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Clips from Archer - Archer: 1999 -- Dining with the Zarglorp (S10E10)

"(screaming)"
Archer
"ANNOUNCER: FXX presents Archer 1999."
Archer
"CHERYL (lazily): * Twinkle, twinkle, little star *"
Archer
"* How I wonder what you are *"
Archer
"* Something, something, up so high *"
Archer
"* Kicking, screaming, burned alive *"
Archer
"ARCHER (on comms): Goddamn it, Cheryl,"
Archer
"are you gonna shoot this goddamn thing or what?"
Archer
"Well, it's hard for me to make a decision"
Archer
"without knowing what this "or what" option is."
Archer
"Duh."
Archer
"ARCHER: For God's sakes, Lana,"
Archer
"do you literally want to become lunch?"
Archer
"The gas pedal is the one on the right."
Archer
"I'm trying. I can't get any power."
Archer
"CHERYL: Why are these guns so freaking loud?"
Archer
"My earballs are on fire!"
Archer
"Shoot him in the dick!"
Archer
"CYRIL: Space snails"
Archer
"don't have dicks."
Archer
"Technically, they have both"
Archer
"male and female reproductive organs,"
Archer
"so they can inseminate and be inseminated."
Archer
"Cyril's definitely been to those kind of parties."
Archer
"-PAM: (laughs) Space burn. -Would you idiots"
Archer
"mind focusing on the problem at hand, please?"
Archer
"Krieger, why can't I get any power from the boosters?"
Archer
"What the hell is going on with the power supply?"
Archer
"Goddamn it!"
Archer
"Something must be depleting power from the ship."
Archer
"Did someone leave the fan on in the bathroom again?"
Archer
"-Not me. -And why not?"
Archer
"What is with all the banging and the shouting?"
Archer
"Are we hosting a quinceañera?"
Archer
"-(alarm blaring) -(all scream)"
Archer
"Oh, shit!"
Archer
"CHERYL: No!"
Archer
"I left my purse in there!"
Archer
"(Archer theme playing)"
Archer
"(all groaning)"
Archer
"-That was awesome. -Awesome?"
Archer
"We're stuck inside a space nautilus"
Archer
"somewhere between his colon and his cloaca."
Archer
"What's a cloaca?"
Archer
"It's an organ that's used for excretion"
Archer
"and also intercourse."
Archer
"(laughs) Smart."
Archer
"Pam, shut up."
Archer
"You know, for the person who got us into this mess,"
Archer
"you certainly are yelling at people a lot."
Archer
"-You got us into this mess. -Hey, let's not point fingers."
Archer
"Especially yours, Lana."
Archer
"Those things are like cricket bats."
Archer
"You're the one who wouldn't listen to me"
Archer
"and set our course for a galaxy"
Archer
"to which we've never been before, and, as we can now see,"
Archer
"is a ship-eating cosmo crustacean."
Archer
"Well, you were the one making the flight super boring,"
Archer
"so I started punching colored buttons"
Archer
"on the navigation panel,"
Archer
"building to a loud, yelly, final last point!"
Archer
"Can we please figure out how the hell"
Archer
"we're getting out of here?"
Archer
"-Yeah! -We are totally boned."
Archer
"Would everyone relax. We'll just"
Archer
"fire up the old plasma torch,"
Archer
"cut an ulcer in this thing, and zorp our way out of here."
Archer
"LANA: Okay. Don't waste any more power."
Archer
"It'll work."
Archer
"WOMAN: No, it will not."
Archer
"Well, not with that attitude."
Archer
"That wasn't me, idiot."
Archer
"-I tried that, too, when I got here. -Wha..."
Archer
"MALORY: Can't you go anywhere these days"
Archer
"without being accosted by the homeless?"
Archer
"CHERYL: Um, so I guess I'll just wait out here, then,"
Archer
"like some space-flunky."
Archer
"(laughs) This is so stupid."
Archer
""Lead us into battle, Cheryl.""
Archer
""Rescue the ship from certain doom, Carol.""
Archer
"Who am I, Artemisia I of Caria?"
Archer
"(creature groans)"
Archer
"You know what I mean."
Archer
"-(all groaning in disgust) -Oh, God!"
Archer
"Is it...a human?"
Archer
"RAY: Of sorts."
Archer
"Smells like a diaper's coffin in here."
Archer
"This is why you don't invite them in."
Archer
"-She's a vampire? -Everyone shut up."
Archer
"Who are you and what are you doing here?"
Archer
"My name is Glenda Price,"
Archer
"captain of the starship Tristan of Coralia."
Archer
"I also commanded the CoreStart mission."
Archer
"Wrote a book about it."
Archer
"Space Me, Space You."
Archer
"About all the good we did"
Archer
"and the lives we saved throughout the universe?"
Archer
"The cover art is my Intergalactic Peace Prize medal?"
Archer
"-Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember that. -I love Space Me, Space You."
Archer
"-Oh, yeah, yeah. -Yeah, yeah, space."
Archer
"Anyway, the Tristan was on"
Archer
"an intergalactic humanitarian mission"
Archer
"when we ran into the Zarglorp."
Archer
"What's the Zarglorp?"
Archer
"-Seriously? -Come on!"
Archer
"Even I know that was stupid."
Archer
"The creature that ate us, dummy."
Archer
"-Jesus, all right, sorry. -We were delivering"
Archer
"medical supplies to poor children and burn victims"
Archer
"when an asteroid storm forced us off course"
Archer
"into the Targluk Galaxy."
Archer
"Is that how you all ended up there?"
Archer
"Uh... uh, y-yup."
Archer
"Asteroid storm."
Archer
"Size of eggs."
Archer
"Ah, yes. We got dragged in and swallowed whole."
Archer
"The Tristan is still wedged nearby in the digestive canal."
Archer
"-And your crew? -Oh, we made do at first."
Archer
"We played softball, taught ourselves piano."
Archer
"But then the rations ran out and, one by one,"
Archer
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