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Clips from Archer - Animation (S02E02)

Short Films 2009 Season 2, Episode 11 7 min 431 clips
Short Sport Documentary

Episodes from this show

Title Season Episode
Mole Hunt 1 1
Training Day 1 2
Diversity Hire 1 3
Killing Utne 1 4
Honeypot 1 5
Skorpio 1 6
Skytanic 1 7
The Rock 1 8
Job Offer 1 9
Dial M for Mother 1 10
Swiss Miss 2 1
Animation 2 2
Animation 2 3
Animation 2 4
Animation 2 5
Animation 2 6
Animation 2 7
Animation 2 8
Animation 2 9
Animation 2 10
Animation 2 11
Animation 2 12
Animation 2 13
Animation 3 1
Animation 3 2
Animation 3 3
Animation 3 4
Animation 3 5
Animation 3 6
Animation 3 7
Animation 3 8
Animation 3 9
Animation 3 10
Animation 3 11
Animation 3 12
Animation 3 13
Fugue and Riffs 4 1
Animation 4 2
Animation 4 3
Animation 4 4
Animation 4 5
Animation 4 6
Animation 4 7
Animation 4 8
Animation 4 9
Animation 4 10
Animation 4 11
Animation 5 1
Animation 5 2
Animation 5 3
Animation 5 4
Animation 5 5
Animation 5 6
Animation 5 7
Animation 5 8
Animation 5 9
Animation 5 10
Title Season Episode
Animation 5 11
Animation 5 12
Animation 5 13
The Holdout 6 1
Three to Tango 6 2
The Archer Sanction 6 3
Edie's Wedding 6 4
Vision Quest 6 5
Sitting 6 6
Animation 6 7
Animation 6 8
Animation 6 9
Animation 6 10
Animation 6 11
Animation 6 12
Animation 6 13
The Figgis Agency 7 1
The Handoff 7 2
Deadly Prep 7 3
Motherless Child 7 4
Bel Panto: Part I 7 5
Bel Panto: Part II 7 6
Double Indecency 7 7
Liquid Lunch 7 8
Deadly Velvet: Part 1 7 9
Deadly Velvet: Part 2 7 10
Animation 8 1
Animation 8 2
Animation 8 3
Animation 8 4
Animation 8 5
Animation 8 6
Animation 8 7
Animation 8 8
Danger Island: Different Modes of Preparing the Fruit 9 3
Danger Island: A Warrior in Costume 9 4
Danger Island: Strange Doings in the Taboo Groves 9 5
Danger Island: Some Remarks on Cannibalism 9 6
Danger Island: Comparative Wickedness of Civilized and Unenlightened Peoples 9 7
Archer: 1999 -- Bort the Garj 10 1
Archer: 1999 -- Happy Borthday 10 2
Archer: 1999 -- The Leftovers 10 3
Archer: 1999 -- Dining with the Zarglorp 10 4
Archer: 1999 -- Mr. Deadly Goes to Town 10 5
Archer: 1999 -- Road Trip 10 6
Archer: 1999 -- Space Pirates 10 7
Archer: 1999 -- Cubert 10 8
Archer: 1999 -- Robert De Niro 10 9
The Orpheus Gambit 11 1
Bloodsploosh 11 2
Helping Hands 11 3
Robot Factory 11 4
Best Friends 11 5
The Double Date 11 6
Caught Napping 11 7
Cold Fusion 11 8
ANNOUNCER: They're wheel- to-wheel coming out of the last chicane...
"ANNOUNCER: They're wheel- to-wheel coming out of the last chicane..."
Archer
...the Frenchman DeVoe making a run at Bivens for second.
"...the Frenchman DeVoe making a run at Bivens for second."
Archer
...here at the Monaco Grand Prix.
"...here at the Monaco Grand Prix."
Archer
BENOIT [IN FRENCH ACCENT]: Your room, madame, is no longer.
