never been more sure about anything.
"Katya, I swear, I've never been more sure about anything."
Archer
But no shots center-mass. Just try to wing them.
"But no shots center-mass. Just try to wing them."
Archer
Mother, no.
"Mother, no."
Archer
I know you're having a disturbingly hard time with this...
"I know you're having a disturbingly hard time with this..."
Archer
I knew I forgot to mention something, and it was this.
"I knew I forgot to mention something, and it was this."
Archer
We will talk about it in the van.
"We will talk about it in the van."
Archer
Well, since it sounds like I don't have to help with the wedding plans...
"Well, since it sounds like I don't have to help with the wedding plans..."
Archer
I thought I'd be dead long before this day ever came.
"I thought I'd be dead long before this day ever came."
Archer
Oh, shut up, you old sourpuss.
"Oh, shut up, you old sourpuss."
Archer
- Thank you, thank you. - Uh-huh.
"- Thank you, thank you. - Uh-huh."
Archer
- And, plus, we still need a priest, so... - How about a disgraced former minister?
"- And, plus, we still need a priest, so... - How about a disgraced former minister?"
Archer
ARCHER: What? PAM: What the shit?
"ARCHER: What? PAM: What the shit?"
Archer
Long story, kind of boring...
"Long story, kind of boring..."
Archer
...but I am still licensed by the state to perform marriages...
"...but I am still licensed by the state to perform marriages..."
Archer
ALL: Barry? - Yes, Barry, hi.
"ALL: Barry? - Yes, Barry, hi."
Archer
And what's ironic is Archer, besides sodomizing my fiancée...
"And what's ironic is Archer, besides sodomizing my fiancée..."
Archer
- The unholy abomination of metal fused with flesh which now stands before you.
"- The unholy abomination of metal fused with flesh which now stands before you."
Archer
Yeah, so back to the irony, now I'm gonna throw you off the roof.
"Yeah, so back to the irony, now I'm gonna throw you off the roof."
Archer
Wow, Barry, you're, like, super strong.
"Wow, Barry, you're, like, super strong."
Archer
- Archer, we're out of ammo. - Well, I'm not.
"- Archer, we're out of ammo. - Well, I'm not."
Archer
And if anyone's going to ruin my son's wedding...
"And if anyone's going to ruin my son's wedding..."
Archer
BARRY: Archer! KATYA: I love you!
"BARRY: Archer! KATYA: I love you!"
Archer
[SOBBING] Oh, Katya, no!
"[SOBBING] Oh, Katya, no!"
Archer
[GASPING AND MOANING]
"[GASPING AND MOANING]"
Archer
Mm, Sterling Archer. The world's most dangerous spy.
"Mm, Sterling Archer. The world's most dangerous spy."
Archer
ARCHER: Oh, I don't know about all that.
"ARCHER: Oh, I don't know about all that."
Archer
No? Well, do you know that I fell in love the moment I saw you?
"No? Well, do you know that I fell in love the moment I saw you?"
Archer
ARCHER: Really? With who?
"ARCHER: Really? With who?"
Archer
KATYA: Oh, you silly man, who do you think?
"KATYA: Oh, you silly man, who do you think?"
Archer
Well, I don't know. There were a lot of guys there.
"Well, I don't know. There were a lot of guys there."
Archer
[GUNS COCK]
"[GUNS COCK]"
Archer
KATYA: Not when I was finished.
"KATYA: Not when I was finished."
Archer
ARCHER: Oh.
"ARCHER: Oh."
Archer
Oh, I like the way that sounds.
"Oh, I like the way that sounds."
Archer
Me too. Me, and you, and...
"Me too. Me, and you, and..."
Archer
[SCREAMS AND GASPS]
"[SCREAMS AND GASPS]"
Archer
Hello.
"Hello."
Archer
...do you think you're doing?
"...do you think you're doing?"
Archer
ARCHER: I, um... - Darling, I know she is old...
"ARCHER: I, um... - Darling, I know she is old..."
Archer
...but you allow such talk from your secretary?
"...but you allow such talk from your secretary?"
Archer
Katya, this is actually my mother.
"Katya, this is actually my mother."
Archer
[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]
"[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]"
Archer
And, Mother, this is Katya Kasanova.
"And, Mother, this is Katya Kasanova."
Archer
She saved my life in Moscow, she's former KGB...
"She saved my life in Moscow, she's former KGB..."
Archer
...she wants to defect and become an ISIS agent and she's...
"...she wants to defect and become an ISIS agent and she's..."
Archer
Mortified. I beg your forgiveness.
"Mortified. I beg your forgiveness."
Archer
And don't you want to freshen up after your long ride?
"And don't you want to freshen up after your long ride?"
Archer
Phrasing, Mother. Sorry, Katya.
"Phrasing, Mother. Sorry, Katya."
Archer
Maybe you'll get lucky and find some Wetnaps.
"Maybe you'll get lucky and find some Wetnaps."
Archer
What...? I don't need a doctor, Mother. Katya doesn't have VD.
"What...? I don't need a doctor, Mother. Katya doesn't have VD."
Archer
Ha, ha. For your... That was pretty good.
"Ha, ha. For your... That was pretty good."
Archer
I want Krieger to x-ray that tiny brain of yours...
"I want Krieger to x-ray that tiny brain of yours..."
Archer
What? No, they didn't.
"What? No, they didn't."
Archer
Then you're as dumb as you are stupid, because best-case scenario...
"Then you're as dumb as you are stupid, because best-case scenario..."
Archer
...that Russian tramp wants to con you into marriage for a green card, and...
"...that Russian tramp wants to con you into marriage for a green card, and..."
Archer
LANA: Hah! - Why doesn't everybody come in here?
"LANA: Hah! - Why doesn't everybody come in here?"
Archer
PAM: It's okay. We can hear from out here.
"PAM: It's okay. We can hear from out here."
Archer