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Clips from Archer - Archer: 1999 -- Road Trip (S10E10)

"[screaming]"
Archer
"ANNOUNCER: FXX presents Archer 1999."
Archer
"♪"
Archer
"ARCHER: Lana."
Archer
"Lana."
Archer
"-[inhales deeply] -Let me go ahead"
Archer
"and save you the trouble of shouting my name"
Archer
"-like a shrill five-year-old...-Shrill?"
Archer
"...and point out that I'm a little busy"
Archer
"doing both our jobs."
Archer
"Which I'd be helping you with"
Archer
"if I could find the goddamn cherries."
Archer
"What cherries?"
Archer
"The maraschino cherries, Lana. I..."
Archer
"We are entering the atmosphere of an uncharted planet"
Archer
"at a couple thousand miles per hour"
Archer
"to check out a distress beacon,"
Archer
"and you're talking to me about cherries?"
Archer
"She said. Dryly."
Archer
"Sorry. I didn't invent how to make a whiskey sour, Lana."
Archer
"Here's an idea."
Archer
"Maybe try inventing not doing that right now."
Archer
"God, lighten up. It's a road trip."
Archer
"Who goes on a road trip without a few cocktails?"
Archer
"-Look... -Trick question, Lana."
Archer
"-No one does. -This isn't..."
Archer
"The time to try new things. Exactly."
Archer
"Especially when we're going a thousand miles per..."
Archer
"Goddamn it!"
Archer
"-[alarm blaring] -[crackling]"
Archer
"FEMALE VOICE: System failure."
Archer
"System failure."
Archer
"Autopilot is out!"
Archer
"[grunts] I got it."
Archer
"-[laughing] -What is happening?-KRIEGER: What are they doing?!"
Archer
"-[whimpering] -Goddamn it!"
Archer
"The hell's going on up there?"
Archer
"Don't look at me!"
Archer
"Talk to Captain Road Trip over here!"
Archer
"What? Oh, how is this suddenly my fault?"
Archer
"We're coming in hot!"
Archer
"Everyone, hang on!"
Archer
"Hey, if you happen to see any cherries back there..."
Archer
"Oh, God, give it a rest!"
Archer
"You give it a rest!"
Archer
"[all shouting]"
Archer
"-[crash] -[grunting]"
Archer
"♪"
Archer
"[crackling]"
Archer
"-[Cheryl laughing] -[Cyril crying] -Ow!"
Archer
"-Holy shitsnacks! -[coughs]"
Archer
"[bottle rolling]"
Archer
"[bottle clinks]"
Archer
"Never mind."
Archer
"Found the cherries."
Archer
"[Archertheme playing]"
Archer
"So, got some good news and some bad news."
Archer
"Any chanceyou're gonna tell us what it is?"
Archer
"Oh. Right."
Archer
"The bad news is, comms are dead"
Archer
"and the fuel cell's ruptured,"
Archer
"so we're not going anywhere anytime soon."
Archer
"Hang on. You mean we're frickin' stranded?"
Archer
"[scoffs] Not stranded, dummy."
Archer
"He said "soon.""
Archer
"Though I technically meant "ever.""
Archer
"Then what's the good news?"
Archer
"Hmm. Guess it was mostly just bad news."
Archer
"-Damn it, Krieger! -God, relax."
Archer
"He said "mostly.""
Archer
"So... completely inoperable."
Archer
"Um, what are you doing?"
Archer
"Oh. Uh, since our insurance claims keep getting denied,"
Archer
"Ms. Archer has put me in charge of the paperwork."
Archer
"Cause of accident:"
Archer
"barely functional alcoholism."
Archer
"-Hey! -All right, listen up."
Archer
"Let's salvage what we can from the shuttle"
Archer
"and find the distress beacon."
Archer
"It's probably a downed ship,"
Archer
"so maybe there's a fuel cell we can use."
Archer
"ARCHER: Way ahead of you."
Archer
"On the "salvage what you can" part."
Archer
"-Unbelievable. -[snickers] Right?"
Archer
"What are the chances lemons would survive the..."
Archer
"Can you please focus?"
Archer
"Why? Mother's probably putting together"
Archer
"a rescue plan as we speak."
Archer
"-[Muzak playing] -[beeping]"
Archer
"Mm. should probably check"
Archer
"on why their comms are down."
Archer
"Meh. Feels like it can wait."
Archer
"[sighs deeply]"
Archer
"Everything can wait."
Archer
"♪"
Archer
"[smacks lips, sighs]"
Archer
"Speaking of, anybody want in on this?"
Archer
"I'm about to make another batch."
Archer
"-Seriously? -Road trip."
Archer
"Which we may be on forever if we're stranded here."
Archer
"Oh, take it easy, Lana. It'll be fine."
Archer
"And this blithe optimism is based on what, exactly?"
Archer
"Because this is me we're talking about."
Archer
"Wildly reassuring."
Archer
"Trust me on this."
Archer
"I have mastered the art of blind luck."
Archer
"No offense to your blind luck,"
Archer
"but it might be nice to have a plan B."
Archer
"Why? Seriously, do you have any idea"
Archer
"how many times I should haveliterally died in the last year?"
Archer
"-Wow me. -Krieger, tell her."
Archer
"Including that thing last week?"
Archer
"Hey! This is totally safe, right?"
Archer
"-Technically? -As in "actually," Krieger!"
Archer
"Kind of feels like probably."
Archer
"To both of those."
Archer
"Whoa, whoa, wait! What?!"
Archer
"-Then nine. -Boosh."
Archer
"Please tell me there's a point."
Archer
"Point is, if you hit pause"
Archer
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