"BENOIT [IN FRENCH ACCENT]: Your room, madame, is no longer."
Archer
No, I'm sharing it with you, and it's the last one in the hotel.
"No, I'm sharing it with you, and it's the last one in the hotel."
Archer
- Malory. - You know what?
"- Malory. - You know what?"
Archer
Hey, look, Ray, this is fine. Two of us will just have to double up.
"Hey, look, Ray, this is fine. Two of us will just have to double up."
Archer
It's bad enough Lachouffe made us schlep all the way to Monaco...
"It's bad enough Lachouffe made us schlep all the way to Monaco..."
Archer
Which is where?
"Which is where?"
Archer
- Oh, Sterling has it. - What?
"- Oh, Sterling has it. - What?"
Archer
He may be a vain, selfish, lying, and quite possibly alcoholic man-whore...
"He may be a vain, selfish, lying, and quite possibly alcoholic man-whore..."
Archer
- Wha...? - That way they comp everything.
"- Wha...? - That way they comp everything."
Archer
I call it the Sterling Archer Triple-A Power Play.
"I call it the Sterling Archer Triple-A Power Play."
Archer
- Did you get a receipt? ARCHER: Of... Of course I did.
"- Did you get a receipt? ARCHER: Of... Of course I did."
Archer
If you will please to follow me to le suite royale...
"If you will please to follow me to le suite royale..."
Archer
- Uh, Benoit. - Ha-ha-ha.
"- Uh, Benoit. - Ha-ha-ha."
Archer
Sounds like "Ben Wa balls," Benoit. "Balls." See?
"Sounds like "Ben Wa balls," Benoit. "Balls." See?"
Archer
I can't even say it without saying "balls." Say your name.
"I can't even say it without saying "balls." Say your name."
Archer
[SIGHS]
"[SIGHS]"
Archer
...and fold his towels into swans.
"...and fold his towels into swans."
Archer
Not these towels, some thicker ones.
"Not these towels, some thicker ones."
Archer
I want my luggage up here in three minutes.
"I want my luggage up here in three minutes."
Archer
My bellhops have been taken prisoner by the Wehrmacht.
"My bellhops have been taken prisoner by the Wehrmacht."
Archer
- Wait, what? - Now you just listen to me, bub...
"- Wait, what? - Now you just listen to me, bub..."
Archer
Madame, the only way you will have this suite is over my lifeless corpse.
"Madame, the only way you will have this suite is over my lifeless corpse."
Archer
MALORY: Happy? - Yeah, except for my gun's all soapy.
"MALORY: Happy? - Yeah, except for my gun's all soapy."
Archer
- It won't be. Everything's comped. - Because they expect you to gamble.
"- It won't be. Everything's comped. - Because they expect you to gamble."
Archer
- What's on that disk, anyway? - None of your beeswax.
"- What's on that disk, anyway? - None of your beeswax."
Archer
Oh, no, no.
"Oh, no, no."
Archer
No, no, no.
"No, no, no."
Archer
[SHOUTS] Pam!
"[SHOUTS] Pam!"
Archer
[MOANS]
"[MOANS]"
Archer
Ha, ha, oh, that was fun. Thank you.
"Ha, ha, oh, that was fun. Thank you."
Archer
And how does she have 2.3 million damn dollars in her 401(k)?
"And how does she have 2.3 million damn dollars in her 401(k)?"
Archer
- Make me. - Zip it, you two.
"- Make me. - Zip it, you two."
Archer
[LAUGHS]
"[LAUGHS]"
Archer
In bearer bonds, whatever those are.
"In bearer bonds, whatever those are."
Archer
He's gambling away our retirement money.
"He's gambling away our retirement money."
Archer
She awaits your passionate embrace.
"She awaits your passionate embrace."
Archer
Uh, yes, yes, he does.
"Uh, yes, yes, he does."
Archer
- Bon. Then I wish you bonne chance. - Oh, shoot. I can't. I don't have any...
"- Bon. Then I wish you bonne chance. - Oh, shoot. I can't. I don't have any..."
Archer
...chips. Thanks, Radar.
"...chips. Thanks, Radar."
Archer
Monsieur, the minimum c'est deux.
"Monsieur, the minimum c'est deux."
Archer
Thanks, Benoit balls. I don't actually...
"Thanks, Benoit balls. I don't actually..."
Archer
- Twenty-five grand? Apiece? - Bonne chance.
"- Twenty-five grand? Apiece? - Bonne chance."
Archer
Hey, hey, hang on. Benoit balls. L...
"Hey, hey, hang on. Benoit balls. L..."
Archer
So I need to get that money back.
"So I need to get that money back."
Archer
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
"[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]"
Archer
All right, let's do that again.
"All right, let's do that again."
Archer
...so bring me a fifth of Glengoolie Black and a bag of gummi bears.
"...so bring me a fifth of Glengoolie Black and a bag of gummi bears."
Archer
No, no, no!
"No, no, no!"
Archer
- Here, take this. - No, thanks. I'm not thirs... Ow!
"- Here, take this. - No, thanks. I'm not thirs... Ow!"
Archer
- How much? - Uh, well, it's hard to say, really.
"- How much? - Uh, well, it's hard to say, really."
Archer
Maybe 800,000?
"Maybe 800,000?"
Archer
You lost 800 grand?
"You lost 800 grand?"
Archer
- Here, hold these? ARCHER: Ray, I said I'm not thirsty.
"- Here, hold these? ARCHER: Ray, I said I'm not thirsty."
Archer
- Unh! - Ow!
"- Unh! - Ow!"
Archer
- Three-point-two million dollars? - I've been really streaky, Ray.
"- Three-point-two million dollars? - I've been really streaky, Ray."
Archer
Like an idiot.
"Like an idiot."
Archer
Or Lana. They'll think less of me.
"Or Lana. They'll think less of me."
Archer
Uh...
"Uh..."
Archer
- Is drunk. - Ah.
"- Is drunk. - Ah."
Archer
Who are you, Carrie Nation?
"Who are you, Carrie Nation?"
Archer
[BURPS]
"[BURPS]"
Archer
Yeah, yuk it up.
"Yeah, yuk it up."
Archer
- Have you? - Once.
"- Have you? - Once."
Archer
Unh. Oh, God.
"Unh. Oh, God."
Archer
- Look, I said I was sorry. - No, you didn't.
"- Look, I said I was sorry. - No, you didn't."
Archer
- You're not using them. - I am.
"- You're not using them. - I am."
Archer
- Then tell me your genius plan. - Rob the casino.
"- Then tell me your genius plan. - Rob the casino."
Archer
Come on, I've broken into way tougher places, right?
"Come on, I've broken into way tougher places, right?"
Archer
What does it say on the receipt?
"What does it say on the receipt?"
Archer
Do you know why they're called bearer bonds?
"Do you know why they're called bearer bonds?"
Archer
And the legal owner of a bearer bond...
"And the legal owner of a bearer bond..."
Archer
Because your mother's cleaned out all the ISIS 401(k) accounts.
"Because your mother's cleaned out all the ISIS 401(k) accounts."
Archer
[GUN COCKS]
"[GUN COCKS]"
Archer
Mother's the one who stole our retirement money.
"Mother's the one who stole our retirement money."
Archer
He does have a point.
"He does have a point."
Archer
Unh, you couldn't feel bad enough. Shut up, so here's what we're gonna do.
"Unh, you couldn't feel bad enough. Shut up, so here's what we're gonna do."
Archer
We have to keep Malory occupied while we meet Lachouffe.
"We have to keep Malory occupied while we meet Lachouffe."
Archer
ARCHER: Ew.
"ARCHER: Ew."
Archer
...I don't think she's gonna have luck.
"...I don't think she's gonna have luck."
Archer
Because you will be making the exchange with Lachouffe.
"Because you will be making the exchange with Lachouffe."
Archer
ARCHER & GILLETTE: Ew.
"ARCHER & GILLETTE: Ew."
Archer
LANA: When Lachouffe realizes we don't have $4 million in bearer bonds...
"LANA: When Lachouffe realizes we don't have $4 million in bearer bonds..."
Archer
[GRUNTS]
"[GRUNTS]"
Archer
Then, having retrieved your mother's disgusting sex tape...
"Then, having retrieved your mother's disgusting sex tape..."
Archer
Uh, allegedly disgusting. Although, probably disgusting.
"Uh, allegedly disgusting. Although, probably disgusting."
Archer
- We figure out a way to get our 401(k) money back.
"- We figure out a way to get our 401(k) money back."
Archer
I'm good.
"I'm good."
Archer
- Archer. - What? Lana, look at him.
"- Archer. - What? Lana, look at him."
Archer
- Unh. - How the hell would he know?
"- Unh. - How the hell would he know?"
Archer
If we don't get my 401(k) back, you won't live long enough to regret you were born.
"If we don't get my 401(k) back, you won't live long enough to regret you were born."
Archer
And I can let all this stuff go for $41,688.
"And I can let all this stuff go for $41,688."
Archer
...and about, say, 80 computers for your clubhouse?
"...and about, say, 80 computers for your clubhouse?"
Archer
Case in point, Lana. That's...
"Case in point, Lana. That's..."
Archer
- No, the moment's ruined. - We're ruined.
"- No, the moment's ruined. - We're ruined."
Archer
Wow, this might be hard to drive with such a huge, throbbing erection.
"Wow, this might be hard to drive with such a huge, throbbing erection."
Archer
[ENGINE WHIRRING]
"[ENGINE WHIRRING]"
Archer
...at the Grand Prix, because look here now.
"...at the Grand Prix, because look here now."
Archer
He's headed for the coast road.
"He's headed for the coast road."
Archer
[TRUCK HONKS]
"[TRUCK HONKS]"
Archer
I can't see, you fool! Get off!
"I can't see, you fool! Get off!"
Archer
Yeah, an attack helicopter and a rocket launcher, Lana.
"Yeah, an attack helicopter and a rocket launcher, Lana."
Archer
ARCHER: I see it, Lana.
"ARCHER: I see it, Lana."
Archer
- Balls. - Ha-ha-ha.
"- Balls. - Ha-ha-ha."
Archer
[SCREAMS]
"[SCREAMS]"
Archer
The money. Where's the money?
"The money. Where's the money?"
Archer
Uh, and I'm fine, since you asked.
"Uh, and I'm fine, since you asked."
Archer
- Yeah, I didn't. - Hey, you know what...?
"- Yeah, I didn't. - Hey, you know what...?"
Archer
LANA: So guess that's it for Lachouffe and Benoit.
"LANA: So guess that's it for Lachouffe and Benoit."
Archer
And speaking of, you are so lucky this worked out.
"And speaking of, you are so lucky this worked out."
Archer
...lucky at a whole shitload of all kinds of other stuff.
"...lucky at a whole shitload of all kinds of other stuff."
Archer
Why are you drinking again? We're meeting Lachouffe in 10 minutes.
"Why are you drinking again? We're meeting Lachouffe in 10 minutes."
Archer
First of all, if that's my Chanel suit, I will have your guts for garters.
"First of all, if that's my Chanel suit, I will have your guts for garters."
Archer
...was incredibly lame.
"...was incredibly lame."
Archer
...if they find out their measly 401(k)s are missing.
"...if they find out their measly 401(k)s are missing."
Archer
So wait, they're gonna fence all that stuff and then pay us for it?
"So wait, they're gonna fence all that stuff and then pay us for it?"
Archer
[English - US - SDH]
"[English - US - SDH]"
Archer
Oh, it's a great start to the qualifying heats...
"Oh, it's a great start to the qualifying heats..."
Archer